Hi, KA:

I think I just wrote my strongest desire to work on right now in my last post - sort of stumbled in backwards - and it is definitely exercise, so a little bit like yours. I've struggled with a weight problem too - typically run 30 pounds higher than I should - although I must admit things are a bit better after several months on the "infidelity diet". However, I'm getting past that now and starting to creep back up.

The bigger issue really is not the weight, but the disruption in exercise that all of this craziness led to. No one to blame there but me. I exercised very intermittently through pre-Plan A hell, and a bit more in Plan A - but nothing like before D-Day, and nothing at all in the past month. Yet I know I feel better, look better, can gradually lose weight, sleep better, experience less joint pain - all from about 45 minutes a day, 5 days a week.

So that's it. That's my number one thing right now. Followed close on the heels by the getting out and doing ANYTHING with friends thing (liked that, AMAZIN'!)

- M

Miriam - I have my own Heifers International. For the last 4 years, I have been buying cows in Mexico. It started out with 2, and now it is up to 14. I get lots of pleasure from them.

Ok Believer - you have now influenced my dreams! I was on a vacation into the wilderness - like Yellowstone or Glacier - don't know - but I had cows in my camper! (I grew up on a farm, so I am not talking about the nice decorative kind!) But they did have beautiful brown eyes and sweet brown faces (not those big hulking black and whites!)

Anyway - Thinking about what to put on the menu today - I have some lemon poppyseed muffins and some Yogi teas. I've been enjoying "Think and Grow Rich" a bit.

For those of you dealing with running out of energy, may I recommend the "Toughness Training for Life" book by Jim Loehr?

Lots of good information about pacing yourself like an athlete throughout your day, as well as diet and exercise tips... Good stuff!

idey58 needs plan B support :happyhanukkah: :MerryChristmas: :happynewyear:

I love cows. I used to ride quarter horses and practice cutting cows with a herd down the road from the barn. They are so cool - they're just totally in the moment and with each other. Nothing more serene than a cow with other cows around it on a summer morning.

And nothing crazier/running-at-full-speed-where-the-others-are-going-don't-ask-me-look-out-I'm gonna-run-you-into-that-tree when they spook!

Miriam - I love cows too. Mine (in Mexico) look like Brahma bulls- with humps and all. I've been researching and they originally came from India - the weather in Southern Mexico is very hot and they do well there.

Other than that, today was a good day. I went to Walmart and bought 10 sleeping bags and some plastic covers to give to the Mexican field workers here. Went out into the fields and gave them away. The guys were so appreciative.

Yes, this is Southern California, but we are in the midst of a storm. Yesterday it poured, today was clear, and tomorrow the big one comes in. It is COLD for us (I know, I'm whining).

Hope all of the Plan B'ers are hanging in there and enjoying the holidays.

This is a good time of year to be in Plan B, even though it may feel miserable. On the OW board, there is a phenomena they call "the holiday disappearing act". It is going on right now and will continue through the end of the year. Often the stress and memories of the season trigger the WS to miss home, and they just suddenly "disappear" from the OP's life, without saying a word.

Yeah I heard about this from a friend whos mother went through this but then come January he would leave again. No thanks! I Want conditions Damm1t!!!!

Yes, there is the danger of false recoveries, but many real recoveries too. The holidays are much harder on the WS than the BS, believe it or not.

Weather here is still rainy, so I'm starting to make tamales. Good project because it takes most of the day.

MMMM I'm coming to eat some! My parents live in the high desert and they have snow which only comes about every 10 years if we lucky. No snow here tho were too close to sea level.

Eat some tamales for me!!

I'm new to plan C (Can't do Plan B due to a Controlling WH)

I'm desperately trying to establish boundaries and my aggressive/controlling WH is not appreciative of them at all. (if you want a laugh, visit my thread)

But, I'm sticking with it! I was actually reading "Boundaries" last night in the bath before the WH action and it has a special section on Boundaries and Spouses which is amazing. Really, if you haven't read it and you feel that your life is not what it should be due to a lack of boundaries, READ IT. It is very closely aligned to MB principles, ie. cut them out until they are ready to meet your boundaries for your self worth etc, and there are many more.

It's a biblical treatment of boundaries and was given to me when I got married by my old pastor and his wife. If only I had read it back then!!!

I wish I had the book her to quote for you all. See Store website

Add it to the coffee table please KaylaAndy!!

2much - Cloud and Townsend's Boundaries is a wonderful book. I read it in my women's bible study group, and there was a video and study book that went with it.

I had boundaries on CD and listened to it on the way to work. It's kind of a conveinient way to get the info when you have a 45 drive to work. I also have the book.

Two of my sisters read this book a long time ago at the same time .... by chance.

When they got together for a visit one sister said... I'm reading this book you need to read.... My other sister said me too... what is it?.... LOL... They laughed and laughed becuase my whole family seems to have boundary problems. My mother was a good christian woman who had a merciful streak. But that mercy streak seems to be a terrible trait when it comes to boundaries. I think most of my siblings inherited that mercy trait.

Amazin - Good point - a lot of us christian's don't get the boundary thing. We turn the other cheek, treat other's like we would want to be treated, etc.

But the Boundaries book puts it all in perspective. As I recall, we are called to carry our brother's burden (which means things that they are unable to do), but we are not called to carry our brother's load (their basic responsibilities).

2Much - I loved the part in Boundaries where they instruct you to say "NO" and see if someone loves you enough to respect it - the person who loves you will honor that request. The other will abuse you until YOU back down from your "NO".

It was eye-opening to see "LOVE" defined so simply.

Boundaries is definitely out on the table, along with another book they wrote called "Safe People" - excellent book!

Its taken my a while to realise that boundaries are necessary.
In the past I would do and say things just "to keep the peace"
Now I realise its the worst way to behave.

I know my WH regards my PBL as me trying to control the situation...all I'm controlling is my boundaries as I see it...whats best for me in these circumstances....

Do they ever see plan B for what it really is meant to portray?

That's kind of interesting. My WW tried contacting me the Monday after Thanksgiving weekend. She wanted to have a face to face to negotiate the terms of our divorce. I posted her email on my thread and Wildhorses74 did a great job of deciphering her fog babble.

After months of silence I wonder why she chose that weekend to contact me?

Hello fellow Plan B'ers. Today wasn't a good day for me. WH and I met 20 years ago today so all those memories are flooding in. I remember very well the first time I met him, 4 days later he was going back home for Christmas and by then I was in love, sure that I had met the man of my life. What a shame we've arrived here!

Last week I considered posting on this thread....

...but I was 'ashamed' of my record...and worried it could scare off newbie Plan Bers!

This week I am 'proud' of my record...

PLAN B?

Simply put...a lifesaver!

Newbie Plan Bers....take note....my 'record' is not 'typical'... do not despair...

...yours truly just wants to stand up and be counted...

Tully - so sorry today is a bad day for you. Hang in there and do something nice for YOU.

Luna - Glad to see you here.