Honestly SD, people in general are normally so self-absorbed that they don't notice or care what's going on in other people's lives (except here on MB ).

But for those small-minded ones who may think you are less respectable because you're (gasp!) divorced, you know the truth, and that's what counts in the end.

Big Pharma's got Bad Karma these days. I work with quite a few of them, and there is one large company, in particular, that has had waves of layoffs over the last two years; this time around, they are calling it 'restructuring'; moving a lot of people around in the departments, spreading them a bit thinner. I dunno, I have always done the work of two, so it wouldn't be much of a shift for me, but I work for a small private company, a CRO, and we usually do well in times when Big Pharma are having layoff season, because they become desperate to keep the work moving along and need our 'hands' to get the materials to them.

And, about others seeing you as some kind of failure, well, that's generally bullpucky. If those people closest to you know the deal, they will be proud to call you friend. I know I am.

SCQ failed the marriage, because she bailed without so much as a sincere effort. You done good, Guy. Now is your time. Enjoy it. You never know what's just around the bend. Could be really good stuff. You could put all your MB knowledge to work and have a fantastic relationship with the next lucky lady

Yeah, I know (but thanks!). It's the reconciliation between what the conscious mind knows and what the subconscious mind tells us when we sleep. It's something we perfectionists can use to torture ourselves with. I'll bring it up with my IC.

You said it. CRO's are one of the few good places to be right now, I think.

I think everyone has had layoffs lately, but in 2005 my company called it Adapting to Scale. It got shorted to AtS, which then became a verb ("Hey, whatever happened to Harold?" "He got AtS-ed." In 2007 it was called Transformation. They haven't told us yet what it's called this time around.

You caught me. I troll around ball parks and restaurants all the time looking for single parents to disrespect. Then when I spot one I run up and say, “Haaa Haaaa.” All my friends do it to. We mock people who don't disrespect single parents and call them wienies.


Or NOT.




So.......

I have been "Right Sized" once.

I think I liked being layed off better.

Sdguy,

I've seen Chrisner do this, btw. He's not making it up. He's on four official watch lists as an overactive member of the Haven't Adapted At All activist group. Luckily, that breathmint amendment passed, didn't it, Chrisner?

I have an inner-ear infection. I know in my mind that the room is not spinning, the computer is not jumping up and down.

Still feels like it is...my arms automatically go out to steady, hold or stop the walls, the bed, the monitor (in my case, removing the gigantic spring I forgot I set it on)...

reasonable. Understandable. Not in my control. Taking antibiotic and a travel sickness otc meds...first time in my life for motion-sickness something...and funnily enough, NOW I'm nauseous...wasn't before I took it.

Perfectionism isn't over-rated...it's what keeps us safe from having really intimate, honest connections with others. What a payoff.

LA

I've been down sized a few times. It sure feels alot like being layed off. I really couldn't tell the difference.

and the economy's not in the crapper either. See, it was overinflated and now it's simply readjusting itself.

Overinflated = bad
Readjusting = good

Does everyone feel better now?

Does it remind you of Chiropractic Economics?

Thanks, BC.

LA

Chrisner, your slaying me!!!!!



The SNAP OUT OF IT! remark was on the mark.








I've been divorced for so long.....my children are so big.....I think it's been forever since I've been laid on.

SD,

I'm with you on the failure thing. It feels like it to me too. Like I should have made the M more of a priority, I should have done this better or that better. Feels like I failed at something.

A friend of mine has me convinced to call the medium at www.bestmediums.w.uk

I've hit rock bottom.....

I talked with my IC on this one, and she says she's never talked to a divorced person who *didn't* feel this way. Whether they had excellent reasons for being divorced or not, they (we) all feel like it is failure. Just something to go through.

It gets better.

SDG:

Would it make you feel better if I told you that I failed my marriage too?

Sure, I fixed alot of things with Flamingo.

But I certainly failed my marriage at many levels also.

It's what you do next that matters.

LG

Hey SD!!


Is that YOU saying it with conviction, speaking from personal experience or is that you quoting your counselor?


I agree, it does get better - just checking to see how you are feeling about it.

LG makes a perfect point - - what does matter is what each of us does next. You have made such strides through all of this and are at a different place than you were in your marriage. All of us are. It's building on the positive changes we have made & using all that we have learned that will play such major roles in our futures. I see good futures for all of us.

You, my friend, are going to make some special woman very happy someday. I so admire you for all you have done, and all you continue to do in your life. Your kids already know what a wonderful father you are, and someday when they are older, they will realize it in even more ways as they come to understand everything. You are a shining example to them. Take pride in that SUCCESS!!

SDGuy

I've lived long enough to state, with total conviction, that it does get better.

Both. It gets a little better every day, and I know that it's only going to get better. Putting my finger on the underlying issues (and posting about them, and having Chris make fun of them) helps make it easier to recognize that they are silly.

And I've overblown them by posting about them. On Saturday it was a split-second recognition as I was walking away from the soccer game, but my head was high and I went about my day. No big deal.


My IC talks about coming out the other side. That's when you can really start to feel better--when you emerge from the whole ordeal. She asked me about dating, and I told her I miss the companionship. That I'm not *really* trying, but that my eyes are open.

Thanks, as always, for your kind words, Bugs. I saw lots of Bug Bombs this morning, but no Bugs Update. Is there a foot-tapping emotiocon? Fox would know.

What's that supposed to mean?


Just kiddin'.



Fox

ETA: and no, there isn't a foot-tapping emoticon.

O.K.

Here's an opportunity to treat me like a dumb blonde....


I always thought SDGUY038 was.... “South Dakota Guy”... I never thought about it being San Diego Guy until I read one of your earlier entries about San Diego Pharmacy Companies "Down-Sizing"...

Too funny huh...

By the way... The military calls that "Right Sizing" Which is really bugging me.... Because it ain’t Right...

Hi SD,


...I guess there is some comfort in knowing it's 'normal' to feel like a failure...and especially that we are in such good company!


...if you and Cind say so, I guess so.

Looking forward to reduce feeling like I have been 'struggling'... forever!

It takes a while....but it does. Memories of what was or could have been come back sometimes but it does get better.

SD,

Do you remember where your Jennifer letter is? Approx. date?