No there are no exceptions.

The holidays are a Godsend to BS's trying to wreck their WS's affair. He needs to go even DARKER.

There is no freakin TRUCE - only complete surrender from the WS.

Brae - I still believe you should go to Plan D.

BigK, braeworth is considering inviting WW to his home on Christmas morning and LEAVING for an hour so she can assuage her guilt by playing happy family with DD. In other words, he is considering sabotaging his Plan B on Christmas.

Thought you and Bobpure should know that......

Yep - I got the memo Mel.

I fear you are wasting your time here.

I don't think Mel is wasting her time here at all. I think she corrected a wrong that I was sorta thinking and did so in fine fashion. Now I get it, and hopefully so does Brae.

I dunno where or how Bob Pure got into this cause I never once saw his name, but guess I could be wrong. Once again.

All Blessings,
Jerry

Bob has posted on this thread.

Bob and I worked a lot with Brae when he was here over a year ago Jerry.

Wow BK, a year ago???

This is far outside of my comments.

Sorry.

All Blessings,
Jerry

Jerry, I mentioned BobPure because he had posted quite a bit to braeworth in the past and they are both silly foreigners.

Hmmmmm.....
That means outside of Texas, right?

All Blessings,
Jerry

well, usually! But in this case, they are both BRITS. And when braeworth told me his wife and aunt were going to "call" on Christmas Day, I NATURALLY thought he meant on the phone!

OK, I gotcha.

Sorry if I intruded and lead Brae in the wrong direction.

Just my Cristmas heart I guess. Ohh Wellll,

All Blessings,
Jerry

I am so glad that you proposed the question about Christmas Jerry.

The ink is drying on my plan B letter now and I will hand it over soon. I too wondered about Christmas and so much of me wants to make it a chance to reconcile, but, it cannot be whilst plan b is in effect.

The WS needs to choose the M first.

Goodluck Brae and stay strong. I'm right behind you and behind you!

Brae,

Every time Plan B is broken it is another nail in the coffin of your M. Your WW must suffer the consequences of her actions. STOP TRYING TO PROTECT HER! If you continue to try and shield her you'll end up a pathetic friend in her eyes.

Braeworth ( and all)

Plan B feels Like it is pushing our WS away.
Plan B actuallyis the very best hope a marriage affected by an active affair can possibly have for restoration.

If the BS feels lonely, sad and wanting to reconcile HOW DO YOU THINK THE WS FEELS ? It has a WORSE effect on the WS and THAT is what motivates them to reconcile.

Prepare for darkness.

Go dark.

STAY dark.

Your WW will take what she can get away with. If that is a uncommitted dabbling with the kids while banging OM and whining on to him about how hard her life is that's just what she'll take.

If the price of YOU continuing to contribute to HER life is a full and total recommitment to YOU that might just be what you get.

Brae you better find that twinset, kiddo. Get angry , get RIGHTEOUS but Get EFFECTIVE in plan B.

BigK, Bob, Mel and all.
Thanks for all your comments, so much to take in. I am very dark in Plan B, but needed advice for Christmas, which is going to be tough on me and DD, but all your comments have been very helpful.

Bob,
Thanks for taking the time, I see you are having some issues of your own at the moment.

BigK,
What makes you say I should go to Plan D, I am considering it but would appreciate your input

true enough ! However i RULE at killing affairs stone dead, its recovery i suck at

Plan D can be a very effective way to get a persistent WS recommitted quickly.

An aggressively driven plan D - no mercy.

If the WS has any shred of doubt that they want a divorce they have to act on it profoundly and quickly else they'll be cut loose ASAP.

And if the WS really doesn't have any desire to recommit the BS has lost nothing but weeks / months or more hopeful hurt.

In the case of your WW who has been in receipt of plan A and an MB-investing BS for a long time, Big K and I really believe you need radical action mate. Your best effort so far hasn't killed the A.

Do you want a dignified new start or an undignified game of "who lays with the wife this week" ping pong ?

Not a THREAT of divorce mind you - a committed and aggressive D started now and driven as quickly as possible with some passion.

Yes yes I know it is scary and uninstinctive, and you'll choose your own way.

In summary - your W is behaving like a lovestruck teenager - as though everything in the world is about how it makes her feel.

Plan D stops that in one way or another.

All blessings.

Thanks Bob,
I am sticking with a DARK Plan B until the New Year and then Plan D will be added to the mix. I can't really afford to issue the divorce petition before Christmas, but a lonely Christmas for WW may bring her to her senses.

I took some 2x4's for my Christmas plans, and I will review them, thanks to Mels suggestions. My thinking was that knowing my W, her coming to the house with dinner cooking, me in the kitchen with the door shut and her having to walk away from DD, after an hour on Christmas morning would break her heart and may have more impact than her being out of the way and speaking to DD on the phone.
Before I started Plan B, I have seen WW drive away from the house in tears several times

Do not feel a shred of pity. Every ill in her life is of her own creation, and it is within her gift to resolve them all too.

She is a volunteer for this.

Plan B is about the WS facing the consequences of remaining out of the marriage, and Christmas is a great time for this to be effective.

BTW Braeworth when your kids go to OMs house for dinner, is he there ? If so how is he introduced ?

Many folks here do not permit OP to have any contact with the children at all pre-divorce so there is no chance of normalizing their involvement in the kids lives.

I suggest that should be a cast-iron rule for you too.

I tell you the truth - if OM had ever been in contact with my kids with any aspiration to being mommy's special friend or whatever I would have killed him.

I know you have said this before.

I have told WW that under no circumstances is DD to have any contact with OM. If DD goes to see WW, he must be out. So far she has stuck to that.

As for WW driving away in tears, I do not feel any pity. It makes me feel good that she is suffering for her actions

And knowing about PLAN B, this is a bad idea because it will give the wife THE FIX she needs to assuage her guilt about abandoning her family. You will be protecting your W from the consequences of her actions AND ruining your credibility by breaking Plan B all in the same fell swoop!

Talk about snatching DEFEAT from the jaws of victory and RUINING ONE OF THE BEST PLAN B OPPORTUNITIES YOU HAVE! Spending the holiday ALL ALONE is one of the BEST wake up calls the WS can experience and you plan on PROTECTING HER from that.

Do you know who the LEAST OBJECTIVE person is on this thread, braeworth?

Can you take a wild guess?

you have no control over this because you allow your wife to take your DD to her affair lair. He could come in at any time. Lets not pretend like you are taking a stand here, braeworth. You are not.