Yes, I still like mine. I like the same things about him I did before, and I like his basic goodness...how he will struggle and work to repair things between us, rather than just leave. He may be confused, and in pain, but is still the same man at heart.

Hmmm,<P>Interesting question. Think I need to answer it in two parts.<P>1. I still love my ex with all my heart, but I question if I am in love with her from a romantic standpoint. I know it could come back, but it is not there now.<P>2. Do I like her? At this point she is not the person I know. She is a very cold, inconsiderate person who only things about herself. 180 degrees from her old self. I do not like this person.<P>As I said the other day, I returned an expensive piece of electronic equipment I bought her for Christmas. The store ususally only provides credit for 30 days, and it was closer to 60. The guy asked why I took so long to return it and I said it was a present for my girlfriend, who past away. To me that was 100% true.

Hi acacia,<P>I am only into this affair business for about 6 weeks. <P>I love my husband very much. I don't like him very much right now. But tomorrow with our roller coaster, I probably will like him again. <P>I will always love him in some way. But my love is diminishing real quick. I am seeing a side to him I never knew. This OW has a way of bringing out his worst side.<P>I don't like the fact that my answer changes daily depending on his mood and his state of confusion.<P>Even today he told me he loves me but is filing for a divorce. Thanks a lot!! For ten years, three kids, a totally devoted wife that is a nice thing to say.<P>Good luck!!

I still like my husband, or at least the person he used to be. Over the last year he has become quite a proficient liar, but before that he was wonderful. It hurts so much to remember who he used to be and then to realize what he has become. I can only hope he sees the light and decides to find his way back to the man I knew and still love.

I liked Moira2's idea. I think no matter what the situation...we all seem to have somewhere lost that loving feeling. Love is such a Really BIG word. I've seen us discuss romantic love and emotional love. Showing love comes in many forms. Plan A talks about not Lovebusting. Which can be really hard not to do at times- I'm sure we can all agree. But, Moira2 did something special with her H...she shared her feelings. And, she got a GREAT response. <P>I too have tried this writing out my feelings to my H. It really works when you only write how you feel- not place blame and not offend. Most of us discuss how we are unable to really communicate with our spouses. My H and I have read several books on how to communicate better. But, we've found writing our feelings within this format has worked the best. I was WOW'd to find out the things I had assumed -weren't correct. He actually felt much different than I expected. I even found out we were talking about the same things on certain topics....we just couldn't allow ourselves to easily fall out of our defense mechanisms to actually understand each other. Writing has put us on the road of recovery.<P>I know it takes two to tango, but one of you needs to be the first to take that baby step. And, you might not always like the response back, BUT- they'll dwell on it and they'll come around. I did insist my H write his feelings back- I didn't want to discuss them...we'd just argure. It worked for us.<P>I pray that we can all find good communication techniques and practice them. That is what Mature love is all about- communication. I truely believe those who are involved in affairs do live in fantasy land where there aren't discussions/arguements about mortgage payments, screaming kids to drive to after school activities, household chores to be divided up, house repairs, etc....... Geez- how easy communication would be if you weren't ............<BR> <BR>It's nice too not to be lonely anymore. (not that we don't have a ways to go- but it sure beat Plan B!)<P>Just try it.<BR>

<BR>It is comforting to know that you are all out there to share this with. I don't think you can understand unless you are going through it too.<P>Acacia

No, I don't like the person that she is now. She is thoroughly confused. She sends mixed signals now that they are broken up. She depends on me for financial support (we have split the bills and she is still spending more that she is bringing in even though she makes about$600 more than her portion of the bills.)<P>I had to cover her today. I didn't complain even though I wanted to. Had a long cry over lunch break today. It hurts so incredibly bad to love her as much as I do and she treat herself, the boys, and me the way she does. <P>Enough rambling, kinda down today.<P>------------------<BR><B><I>God Bless,<BR>Rob</I></B><BR> regilmor@swbell.net