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The other problem I run into with OMW is that she winds up telling him everything.
She took his cell phone away so he cant contact my W, but he called from work from another persons cell to tell her they were watching her.
OMW is doing alright on her end. Will not put her foot down with him for anything big, though. He is trying to stay married and persue my W, my W doesnt live with me atm so I have very little influence or control on what she does.
BH-me 32
WW-27
Married 5 yrs. together for 8
D2
D7
D-Day:11/10
EA for a week went PA and WW immediately left home leaving everything behind.
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The other problem I run into with OMW is that she winds up telling him everything. Thats good. It will spook him to find out you know what you do. He will know you are watching... You could say things you know she will tell the OM that will really scare him, like HR is having him "watched" because they are considering sexual harassment charges, blah, blah, etc. Try to scare him, Rusty!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Not too worried, but a little worried because he has already made threats toward me. How do I deal with that?
BH-me 32
WW-27
Married 5 yrs. together for 8
D2
D7
D-Day:11/10
EA for a week went PA and WW immediately left home leaving everything behind.
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Not too worried, but a little worried because he has already made threats toward me. How do I deal with that? Well, don't pistol whip him or anything. If you react to his cheap talk, you may end up in jail and he is not worth it. Just remember, OM are world class pansies, so they try to compensate with big talk. Its sort of like the scardy cat who whistles past the grave yard to reassure himself. Just don't let the little pansy annoy you. I would be sure and record his threats. Even if you don't ever need to use them, it would have amusement value.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Not too worried about it. I am licensed and have carried a gun every day for a few years. My concern would be having to defend myself or my family in front of my girls. Good to hear that OM usually just talk a big game. I hate trouble and never go looking for it. Just keep situational awareness in case he is out of the mold. LOL.
Oh well, I guess I just have to work my a$$ off to get one or both of them fired now.
BH-me 32
WW-27
Married 5 yrs. together for 8
D2
D7
D-Day:11/10
EA for a week went PA and WW immediately left home leaving everything behind.
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What kind of gun do you carry? I have a little 9mm Keltec, but our drivers tell me that is a pea shooter and I should get a Colt 44. The thing I like about my 9mm is that I can handle it well. My sister has a sawed off shotgun in her house and she also carries a 9mm.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Right now I am stuck with a full size Glock 22. 15 rounds of .40 S&W. Not too bad in the winter since it stays under my coat.
Used to carry a 9mm Glock 19 in the summer but I sold it when I was getting a sub compact 27 from a friend. This all has put the kabash on that since I need all the $$$ I can get right now.
BH-me 32
WW-27
Married 5 yrs. together for 8
D2
D7
D-Day:11/10
EA for a week went PA and WW immediately left home leaving everything behind.
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Was able to talk to the main person in their building today and told her a lot of stuff that wasnt in the letter. Used a lot of key words with her like sexual harassment and stuff. She is wanting to move on this. She said if WW came forward and talked about it then her job might possibly be spared and all and she would never have to mention my name. But if she confronts both of them she will have to say who called and told.
What do I do? Would WW get over me costing her job?
BH-me 32
WW-27
Married 5 yrs. together for 8
D2
D7
D-Day:11/10
EA for a week went PA and WW immediately left home leaving everything behind.
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Rusty - I think you know enough now to answer your own question. What do you think everyone will advise?
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Was able to talk to the main person in their building today and told her a lot of stuff that wasnt in the letter. Used a lot of key words with her like sexual harassment and stuff. She is wanting to move on this. She said if WW came forward and talked about it then her job might possibly be spared and all and she would never have to mention my name.
What do I do? Would WW get over me costing her job? Ask her to PLEASE make sure they know who it was that exposed them at work. She needs to be sure and mention your name so you can TAKE CREDIT. Stand proud and tall and do not hide like a C*CKROACH. You have nothing to hide! The only ones who have anything to hide are the adulterers. The OM pansy needs to learn that you are not a man to be trifled with and he had better hope you don't get too angry. And you cannot "cost" your WW her job. You don't have that kind of power. If she gets fired, it will be because she had a workplace affair. She made that choice, NOT YOU. Her employer has every right to fire her over this if they choose. Cheaters are enormous workplace risks and many employers won't have them around.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Do you have business cards? One way you can be certain to get the credit for this is to ask the ADMINISTRATOR to give them your business cards, and tell them they can thank you for the workplace exposure.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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k.
This really hurts but I will do it. Should I try to get her to save her job and throw OM to the sharks or just let them both drown?
BH-me 32
WW-27
Married 5 yrs. together for 8
D2
D7
D-Day:11/10
EA for a week went PA and WW immediately left home leaving everything behind.
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Stand tall and proud for doing the RIGHT things to save your marriage.
Keep those negative thoughts at bay. You do not need them cluttering up your mind.
BH - me 53, ONS 1979
FWW - 51, 2 EA's, 1 PA
Last D-Day, Sep. 30, 2003
Last Contact/recovery began 2-26-04
***You can do anything with time and money...but remember...money won't buy you time!***
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k.
This really hurts but I will do it. Should I try to get her to save her job and throw OM to the sharks or just let them both drown? Rusty, I would let the Human Resource Dept do what they have to do and leave it be. The only way you can save your marriage anyway is if she does leave that job, so that would be a blessing.. The sharks here are the adulterers, not the other way around. They hurt many people with their cruelty and selfishness. They placed their employer at great legal risk by doing this. Please keep some perspective on this, the bad guys here are the cheaters, not you and not the employer. You ALL have a right to protect yourselves from their workplace adultery. YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG. Yes, your wife will be angry. But your marriage can survive some temporary anger; it can't survive an affair.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Yes, you are right. I can't make her come back but I cant let any of this continue either.
BH-me 32
WW-27
Married 5 yrs. together for 8
D2
D7
D-Day:11/10
EA for a week went PA and WW immediately left home leaving everything behind.
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It stings when you put anticeptic on an infected cut. But needed to heal.
Exposure at work is needed to kill this affair. Move forward on this ASAP. You did not get WW fired. Her affair and the OM did that.
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I tell her that any time it gets brought up. SHe will say that she is afraid OMW or I will get her fired, and I will say that it will be her that gets herself fired for sleeping with a co-worker.
BH-me 32
WW-27
Married 5 yrs. together for 8
D2
D7
D-Day:11/10
EA for a week went PA and WW immediately left home leaving everything behind.
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Stop discussing exposure. Exposure is what the BS does, it is an action to take to end the affair.
Why do you think your WW is trying to get you not to expose at work? Not to end her affair. WW is just doing damage control to keep you from taking action to end her affair.
Again, do not talk exposure to the WW, it is an action to be done by the BH. Without prior warning.
Expose at work. Now.
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Stop discussing exposure. Exposure is what the BS does, it is an action to take to end the affair.
Why do you think your WW is trying to get you not to expose at work? Not to end her affair. WW is just doing damage control to keep you from taking action to end her affair.
Again, do not talk exposure to the WW, it is an action to be done by the BH. Without prior warning.
Expose at work. Now. Oh, I dont. SHe has just talked with me about her fears of it. I exposed the crap out of her work today. Talked to the main person for thirty minutes.
BH-me 32
WW-27
Married 5 yrs. together for 8
D2
D7
D-Day:11/10
EA for a week went PA and WW immediately left home leaving everything behind.
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I exposed the crap out of her work today. Talked to the main person for thirty minutes. Prepare to have a TON of venom slung at you. And just know that it's the same thing most WS's do when their BS's expose.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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