You've been walking the high road, CL. It's not easy, but I'm confident you'll continue to do it with strength and grace. If you have to be around WH, I would try to think of him in terms of pity. It's tragic what he has done to himself and you and DD. Someday he'll figure it out.

You'll be on to something much, much better.

Thanks so much for the tips. Charlotte, thanks especially for the tip on looking at his attorney. I never would have thought of that.

My atty is a big, bald guy. Kind of like Mr. Clean in a Dior suit. I'm 5'4" and about 112 lbs, so it shouldn't be too hard to use him as a blockade. WH isn't much bigger than me, so maybe my atty will intimidate him a little and he won't want to look our way. My luck, WH's atty will look like Jesse Ventura and scare the cr@p out of my atty. That's all I need.

And you know, I do know that I tried. I tried to right my past wrongs that led to the state of the M, and I tried to make it a better M but it was just too late I guess. At this point, the only thing that I can say for sure is that if I ever end up M again, it will be awesome because I won't ever consider anyone who does not buy into the MB way.

AMEN!!!!

You better believe the next husband will know about MB. Even The Diplomat knows. He's probably better than I will ever be with it.

Chai, as for court, you'll do fine. Stay on the far side of your attorney without making it obvious. In fact, attorneys may be used to that. I think that was how we naturally arranged ourselves when I went to court.

In fact, when we arrived, we were a contested case scheduled for a real trial. We ended up negotiating the final items before our trial time and went in as uncontested. The attorneys pretty much kept us away from each other.

It won't be fun but you will survive.

Thanks Cinder. I am going to call my atty in the morning and ask him to wait for me outside. I don't know why but this is scaring the h3ll out of me. I'm so afraid of undoing all of the healing that I have done this past year.

REALLY? I imagined him to be about 6'2" and husky. Not sure why....

Remember Chai, I was scared to death to face WH in court. And you know what, he didn't effect me or my plan b at all. I avoided him, and noticed him trying to shake me up,and it DIDN'T work.

You are the one who has done the work to heal. He is the IDIOT monster who is really the one who needs to be ashamed. You are the GODDESS.

Mimi says, HEAD UP, CHEST OUT, SMILE ON, AND GO GET HIM.....

I sat right next to WH in court while we were waiting for our case to be called. He was texting OW like crazy the whole time. I just leaned toward him and said, "Tell her I said hi."

That was a moment where I even impressed myself. Calm, cool and collected is the way to go.

Queenie,

No, WH is about 5'7" and around 140-150lbs. Not a big guy at all. Very deep voice though, so if you heard him but didn't see him you would think he was the Hulk.

SL77, I hope I can be as cool as you were. I really don't have much to say to him, but I thought if I found myself in a situation where I HAD to talk I would just tell him that I was sorry about the heart attack and glad he is OK. Back to Plan B after that....

Well, I'll let you all know how it went when I get on tomorrow evening....

Wow Chai, I am blown away. What a scum bag he is....

No need to wish you luck, because it's G-ds blessings that give you the real strength and perserverance to make it through tomorrow.

Remember, we are ALL there with you in heart, soul and strength of prayer together....

I have a couple of quotes for you:

From the original Dinotopia books: "Breathe deep. Seek peace."

From Ann Patchett's presentation at the 2008 Southern Festival of Books: "Stand up straight, put your shoulders back, walk into the room, and act like you know what you're doing."


And, one more thing:

From Isaiah 54:

4 "Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame.
Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.
You will forget the shame of your youth
and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.

5 For your Maker is your husband--
the LORD Almighty is his name--
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
he is called the God of all the earth.

6 The LORD will call you back
as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit--
a wife who married young,
only to be rejected," says your God.

7 "For a brief moment I abandoned you,
but with deep compassion I will bring you back.

8 In a surge of anger
I hid my face from you for a moment,
but with everlasting kindness
I will have compassion on you,"
says the LORD your Redeemer.

9 "To me this is like the days of Noah,
when I swore that the waters of Noah would never again
cover the earth.
So now I have sworn not to be angry with you,
never to rebuke you again.

10 Though the mountains be shaken
and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
nor my covenant of peace be removed,"
says the LORD, who has compassion on you.

11 "O afflicted city, lashed by storms and not comforted,
I will build you with stones of turquoise,
your foundations with sapphires.

12 I will make your battlements of rubies,
your gates of sparkling jewels,
and all your walls of precious stones.

13 All your sons will be taught by the LORD,
and great will be your children's peace.

14 In righteousness you will be established:
Tyranny will be far from you;
you will have nothing to fear.
Terror will be far removed;
it will not come near you.

15 If anyone does attack you, it will not be my doing;
whoever attacks you will surrender to you.


(I include the loss of your spouse in divorce to fit in here.)

You're welcome!







True. Hey cool! You are only an inch taller than me!








I'm sorry...I just gotta say it! If Gray's attorney looked like Jesse Ventura it wouldn't matter. Shiny would still scare the crap out of HIM!!




Yep. True. Well, I guess that some WS's...like yours and mine...just can't get past the fact that a female got the best of them...at least in THEIR view. I think that's a big problem for Gray. Of course now...Shiny keeps getting the best of Gray AND his "gurrrrrl-frayund," so that kinda keeps it--(the resentment)--going, I guess! I don't care, really. I'm glad that Shiny can be angry for me because I just don't HAVE any anger towards Gray...Slag pisses me off because of the way she treats OWH, though. I should be angry, I really should--he insists on us going through the court to get this meter box fixed and it IS a fire hazard--my Mom said she was going to call the Fire Marshall already, she's so worried and p.o.'ed about it. But me? Nuttin'. I just think he's acting childish and he's the one who will end up getting hurt by it...unless of course the house catches on fire and I burn up! THEN I will hurt. And die.


Thass raht, Sissa!

Personally, I don't care to get married again at this point. Or ever. Someone would have to do some Major League talkin' to talk me into THAT again!

We'll all be pulling for you when you are in court. Just think about us here...we'll be thinking about you! That really helped me the first time I had to go to court, everyone here leading the cheers of support!!

You'll be AWESOME!!

Charlotte

Chai,

Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you today! We are all right behind you!!!

You are going to do Fabulous today! Lots of good advice,,,, cool, calm, chin up, chest out, smile on,,,,,, and I will add to start early on putting on your Goddess Attitude! Nothing can touch a Goddess when she is in True Diva Form!!

Chai

Chai, prayers of protection going up for you today. I'm praying that your heart is protected, your finances are protected, and your emotions are protected from any attempts by WH to get to you.

You'll be fine. We'll be here waiting for you.

Chai,

Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you, too.

One thing about court is it is sometimes the ONLY time that waywards have to actually FACE what they have done. It isn't US they are facing - it is the outside world.

Even though most times infidelity cannot be brought up or considered, your WH KNOWS that is why you both are there.

Sending up prayers and good thoughts for you today.

Fox

Your healing cannot be undone.
Your emotions can be touched. You're human.

You are about to discover what an awesome steel magnolia you are

I have said prayers for you this morning. It is not a wonderful thing to go through this. I know that and you know that. But, you will survive. Today's events may 'pick at the scab on your wounds' but it won't undo your healing.

You are a strong woman. You should not let that fact elude you.

May you be protected and upheld today. May you know that God in Heaven loves you and cares for you. May you emerge valiant and victorious in your efforts to behave as His daughter.

Hi CL,

Sorry CL I wasn't able to post to you before. I had computer problems on home computer and didn't have access to the Board. Don't know your time zone, but I suspect you may be in Court right now... if so, sending you my 'positive vibes' whether you know it or not. Looking forward to your update about it.


Although this also resonates with me, too, I think Cind is right...


....and like everything else...you will surprise yourself!

CL

Chai,

Where are you? HOW are YOU?

Hoping your day went well, CL. . . .

Hi all,

First, thanks to all of you for the words of encouragement. It really means a lot to me.

Let me start at the beginning. I got up, got dressed in Goddess mode, put on my best makeup and did my hair. I did a little "big hair" thing this morning by accident,but it looked OK so I left it.

I really felt pretty good. So I go off to the shop to check on things before I go, and I open an email from my ex-SIL. It seems that my DD invited her to the shower even after I asked her NOT to do that. So the letter started out telling me how she wouldn't come, that a baby shower should be a joyous event blah blah blah... Well, I immediately broke into tears and could not stop crying. There goes the perfect makeup job. D@mn. The girl who works for me gave me big hugs and convinced me to take one of her Xantacs (sp?). I almost never take anything, but by this time I would have taken rat poision had it been available. I took 1/2 the pill, and within 20 minutes I had stopped crying and felt pretty good - that was until I started feeling drunk. Could barely walk and the room was spinning.. We decided that it was probably because I had taken the pill on an empty stomach.

So she goes to get me something to eat, and it took a while but I felt much better. I then left for court.

I walked into a long hallway with benches on both sides. I went down to the last bench and sat. About 10 min later I look to see WH walk in. I almost didn't recognize him. He had gained a lot of weight, his hair and moustache were white, and he was limping. I think he saw me but he sat down on a bench about 4 benches down from me. I took Bugs suggestion and pulled out my pad and started writing - anything that came to mind. Xmas music was playing on the musak, which sometimes made me sad.

My atty came, we talked, then he and WH's atty went into a room for about 10 minutes. I just kept writing with my back to WH. Attys came out and went into see the judge. I kept writing. When they came out from the judge, my atty said let's talk. He nodded to wait a minute until WH and his atty walked by us. WH didn't look at me - walked right by and into a room. He was limping pretty badly.

Anyway, bottom line is that WH claims that I have money hidden. What a joke. He says that I am the trustee of a trust fund. My atty and I laughed. When I bought the condo, I had to put it into a trust to avoid having WH sign, and also to disallow him to have any claim against it. That is the trust fund that I am trustee of. Also, he had an article that the paper did on my business, and it stated that I made an investment in the move. That investment was money that I withdrew from my 401K to pay for signs, check out counter, lighting etc. My atty also knows about that. So bottom line is that WH ans his atty are claiming that I have money hidden and they need 2 months to find it.

So now I have to fill out yet more paperwork trying to prove I don't have money in a Swiss bank account, yet WH is not producing anything accounting for the money he gave OP. My atty says he has to do that.

The good news is that I looked at him with pity. The fact that I hardly recognized him helped keep me from hurting too. He just seemed like a stranger walking by.

I'm OK. Not OK with the fact that this is going to drag on and on. Not sure how I will afford this though. Atty wants another $1500. UGH

That was my day in court.....

Well not exactly what we hoped for in the direction of moving forward and finalizing.

But what a personal SUCCESS for the TRUE GODDESS inside that you have become. You did GREAT.....

Knowing your voice I am laughing my heart out imagining you describe the pills and your reaction to them. I really think you need to seriously consider stand up comedy.

Did the A give you an idea how WH would be pressured to provide the information you are looking for and what happens if he doesn't.

Under the circumstances, to me it looks like you couldn't have done any better. I'm so proud to know you and how you took care of things today.