Uh huh, I see.

Mrs. W

you should not have felt pressured to reveal this.

Thank you for being kind enough to do this for some people.

You really should share nothing more than you choose to. Don't give into pressure.


eta...if at any point you want this removed, just ask.

I'll remove it now.

I got it wrong, sorry. I thought you'd already said so here before.

-ol' 2long

P.S. Well, I removed it, but others will have 2 edit their quotes.

I don't

Somehow I doubt he has slimed FWS's over there as he has here.

Even clearer 2 me now that you don't!

Phwew!

-ol' 2long

Huh?

What did you just say?

-ol' 2long

I wouldn't forgive them. I would seek them out one by one and kill them. But hey, that's my sin to bear.

[/quote]

You wouldn't hunt them down and kill them if you didn't have a serious character flaw. You'd forgive them.

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At least I have the satisfaction of knowing that it is one **edit** opinion, and nowhere near fact.

Thank you, Krazy.

I think you meant, "I'm sorry, Krazy".

Yeah, I caught it. It's a POV that I agree with.

But you sort of bypassed the second part of my comment. How can you claim to be judging people by their actions, yet then say you do not believe that the actions of a FWS are legit. This approach, at least to me, is no longer judging them by their actions, it's just judging them.

Additionally, leveraging studies, personal experiences, etc. doesn't add support to this POV. Meaning if one truly measures an individual by their actions, the actions of people in a similar situation are irrelevent with respect to measuring that individual's character. Relevent to predicting what their actions may be, yes, but their character will only be defined by the actual actions they take.

If those future actions they take, lead them down a path that does not include adultery, then I would think you would have to conclude they have changed. I suppose the nature of that change can be debated, but still, it's a change.

Aside from all that, what I am curious about are a couple of things in no particular order.

1. If you are correct about FWS, what do you propose people do? A question I posted earlier. If its just to let us know our lives aren't going to turn out like we hoped, well, I imagine most have figured that one out.

2. Something did change in your posts. I think it would be helpful to know the context. I've seen several requests for you to provide the context and you seem to be ignoring them. I have no problem if you don't want to share the info, just rather than ignore the question at least just post you aren't going to talk about it.

3. Why the "drive by" style? Meaning a lot of your posts lately have been a comment pertaining to the original post topic and then a fairly overt "giving the finger" to any FWS's. It would seem the goal is just to be inflammatory. Are you performing some sociological experiment?

4. If you really feel this way, why do you try to recover? I mean, I struggle to reconcile why someone would stay with a person that they are certain is just a ticking time bomb.

This question could also be legitimately asked of the poster who recently stated, "The only one I give any leeway to is my wife, and I doubt whether I'm doing the wise thing every day." 2-1/2 years down the pike and still burdened with this uncertainty, not of eventual success but of the worth of even trying, and I'd begin to question whether or not this was something I really wanted to do. And if I were the "leeway":RollieEyes:-receiving spouse, would I gratefully keep trying to recover with someone who was going to think this of me forever? Not on your life.

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You'd "begin to question" after 2.5 years? I've been questioning whether it's worth the effort from day one. How could I not, given the estimated rate of infidelity and repeated infidelity in marriage?

To me, it's foolish not to question the worth of even trying. I am trying, however, despite what my gut screams as me almost every day.


Why the smilie after "leeway"? Do you think I really don't give her leeway, do you think the idea of me giving her leeway is silly...what gives?

Do you think I'm stupid enough to treat her in the manner you are insinuating? I do not let it be known that I have doubts everyday. I try very hard to treat her like a husband should.

Will I always have doubts about her fidelity? I'd be a fool not to.

Will I ever forgive her? I don't know, but it's not necessary. If it happens, it's a bonus.

If treating her well despite what she's done to me, yet being unable to forgive her means I have a serious character flaw, then there are many spouses out there who would be lucky if their husband or wife possessed the same flaw.

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