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Joined: Apr 2005
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What has your wife said about how long this has been going on? It sounds like short term involvement, but what gives you the idea that's accurate? This may have been going on for years - if not with him, then possibly with others.

You need to get all the facts together regarding her infidelity history as a whole. You deserve to know. She needs to disclose all.


Sooly

"Stop yappin and make it happen."
"The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."

Me 47
DH 46
Together for 28 years.
Married 21 years.
Joined: Aug 2008
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Originally Posted by totallyConfused9
Quote
I do want to take this moment to reiterate that you should think long and hard about whether you want to salvage this marriage.

it may be the case that we can't save our marriage, I acknowldge that, but at this point, having been less than a week since D-day, I am not yet ready to give up on her.


I do not know where they would be meeting tonight if in fact they are still considering it. With the A exposed to the OMW, i doubt they will go through with it, they already seemed very hesitant from their emails, but who knows, her anger could drive her to go ahead with it. I have considered driving to where she works, and keeping an eye on her car for the rest of the day, but don't kow how feasible that is, she is always moving between buildings

Totallyconfused:

I am the biggest pro-marriage/anti-divorce advocate out there, but this one of those major exceptions. Certain marriages should NOT be "saved" because they truly (not "fog talk" but in reality) should not have EVER taken place. I hate to say this, but this seems like one of those cases. Here are a few examples:

1. Affair-marriages (marriages that started as adulterous or co-adulterous affairs).
2. Philandering marriages (M in which one partner--usu. the man--is a chronic, habitual, remorseless cheater)
3. Marriages marred by infidelity within the first 2 years

There is a common thread running through these marriages. One (or both) of the partners is simply not emotionally healthy, serious, commitment-minded material. They simply never took their vows to heart at all from the get-go. You mentioned that your W and you have been M for ONLY a few months...if that is correct and she is already straying, you can bet that she didn't enter the M in the correct frame of mind.
redflag

I think you need to seriously consider whether she was EVER truly committed to you and just cut your losses while you can get out relatively "on the cheap" financially and emotionally.

Sorry....


Last edited by SDCWman; 12/01/08 10:49 PM. Reason: typo

xWW:
Secret LTA w/ thrice married OM at her workplace; EA/PA starts ~ 2005-6
Files & completes D - 2007, OM/OMW#3 D - 2007, Affairage - immediately thereafter
Disappears in 2006 w/o even a goodbye to anyone, Never a paragraph of real truth ever spoken
Me/xBH:
M "for life", Suspicions (denied) & desperate Plan A latter-half '06
1st D-day 1/07, full truth D-day 7/08 (all via 3rd parties)
NC w/ xWW 8/08-date, better off w/o unrepentant vileness, betrayal, & rampant deceit in my life anymore
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