REPat - Agree with you about the downhill direction. A lot of the time, when I snooping around (haven't been doing much since I confronted W with what I'd seen), I get angry just thinking about how much time I'm wasting when I could be doing something else I'd much rather be doing! (If I'd wanted to be a detective, I would have gone to detective school or something!)Got the tap on, hasn't turned up much (and MORE wasted time listening to the damned tapes). Another project - to hack her calling-card account. Now THAT might turn up something!<P>InShock - Thanks. It helps me make my decision if I know that if they tell him to knock it off and he does, then they won't give me the name. That's what I really want. I'm fairly sure that if he thinks I'm going to find out who he is, he'll stop. Both He and my W are very careful and discreet about their affair, I will say. (Not careful enough, though!)Well, if their little signal system has to stop, maybe it would force him to actually call her on her phone, which my tap would pick up, so it might be worth it anyway.<P>Everyone - Thanks again for all the thoughtful responses. I think I'm going to do it!!! R & B,<P>--Wex

<BR>Wex-<P>I'm with you on this one. I was going crazy not knowing who the OM was. I finally did my own detective work and figured him out. I was amazed at how easy it was - I really wish I'd done it sooner so I could have put my mind at ease. I could have known a year ago (it's astounding how much information is publically available on the net) and saved myself some major aggrevation.<P>I've not done anything with the info and I very likely won't...it's just good to know as much about him as he knows about me. This way there won't be any surprises and no opportunity for any "accidental" meetings.<P>Slightly Sane<BR>