None of what you just said matters one little bit.

You are divorced. You can't have your old life back.

It no longer matters what YOU want, because if she doesnt' want you, she just doesn't want you.

And it doesn't matter if you have trouble meeting someone new and she doesn't. Her dating is her business and your dating is yours. It doesn't even matter if some schmuck wants to get your exwife on a date just so he can have some SF - it's none of your business!

If you ever hope to have any chance, the only way you can turn it around is to respect her wishes and her boundaries, treat her with respect (not your wife), try to woo her like any other guy.

You said yourself she hates that you act like you are married. What makes you think she will ever suddenly wake up one morning and say 'gee, I guess I'll give it another try, he wants it so bad.' So why would she ever want you back, if you can't even stop doing the one thing she hates about you?

Quit making excuses and feeling sorry for yourself, and read the material here on how to win someone over, and start making changes.

Were should I START you coach me I will listen , Should I stop cooking and cleaning ,shopping .Lets go for it.Should I have told her about the other girl there is nothing going on .

Ok. First, what are the Love Busters that you did that bothered her? You first need to find out what you did that she didn't like - and STOP doing them.

There is a LB questionnaire here that she can fill out. Ask her to do it so you can become a better person for the next person you date. That will make her feel safe enough to answer it honestly.

Once you find out what they are, stop doing them! Tell us what they are, and we'll find ways around them.

While you're still doing housework, keeping up the house (though I wouldn't do ALL the housework; that will just make her feel entitled to do what she wants and to use you), eliminate those LBs and continue to do that for a couple weeks at least. One of those LBs, I'm sure, is interfering with her relationships. If you were married, it would be different, but you're not so you have to back away.

Let us know how that goes.

One is hanging on her try to hug her also trying to talk to her , One big one is butting in to her bizz.So just a little house work no cooking and shopping and stay away for now is that what you want ?

Not really. I want you to ask her to fill out the LB questionnaire. Then report back.

No part of that she said .I guess.

That's why you ask her to fill it out. Then you don't have to guess, and get it wrong.

She said no not doing it ,you just need to date someone we are divorced now .

Did you say that you wanted her to do it so that you could know how to date the next person?

Do you have any family or friends you can talk to?

The only thing I get is I want to be by my self ,she wants to lower the price on the house .No family to talk to.

She told me today that shes got her first date Saturday nite , O well I guess its time to move on let that lady go .I see know reason to even talk to her now .

What is she saying to me when she says I dont want you in my life right NOW ,RIGHT NOW ..

That may just be wishful thinking, hearing things that aren't there.

Here is what we tell everyone in your situation:

STOP thinking about her or any time with her. START thinking about yourself and changing yourself because you need it. If you are meant to get back with her, it will happen. But if you stay in the mindset that you NEED her or WANT her, you will not look attractive to her; you will just look needy and desperate.

Figure out what you can do for yourself. Do you have friends? Start meeting them for a game night or a barbecue or picnic or dinner out or movie. If you don't have your own friends, make them! Join some group, like a club for a hobby or sport you like. Meet people and make new (male) friends.

The only way she'll get more interested in you is if you start living your own life.

I hear you.

I also think you might benefit from a trip to the doctor. Have you been? You might be a good candidate for some temporary anti-depressants to get you through this.

Take care of yourself!

Ftroop, ftroop, ftroop...
OK, you went and did all the obvious things. And now she is really mad and resolved. You are going to have to take a different tack, my friend, for this is not a one-week battle.
You are divorced, and that is that. You have to set your sights
long term now.

First of all, forget her. You know what I mean. She's got every right to date, get drunk, have sex (even with two or three men at a time), and basically live her life without any regard to you. I'm sorry to tell you that, but it's the truth.

You have to take those 25 years and put them away for awhile.
Those are gone forever, and you have to take time and get over that (and believe me, so will she, but she probably has a hell of a head start on you.)

The only way she will ever possibly come around is if you look shiny and new again. You've got to look GOOD, man, and FEEL good. This will take on the order of years, and neither you nor she will be the same then. Put those 25 years away as a nice memory!

Then go on out there and live your life like the ftroop you are. Get drunk, have sex with maybe 3 or 4 woman at a time. Focus on making some money. Buy yourself a new boat. You know, live man! LIVE!

One day down the line, when you are feeling so damn good in the summertime, and you've got everything going just how you want it, you'll run into her at the grocery store and by then her new guy will be not so new; and they will have argued about not being able to afford the bedroom set she wanted, and she'll be tired of cleaning up his empty Skoal containers, and the way he spends all of his time over at his buddy's place working on the pickup truck, and she WILL REMEMBER YOU and WONDR SECRETLY about you.

And then you get to figure out if you want to wreck the great life you set up for yourself and go back to...that...

What is going on here , Friday nite sit around and had a bottle of wine with her taiked about us nice talk , she goes to bed tells me to go out and have fun I do . Saturday She goes out with her family to dinner stays out till 130 am I come home around 200am go to bed nothing said .Now tell me, Sunday we have Open House trying to sale the house in the morning I ask her to go get something to eat she does, we do we have a good time talking , we come home have open house went good maybe a buyer when its over we sit down and we both started crying a little about us and the house we hug and kiss a little ,So I ask her to go to see a movie with me she said yes WOW so around 630pm we go to get a ice cream before the movie it was nice I know what the movie is about she does not the MOVIE WAS FIREPROOF wow go see it people ,at first I donot think she was liking it because it hit home but at the end I said lets go she said no I want to see the end . On the way home not much was said but when we got home she said just because I went to the movies with you does not mean we are getting back together , end of the nite went to bed . What do you guys think.......

Sounds like you handled everything very well. Just keep doing this, no pressure on her, and she may start seeing the good in you again. You've got plenty of time.

Ok people its her BIRTHDAY TOMORROW what do I do here , I need feed back just a card or a card with a gift , or nothing but a happy birthday in the morning.

Send her something from Edible Arrangements.