good catch.


Looks like you have a plan. Stay on course.


Stay stealth and get the ducks in a row and then pull the trigger on exposure when the PI is done.

A shock and awe confrontation from a BH who means business has worked for successfully recovered BH. Mgolfer is a recent example.

That is my intention "shock and awe" everyone involved. I do not believe anyone knows about this thing except my w and OM. I just received an email from my wife. I have attached the contents of the email.

"Just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you."


Then she attaches a picture of a heart with I love you written in it. This is the thing that I really struggle with. she knows what she is doing and yet will still do this. In my opinion it is very cruel. These are the types of things that my w and I always did on ocassion when everything was great. Why in the he!@ does she continue when she knows she is in an A with OM, and can tell OM "that is what i love about you", or "i love you to". Why do ww keep their h hanging on a string or trying to string them along. Is it for the security that the h gives and to make sure they have a soft place to land when all goes south. If that is the case I do not want any part of it.

Your question has already been answered.

She does it to you BOTH because she wants her cake with a side of ice cream.

I totally understand that, but it is just very crazy. If I was to do something like my w is (shich I would never do), it would make more snese to me to pull completely away from my spouse and place all of my attention on the op. But it does make sense that she does it to keep me off track and not so suspicious.

I remember how much this part hurts.

I'm so sorry for you and your kids.

There are people pulling for you all.

Thanks! Yeah it hurts very much. I have been hurting over this since aug. 07 when I got the "my feelings have changed statement" and then finding out about OM1, and now a year later still hurting from the first thing I am dealing with another OM sitch.

I suggested to you a while ago to tell your wife to NEVER text, email, speak or leave a note with the words "I love you" while she is disrespecting you in such a flagrant way.

I suggest you do that in response to her latest communication.

WW,

Never tell me you love me when it is evident by your actions that you do not know what those words truly mean. You are disrespectful to me in ways that are very, very hurtful. Your actions are speaking a lot louder than your hollow words.

Hogfan

I told her that Saturday night when I seen the texts to OM that said " that is what i love about you, and i love you to" I told my w to never tell me that she loves me or cares for me again.

This is part of the craziness of affairs. I used to beg my H to let me out of the M gracefully without all the drama and lies if he wanted to continue with OW-- just to give me the dignity of truth so I could put my life back together. Nope. Nuthin' doin'. Two years of false recoveries, working on making a better M while continuing with OW and lying to me. It was incredibly cruel and did a lot of damage.
The thing is that the A is not real. None of it. Your W has fallen into an incredibly stupid pit of lies and destruction. It is a tragedy for everyone.

then STOP reading her texts and emails.

Update: Well nothing happened yesterday with the PI. W left work and came home. Did not set in the parking lot and talk with OM. OM was gone when my w left the office and went to her car. Last night was more of the same. W came home and put away a couple of loades of cloths. i cooked supper, cleaned the kitchen, did a load of laundry, and played with the kids while the wife watched tv all evening after supper.

My w and I had a conversation about om last night. My w brouhgt up the fact that I had seen the text that said "that is what i love about you". My w apologized for that. I told her how would you feel if I was telling another woman those things. she really did not reply. I think that she is starting to get very nervous about what she is doing. I am starting to think thta I have all I need to expose, I am not sure. This whole sitch hurts so bad. She told me that she is not doing anything with him they are just friends, and the she will tell me that she sent him that text because he is fun. If she is not doing anything with him then how does she know he is fun. I told her that I always try to do things with you and the girls (camping, 4-wheeler riding, the zoo, the park, vacations) and you never want to go or always say you can not get off work. I do not know where to go with the conversation that she started. I do not know if she is starting to feel guilty or what is going on.

You know what I think?

I think that the OMW is pulling on his leash and he's backed off, and your W ***maybe*** is beginning to see that he's not as serious about her as she thought. I think she is seeing a bit of the bigger picture here - and it DOESN'T include her and stole-meat riding off into the sunset. Instead, the picture shows that she will be nothing but a dirty little secret to him...

You need to STOP having those conversations. You're going to be exposed to your WS using all kinds of WS-Speak to rationalize or justify her behaviour and gaslight you into accepting it, which will leave you feeling even more confused and worse about your situation.

When your WW wants to start up a conversation about OM or anything about her behaviour concerning him, respond indicating that the only thing you're interesting in discussing about OM is an agreement for her to establish and maintain no contact between your wife and him, because what's happening now is damaging your relationship.

I do not know if that is the case. I did notcie that there was not any texting last night that I could tell, and she had hidden her phone. I don't really know what is going on. She could be making plans. she was asking me a lot of questions last night about taking the kids to my other property on Friday to spend the night with their grandmother, so my w could go Christmas shopping without having to drag the kids with her. she was asking me when we were leaving, were we coming back sat., or Sun. I just told her that we were leaving as soon as school was out and we would be back on Sat. evening. that response seemed to hasten her thinking and she began to question other things. I believe that she is getting nervous about something, and that is OK because the PI is still watching. Nothing yesterday, but will be on her today at 11AM, and then again at 4PM. On Friday he will be on her at 11AM and then again at 4PM throughout the night. I still ahve a really strong feeling that she is going to do something,a nd OM could be involved. I am just really starting to think that maybe I have enough and can expose, but I keep remembering the last time I called OMW and the response I got. I am not even sure she would answer my call.

I tried to go in that direction. I told her about no contact and how much all of this was hurting me and the kids. She just replies with we are just friends. I told her that all of her attention and affection are going toward her friend to the point that she does not even acknowledge or play with her kids. She just denies, denies, denies. I ended the conversation there,a nd told her that I did not want to talk about om or her a any longer. She kept saying i am not having an affair or cheating on you. We are jsut friends. I just went to bed and let her keep talking her bulls!@#.

Don't get into a conversation with her about OM!

Make it clear that you are not interested in hearing any justifications or explanations about why it's necessary for her to continue that relationship when she knows how much it hurts you; that the only thing you are interesting in hearing about her and the OM is that she's decided to consider your feelings on the matter and establish NC.

Then walk away.

Have you got the cellphone jammer yet?

Not yet. I am not sure which one to purchase. Does nayone have any recommendations on the cell phone jammer? What was so weird abotu the conversation is I did not even start it. I am at a point today that I do not believe I have felt during this entire sitch. I large part of me wants to give up and let her go. All of the things that my w used to tell me or do for/with me to show me that she loved me and will now compare me to some om is just unbearable to be around. I honestly believe that she is trying to make me leave the home, but that is something I will never do to my kids without knowing how much time I would get with them or if I would get them all together. I am setting here thinking about calling OMW at work. I am jsut not sure how to approach her again, or if I need to wait and see what happens after Friday if PI has gotten anything else.

Waiting is the pits. Get yourself a bullet to chew on, if you have to. It's only a few more days, and you really need to know how Mrs. Mouse is going to play when she KNOWS Mr. Cat is going to be away.

she is so unpredictable, but I am sure there could be some play. What is more of the pits than waiting is she seems to be one step ahead of me all of the time. Waiting is not what has me feeling the way that I do today. It is her starting a conversation with me about OM last night I guess. I jsut feel like quitting today, or giving up, or whatever. I am not sure if maybe I am loosing the love that I had for her.