Good job! It is better that the kids know what is happening.

Next, protect your family finances. Is he supporting the family and paying the bills?

He was drawing unemployment which just started about 2 weeks ago. He is doing side jobs for people right now too. It amazes me how things changed so quickly. He went from having a good decent job to not having one at all. I still do not know what happened with that situation, he was there for about 6 years. I don't know if he was fired, quit, or laid off. I would imagine either fired or laid off since he is drawing unemployment.

I have set myself up another account. The joint account we had was for bills and things etc. He usualy gets paid cash of these side jobs and the thing is he can tell me he made this amount of money when in fact he made more than he is willing to tell me, and instead of it going for bills he takes the rest and spends on her.

I take care of the bills and do online banking etc. He knows I check these things. He had told me last week he took some money out and told me how much for his mother for Xmas, come to find out he took more money out than he had told me, and knew I would know since I check the banking and it shows up. What he id I'm sure is, took more money out than he told me to buy her OW something is my guess. he lives at his dads right now and pays nothing there. I work too, but I don't make alot and the money I make more so goes towards the car payment and daycare for our youngest, and groceries etc. We are very behind on the house payment and other bills as well. We've were advised by the lawyer to file chapter 13.

I was also told to close this joint account we have because as long as his name is still on it and its open, he not only have access to deposit but to withdraw as well. So any money he gives me he can either give me cash or write a check, for me to deposit in this other account. He is NOT going to take money from an account to support or buy her things.

YIKES! What a time to choose to have an affair!

Do whatever the attorney advised you about filing Chapter 13. That is the one where you have to pay the money back, right? Anyway, I would try to protect the house. You need to live somewhere.

They showed no emotion, but they have emotions. They need to be reminded that they are loved and this is NOT their fault. They did nothing wrong to drive him away. It is a child's nature to blame themselves when things go wrong.

Sorry didn't mean to make it sound like they were robots sitting there. That's not what I meant, but when I say no emotion, I mean no crying, no angry faces, no smiling, just istting there listening. They were reminded they were loved and cared for. Its one of the first things that came out of my mouth, they were also told it was not their fault.

When we went to dinner with my sister they were laughing and cutting up with her kids. I'm sure at some point they may have questions, and that right now they are trying to absorb it all.

Yes, well he has defintely done some things that have been out of character. Like for example, buying a new dodge durrango two weeks after losing his job. He still has it, its in his name and he is not able to make the payments like he should, so from my understanding that will be a goner, and can't believe its not been already. I'm sure he might be having some help from his mother or dad, but they can't keep paying it for him and already told him.

I just wanted to be sure you knew, not criticize anything you were doing. You sound like a great mother!

I completely understand what you mean, I didn't take it as a criticize.

I think you did the right thing. I also think its all you need to do for now with that. Let what you've said so far soak in. Hang in there!