Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 20 of 36 1 2 18 19 20 21 22 35 36
CuthbertCalculus #2184001 12/29/08 09:18 PM
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 546
R
Member
Member
R Offline
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 546
I almost let the Seinfeld thing get by me.


BH-me 32
WW-27
Married 5 yrs. together for 8
D2
D7
D-Day:11/10
EA for a week went PA and WW immediately left home leaving everything behind.
rustyshackelford #2184007 12/29/08 09:33 PM
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
T
Member
Member
T Offline
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
Doing a plan A is not being a doormat.

Being one of the many BH's that come here and refuse to follow advice and take action such as exposure are the doormats.

TheRoad #2184019 12/29/08 10:04 PM
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 546
R
Member
Member
R Offline
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 546
I have followed advice and exposed.


BH-me 32
WW-27
Married 5 yrs. together for 8
D2
D7
D-Day:11/10
EA for a week went PA and WW immediately left home leaving everything behind.
rustyshackelford #2184045 12/29/08 11:22 PM
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,959
S
Member
Member
S Offline
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,959
Rusty, you've got moxie!

Give those kids all the love they deserve! Your WW has no idea how much she may lose on one very ill-conceived decision.

Stay positive!


BH - me 53, ONS 1979
FWW - 51, 2 EA's, 1 PA
Last D-Day, Sep. 30, 2003
Last Contact/recovery began 2-26-04

***You can do anything with time and money...but remember...money won't buy you time!***
shattered dreams #2184051 12/29/08 11:34 PM
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 546
R
Member
Member
R Offline
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 546
Will do SD.


BH-me 32
WW-27
Married 5 yrs. together for 8
D2
D7
D-Day:11/10
EA for a week went PA and WW immediately left home leaving everything behind.
rustyshackelford #2184980 12/31/08 01:46 PM
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 546
R
Member
Member
R Offline
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 546
In the "circle" of people at wok that knew about the adultery was WW, OM and WW friend. WW found out that "friend" had told a couple of people about it. This morning WW went to the office, denied whatever they were going to hear and then proceded to try to get her friend fired. What will they do? lol


BH-me 32
WW-27
Married 5 yrs. together for 8
D2
D7
D-Day:11/10
EA for a week went PA and WW immediately left home leaving everything behind.
rustyshackelford #2185001 12/31/08 02:12 PM
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,959
S
Member
Member
S Offline
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,959
Exposure and friends with loose lips make the affair world get smaller and more uncomfortable with each passing day.

I have a feeling your WW's fantasy world is about to fall apart!



BH - me 53, ONS 1979
FWW - 51, 2 EA's, 1 PA
Last D-Day, Sep. 30, 2003
Last Contact/recovery began 2-26-04

***You can do anything with time and money...but remember...money won't buy you time!***
shattered dreams #2185007 12/31/08 02:16 PM
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 546
R
Member
Member
R Offline
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 546
Sounds good to me SD.

Just so you all know, unless I ask about something...like if he tried to contact WW she is not allowed to mention ANYTHING about him in front of me. At ALL. She tried to tell a story yesterday that he was just involved in a few weks before and I told her that I wouldnt stand for it.


BH-me 32
WW-27
Married 5 yrs. together for 8
D2
D7
D-Day:11/10
EA for a week went PA and WW immediately left home leaving everything behind.
rustyshackelford #2185084 12/31/08 04:24 PM
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,959
S
Member
Member
S Offline
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,959
And if she stands by that boundary, then she is showing you some respect. That's a step forward. Bask a moment in the progress, keeping one eye open for the unexpected!


BH - me 53, ONS 1979
FWW - 51, 2 EA's, 1 PA
Last D-Day, Sep. 30, 2003
Last Contact/recovery began 2-26-04

***You can do anything with time and money...but remember...money won't buy you time!***
shattered dreams #2186160 01/02/09 08:29 PM
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,959
S
Member
Member
S Offline
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,959
RS

How are you holding up over the holidays?

Any change due to the latest exposure?

Any signs of softening from your WW?

We'd love an update if you have the time and/or anything to report...thanks!


BH - me 53, ONS 1979
FWW - 51, 2 EA's, 1 PA
Last D-Day, Sep. 30, 2003
Last Contact/recovery began 2-26-04

***You can do anything with time and money...but remember...money won't buy you time!***
shattered dreams #2186247 01/02/09 11:20 PM
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 546
R
Member
Member
R Offline
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 546
Not really anything much going on right now. Been really studying mortarman's stuff and reading books. Working on me and showing myself off to her when I have the opportunity.


BH-me 32
WW-27
Married 5 yrs. together for 8
D2
D7
D-Day:11/10
EA for a week went PA and WW immediately left home leaving everything behind.
rustyshackelford #2186252 01/02/09 11:27 PM
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
Member
Member
P Offline
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Originally Posted by rustyshackelford
Not really anything much going on right now. Been really studying mortarman's stuff and reading books. Working on me and showing myself off to her when I have the opportunity.

This will pay you dividends - no matter what happens to your marriage.

hurray

Pepperband #2186256 01/02/09 11:33 PM
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 546
R
Member
Member
R Offline
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 546
Yep.

D7 birthday is Sunday so I have got stuff to do there(technically she's 6 until Sunday but who's counting).

She told my mom the other night that she would really like a party at school and it to be a surprise so we got things squared away to have her something Monday at school too. She will be so excited.


BH-me 32
WW-27
Married 5 yrs. together for 8
D2
D7
D-Day:11/10
EA for a week went PA and WW immediately left home leaving everything behind.
rustyshackelford #2186981 01/04/09 12:09 PM
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 546
R
Member
Member
R Offline
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 546
WW called me this morning on her way home from work. She small talked a little bit and when I asked her about work she just started talking and wouldnt quit. Her rel friend she has at work was sitting outside last night when OM and a friend came outside. He didnt notice her and was bragging to his friend about how many girls he had on the side. WW friend went in and told her about it and that crushed WW because he had been telling her she's the only one(besides his wife), she's special, you know the lines POSOM uses. lol

Then for the first time WW started talking about the wrong decisions she has made with him and stuff. Maybe the worm has finally started to turn and she will fully realize what she has done.


BH-me 32
WW-27
Married 5 yrs. together for 8
D2
D7
D-Day:11/10
EA for a week went PA and WW immediately left home leaving everything behind.
rustyshackelford #2186982 01/04/09 12:22 PM
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
Member
Member
P Offline
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
It's a rude awakening for the married WW when she realizes she is a piece of ash.

When WW *t h o u g h t* she and OM were soulmates - she discovers she's his solemeat.

Be the lighthouse.

Last edited by Pepperband; 01/04/09 12:27 PM. Reason: spelling nazi
Pepperband #2186984 01/04/09 12:28 PM
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 546
R
Member
Member
R Offline
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 546
She is trying to tell me she isnt hurt by it...but I know. I seen the love letter she wrote to him when I found it after the dog strowed her purse.

She told me that she knew inside but pushed that away because she wanted so desperately to believe him.

As for the lighthouse, I just hope I dont attract women from Venus because I am shining so bright. lol

What does happen, though is she always seems to turn to me when she is hurting. Makes it kind of hard on me to southe her hurting when I have my own but that is what I do.


BH-me 32
WW-27
Married 5 yrs. together for 8
D2
D7
D-Day:11/10
EA for a week went PA and WW immediately left home leaving everything behind.
rustyshackelford #2186985 01/04/09 12:31 PM
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
Member
Member
P Offline
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Originally Posted by rustyshackelford
What does happen, though is she always seems to turn to me when she is hurting. Makes it kind of hard on me to southe her hurting when I have my own but that is what I do.

Have you ever wondered if WW feels you don't (deep down) NEED her?

Have you ever wondered if asking WW to soothe your hurts would emotionally draw her closer to you?

Pepperband #2186988 01/04/09 12:35 PM
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
Member
Member
P Offline
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Hold it - I wanted to make something more clear.

You DESIRE your wife (as opposed to "need"). Does she know that?
You welcome and desire her warmth and care when you are in pain. Does she know that?

Have you asked her to comfort you when you are in pain?

Pepperband #2186989 01/04/09 12:37 PM
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 546
R
Member
Member
R Offline
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 546
I think it is actually tho other way around. I think she needs me more than she thinks I need her. I dont *need* her, if she left forever tomorrow then I would be hurt but my heart would continue to beat...I would still live. She does need somebody, though. She has spent her life trying to fill holes in her soul that are empty. I cannot fill those holes for her permaently, I can only plug them up until I help her to heal them herself.

But anyways...

ETA: you beat me to it.

Last edited by rustyshackelford; 01/04/09 12:37 PM.

BH-me 32
WW-27
Married 5 yrs. together for 8
D2
D7
D-Day:11/10
EA for a week went PA and WW immediately left home leaving everything behind.
rustyshackelford #2186991 01/04/09 12:38 PM
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
Member
Member
P Offline
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Quote
She does need somebody, though. She has spent her life trying to fill holes in her soul that are empty. I cannot fill those holes for her permaently, I can only plug them up until I help her to heal them herself.

totally agree

Page 20 of 36 1 2 18 19 20 21 22 35 36

Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 354 guests, and 257 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
louischan, elongrimer, finnbentley, implementsheep, rafaelakutch
72,046 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Three Times A Charm
by still seeking - 08/09/25 01:31 PM
How important is it to get the whole story?
by still seeking - 07/24/25 01:29 AM
Annulment reconsideration help
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:05 PM
Help: I Don't Like Being Around My Wife
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:01 PM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,525
Members72,047
Most Online8,273
17 hours ago
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0