Thanks...it makes it quite clear where my Lord stands on that issue!

medc - That spot is getting smaller everyday. I don't think about it near as much as I used to. I go home and try and focus on what the kids needs are and making sure they are happ and think the he!@ with the w. If this things ends like it looks like it is going to it will not take me long to let go, but it will hurt deeply to do so.

Yeah I have thought about a cell phone jammer. and even looked at some. Does anyone know which one works the best? I jsut can not wait until 4:00PM today. I told the PI last night that I have a strong gut feeling that we will get what we need in the next 3 days. I had that same feeling last week whe OM was spoted in the car that my wifes drives which I pay for.

I'd like to second this.

It had been suggested before, but HF said it'd just make her go outdoors to text.

Actually, I think this is the PERFECT time of year for her to have to go out of doors to carry on her schmoozing and koozing.

(pausing to look at weather.com)

Hmm. Tonight's low in Fayetteville is gonna be 23 degrees - dunno how close you are to there, but since Arkansas isn't as big as Texas, I'm ASSuming that the weather is pretty much the same around the state.

Geez. That's a mite bit chilly there doancha think?

You cannot make her STOP texting, but you CAN make it uncomfortable for her. That's the key. YOU don't stop it, you just make it harder.

Capice?

There is NO reason in the world that she should be allowed to carry on her adultry in front of your children. NONE.

I know those young'uns come first for you HF. Take another step in protecting them.

Por favor.

Any suggestions on which jammer to purchase? Just spoke with my coworker and my wife and OM are parked beside each other in the parking lot at her work. Same sitch as last week when he got in the car with her. Could get interestin today. would be nice to catch some type of physical contact today and save some $$$$$. according to my lawyer we jsut have to establish a pattern, and some form of physical contact and then bam, there is grounds to file on the basis of infedility/adultery. Boy I would liek to get that on video and drop the bomb to omw, my w work, parents, and school board.

Just a question....is your wife a teacher? And does the OM work at the school? From your comment about hoping to have information to tell the school board it made me wonder. I can tell you from experience that if this is the case....they will FROWN heavily on this.

I don't know anything about jammers...phone recorders, I could tell you a bit...but I'm lost about any jammers unless you count Smuckers or Bama...

WoC,

The OM is VP on the local school board. Sick, non?

No my wife is not a teacher, but her and OM work together at a company. OM is actually the vice president of the school board.

My coworker that goes to my w company just came back and told me he saw my w and om in the elevator this morning, and then again standing in the hall talking. I guess that they are using work time for play time. that is why I need to tell one of her bosses which I know really well. I also do business at my w company and I just remembered the last time that I went out there 2 people that I have not seen in about 6 months asked me what I was doing there checking up on my w. This is before I knew about om. I guess thta it is probably going all around the company. I can only imagine the rumors as having to of worked with some of the people at that company.

YOU KNOW WHAT THE ANSWER IS ... YOU JUST STATED IT.

It's called cake-eating ... like having your cake and eating it too. You are plan B ... the fall back position ... in case OM won't leave his W (which he won't voluntarily) ... then WW can stay safe and secure with you until OM3 shows up.

The reason I advise against exposure outside of the courts, is that you only get one real good opportunity to "SPRING" this on her. If you expose now, you give her a head's up on what may be coming during the D. It's your life and your call, and I would go with your Attorney's advice on the matter, but if it were me, I would do my very best to simply ingnore her until you had sufficient PROOF to obtain an "at fault" decree citing her adultery so you have grounds to get full custody and a preferential property settlement.

I would also consult with your attorney about "Alienation of Affection" (or something similar) laws in Arkansas, so you can name OM as a party to the suit. You can bet your last nickel that OM's W will believe you NOW that hubby is brought in as a party in your divorce suit.

Like I told you before ... THIS IS WAR ... and AMBUSHES are very effective tactics in WAR, but you only get one chance to pull them off.

You want to expose???

Consider the nuclear, scorched earth exposure that would occur when your WW and OM are both served by the sheriff, with documented proof from your PI of their infidelity, and then all of it is picked up by the local newspaper from the court records.

Now THAT'S an effective exposure!!!

Keep your wits about you, and then "RELEASE THE DOGS OF WAR!!!"

You're kidding, right?

There is no "if" here, you're well on the path with a plan for divorce. All you're going through now is painful enough. You need 2 brace yourself for the road ahead, because it's not going 2 be any easier for quite a while.

But I'd bet, for a lot less than you're paying this PI for the weekend, you could get a second opinion on the chances and sensibility of recovering your marriage. If only you'd make that call.

I'm back out,
-ol' 2long

P.S. Edited 2 add: MyRev is right about exposure. If you're going for DV, you don't show your hand before court. It's only if you're trying 2 recover your marriage that you expose so that the exposees can help pressure the affairees 2 end their affair. But you aren't recovering your marriage, you're burying it.

Yeah - I have thought about waiting for some of the same reasons that you mentioned. My lawyer has already talked with me about "alienation of affection" and also talked with me about when they are finally caught with the proper proof that OM will be called to court. what is going to be very hard for me to do is my lawyer said under no circumstances that I leave the house. It will take 30 days for everything to go through the system if I end up filing. If I end up doing that it is going to be very hard to be around my w without saying anything after knowing what she has really done if and when I get the proof I need. If I see video of her and om in some kind of physical contact that 30 days is going to be like living in a torture chamber.

I am not burying anything. I am not the one doing this. All I want is the proof to make a decision that I can live with. I am not leaning either way at the moment, I am kind of at the cross roads.

Bull feathers! You aren't responsible for the affair, true. You ARE responsible for what you are doing about it. If you were trying 2 recover your marriage, you wouldn't need additional "proof" of an affair... ...but you, me, and many others have been over that before on this thread. No need 2 waste any more energy on it.

Look, WSs don't play with full decks. They can't make decisions about the marriage or the family. The BS has 2 do that during plan A. But you're not in plan A, you're in plan FU.


No you're not. IMHO.

-ol' 2long

I'm feeling better about the attorney who is advising you, after you have given us a little more info.

I think you may have misunderstood him about he 30 days. My guess is it may take 30 days to get her response to the complaint, and then get an order from the court removing her from the home, but it likely won't take that after she has been served.

You won't have to remain silent for 30 days. Once the suit has been filed, you can make home life as uncomfortable as you want for WW.

Once she has been served and the A has been exposed to everyone, my guess is that the OMW will throw him out and your WW will follow. She WILL abandon her family for OM ... its crazy, but WW's are CRAZY. All she's waiting on RIGHT NOW, is for him to make the first move and leave his W, and she will do the same.

Regardless of her WORDS, this WW is showing by her ACTIONS that she has absolutely NO RESPECT for you, and is just USING you for the security you provide.

I have done plan a with her before. Whether I am in a plan or trying to find proof. I am the only one at the moment making all of the decisions and doing all of the work. Have you not seen that from my other posts.

Yes I have. That's my point. When in plan A or B, the BS has 2 do all the work, because the WS can't and won't. They don't even think they need 2, because they've got the best of both worlds at the moment. But they don't know that it can't last.

-ol' 2long

And if you stand in the middle of the intersection long enough, you will get run over by traffic.

Can't do nothing much longer.

Pick a plan.

Plan A or Plan FU and Plan D.

Plan do nothing will gain nothing.

Plan wait and see will get you Plan D.

Just do something even if it's wrong...

My plan right now is to spend the rest of this week trying to get more evidence. Then expose to everyone that I can. I feel like that is the best thing to do at this point.

Just spoke with my attorney to let him know that my W is being watched for the next 3 days. He advised me once again that all I need is to show a pattern and get something physical between the two. I feel very confident in him, and my gut is telling me that it may not even take 3 days. I also spoke with the PI and we have changed plans. We were only going to watch her after she got off work, but have decided that we may be missing opportunities at lunch time. So starting tomorrow he will be watching her at lunch time as well.