You've been quiet for awhile. I hope your shoulders aren't covering your ears so you don't hear our callouts.

What up, Amigo?


Fox

Nah, quite the opposite. Things have been quiet. Cricketish, even. No emails other than harmless logistics stuff, so I've been quite relaxed. I even addressed the SCQ personally at DS8's baseball game the other day about the kid swap.

Not much to say. I dug out a Jennifer letter and posted it over on CL's thread. Just digging around in my thread, a year ago at this time I was stressed over Christmas ornaments. If she asks for more of them this year, I will tell her she can have whatever of them she wants and buy new ones.

Peace is good.

The quiet can be a bit deafening after the D-train blows by. But you get used to it and end up really enjoying it!

I'd rather be a BS after the D than a WS.

Glad things are going well for you.


And here is where we part ways. I'd tell her to take a flying leap.

But that's just me.


Fox

I bet her ornaments would make great targets at the range. What a shiny little puff they would make when hit by a 5.56mm round at 100 yards! What a hoot!

I had to buy all new ornaments last year. Wayzilla took all the nice stuff but I don't miss it. New is better for me.

I wonder if she will feel "Christmassy" this year? Last year DD20.928 said she put almost nothing out for Christmas.

SD,

Thanks for posting that Jennifer letter!!

I don't imagine she will ask. The MSA said something about making photos and movies available for copy. She hasn't asked about that, either.

Her life is sad and pathetic.

It's a shame that she doesn't know it yet...

SD!! Tell us about life after D. Come back!!

Ditto for me!

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

I've been around, I just haven't had much to say. Which is usually a sign that I need to post something, so later I'll put together an update.

Hi, everyone.

I'm sdguy's big brother. We've all been lurking on this list since the beginning. We are so thankful for all of the counsel and encouragement offered by you wonderful long-time posters.

Which brings me to Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving season ended at my house today when we took down the "thankful chain". We make this long chain of construction paper links. On each link is the name of someone we're thankful for. The only rule is it has to be a real, living person. This year I took some pictures. If things work right, you can look at them via the link below. You'll probably recognize some of the names.

http://picasaweb.google.com/iamdrscott/ThankfulChain?authkey=_FkaSLHhwxw

We are praying for you. God bless you all.

How absolutely awesome!

Wow, I'm honored. I certainly am thankful for the counsel I've gotten from Guy Smiley, and I'm forever linked to BC now. He's got the best jokes...well, he's got the mose crude jokes, but it's my kinda 13 year old boy humor

Thank you, bro of sdguy, for sharing those.

Wow. I am so touched.

I took a couple of minutes alone on Thursday and thought of everyone here and went back over how I was helped. Sometimes, it was as simple as drawing a smile from me that I didn't think was possible that day.

I will forever be grateful to everyone here that has stuck with me and have offered their own stories and experiences.

Thank you, Guy Smiley, for all you have done here. I count your presence in my life as a blessing.

Fox

Wow.. just wow.. I'm completely humbled and overwhelmed at the same time.

Thank you, and your family so very much for thinking of me and the others here on MB. I hope you all had a wonderful and happy Thanksgiving.

I know that I have been, and will continue to be thankful for the connections we've made with eachother, and holding one another up through the toughest of circumstances.

SD.. you and the others here have been a shining light in my darkest hour. Thank you so much for being who you are.

Truly a reminder that we are in splendid company around here.

Hello Doc!

Thank you so much for posting the picture link. I have to say it brought tears to my eyes,,,,along with such an overwhelming feeling of honor & thankfulness.

I am sure I don't have to tell you what a wonderful brother you have in GuySmiley! We are truly the ones that are blessed to have had the priviledge & honor to know him. He is such a loving, generous man and I am oh so proud to count him among the many blessings I've received this last year - along with those from all of the wonderful folks on this site.

Thanks, DrScott, for posting the photos of the Thankful chain and giving others a glimpse into how valuable the support offered here can be. And thanks to my amigos for the kind words, as always.

I've been going through one of those hard-to-post periods. I don't really understand where those come from. Sometimes I wonder whether hanging around here impedes moving on. I think of LilSis, who suffered on here with the best of them but then rebuilt her life and got on with it. I haven't heard anything from her since the note about her WxH's plans to marry RT (and I assume she sent that note to me because she lost her login info here), but I'm sure she's doing great. We all move at our own pace, I guess.

None of these thoughts diminish how valuable this place has been and how much the support from people like PM, B, LG, Luna, CL, CW, Amazin, Cinders, Chris, LD, Marsh, Lexxy, BR (in addition to those whose names show) has meant to me. You guys have all been and continue to be blessings.

I dunno. It's still a roller coaster, but a much tamer one. I still have anger, but I don't get angry very often, and when I do, it doesn't last long. Some of it comes from looking around and realizing that being a 40-year old single dad was never part of my plan. Not that I had much of a plan, mind you, but this certainly wasn't part of it. I don't want to have to date and chase and play guessing games and try to sell myself and face rejection. Says one part of me.

In the good moments, another part of me looks at the person the SCQ seems to be (and probably was all along) and sees the deficiencies and imagines how much better a relationship would be with someone who did a little more of this and a little more of that and marvels at how many people are really out there. Lots of possibilities. Hey, B, where is that barrel full of fish you've been talking about?

My IC seems to be pushing me in this direction--that I should get back Out There. I've taken some baby steps and have been sizing up options for getting more serious about it. We'll see.

My parents were just here for ten days, which flew by. It was a good visit, as always, and the kids loved it. The SCQ graciously swapped days with us so that the kids could be here for Thanksgiving (she was, predictably, going to POSOM's mother's house). I was determined to cook and do the traditional meal if the kids were here and am pleased with how well it turned out. I did the majority of the work, but it was certainly easier with my mom here. The kids had a good time and cried when their grandparents had to go home.

The kids are okay. They tell me more about their life on the other side, and I am able to listen without being triggered. I only go as far as saying "how do you feel about that?" without adding any of my own sentiments on how I think they should feel about that. And I'm not sure what I should want them to feel, anyway. If they're stuck with POSOM, maybe it's better that they don't know what a vile sack of [censored] he is. He is What Is for them. And me.

I'll try to get caught up on other threads later. Gotta get to work. I have to write my annual performance self-evaluation, which is a load of crap because they already know perfectly well what rating they are going to give me. In these economic times, however, and considering how much leeway the company has given me (performance-wise) over the past two years, I know I need to put in effort on the evaluation. Sigh. In the past few days I have had both the It's time for opening night of the high school musical but I haven't learned all my lines dream *and* the The semester's almost over but I never did drop that math class and haven't been all year dream. Those are more like once-a-year things for me. Hope it's the evaluation.

Oh GAWD!!! I loathe those dreams. Those are STRESS induced dreams FO-SHO!!! I used to have the one about the Analytical Chem class that I forgot to drop and never went to, didn't have the books or syllabus and needed it to graduate

Then I woke up and realized it was just that I had 5 exams to study for, or that I was pregnant nearing the end of that journey or that my husband had run off with another woman :RollieEyes:

I feel your pain...

SD, that was very cool of you to do that! We all know how much we mean to each other, but it's still nice to see it expressed in a special way like that.

You are well on your way to a better life too. Figure out exactly what you want in a woman and don't settle for less.

That goes for everybody.

NO SETTLING!!

Dating has had it's ups and downs. I can't say they've been lined up down the block, but thinking about the past year, I'd say I've had a fair share of options. Most had nothing I was looking for, a few have, but weren't in the same place as me. So I can't say it's been a blast, but every option has given me better clarity on where I want to go and with what kind of person. So there's plenty of fun and plenty of not so fun all mixed together when it comes to dating.

Regardless, you've got to move foward if you want to get to where you want to be.

Best of luck SD

Those pictures were from my brother's house, BC. They (like my parents and some friends) follow my thread without posting. I didn't have anything to do with it other than attracting such cool people to my thread. That *they* recognize it says something about how important you guys are and also says something about how cool *they* are, too.

Thanks for the dating thoughts. I don't think I liked dating much as a kid, either, so I didn't do much of it. Looking back, I don't think I went through much of a thought process with the SCQ--it just felt right and was easy and comfortable and so I didn't question it much. I could say that it was a mistake, but, like I've said before, I wouldn't undo my kids for anything.

It's weird. For all of that, I could still see us happy together. I was talking with friends the other day and heard myself use the words "lose a loved one to addiction," which is how I feel about the SCQ most of the time. I don't actively want her back or waste any life force hoping for it, but the door hasn't slammed shut yet. Once I find the barrel, maybe.

Yeah, I knew someone out there would relate. Pretty much the same dream. Isn't that weird? Dreams, the brain, people and their motivations. . . fascinating stuff.