talked with lawyer breifly today...

It appears as though all of these issues are irrelevant in a separation unless it goes to court for custody.

I don't mean to sound as though my biggest concern is the financial side, but wow, W would end up walking away pretty nice and I would be struggling financially.

If she has more than 60% custody, I would be paying 100% child support + spousal. I don't know the law that well, but that seems harsh. My math shows she would be better off financially than she is now, and I would be much worse off.

The kids, well, considering she will be ultimately in charge of the support money, and we all know her gambling issues, would not be better off either.

I feel horrible thinking of the money side of things, is that normal?

After all of this I just can't imagine paying her x amount for child support with x amount of spoual over and above it all while I sit here broke.



At any rate, should I talk to her about boundaries again?

I feel as though IF we try again, I need the following boundaries to be met:
- no contact
- no gambling, & access to bank records/credit reports
- marraige counselling
- mental health help (medication/therapy)with me attending
- access to phone records, email etc...
- 100% exposure of OM & gambling probs to family

those are things I would NEED if we were to "try" again.

thoughts?

oh, and lawyer beleives I have already done what I can do as far as protecting myself financially (no joint accounts etcc))