I understand all you are saying. Last night was another bad night. All she kept mentioning was going to the party. She said I want to do somethign with you and I want youo to have fun. I told her that going out and drinking is not my idea of fun anymore. My idea of fun is spending the evening with the kids. She said you are not going to get my kids. i said excuse me. Your kids, what are you saying with my kids, should I be questioning that as well. She kept refering to the girls as my kids like they do not belong to me. I also told her as long as OM is in the picture and she is txtng OM I will not be going anywhere with her and walked away. Again this morning she mentioned the party. I told her if she wanted to go then go ahead and have a good time. I will spend the evening the the kids.

She seems obsessed with the party.

I wonder why.

And the "my girls" thing is her tinkling on the girls to mark her territory.

Ironic thing...people who CARE about the welfare of their children DO NOT drive with them in the car when they've been drinking.

I agree ... she OBVIOUSLY wants to go to this party BAD.

hf,

Good job on your responses to WW. My guess is she will go without you.

Do you have a friend who will be attending the party that you can trust?

If so, maybe you can contact them today and have them give you a couple of updates during the evening about (1) whether your WW is even at the party (or took an extended absence) or (2) her level of intoxication or (3) if she seems to be "on the prowl" for OM3.

With this info you can make a fully informed decision about what your next move would be.

Hang tough, guy ... I know this has to be killing you inside, but stay FOCUSED on your plan. This evening may be very painful, but it could also be GOLDEN for your ultimate goal.

I totally agree. She was talking about the kids like they did not belong to me. I asked her do I need to be questioning that as well. There was so much said last night. I am so tired of all of this mess. All conversations come back to John. She is so TO that I told the kids about this guy. The she will say I am not having an affair we are just friends. The I said yes you are just look at it. You have a loving husband at home taking care of 3 girls while you are out partying and hanging all over him, and can not even call your husband who cares about you to come get you. No. You made the decision to have your boyfriend follow you home like he could protect you. She said I made a terrible mistake. I said I am so tired of the terrible mistakes. The the conversation gets into everything else that has gone on over the past year with OM1. Then it gets back to I only danced with John once, and I said that is 1 time to many. 3 people in a marriage is 1 to many. Then she said I would not care if you danced with another woman because I trust you. I said you have no reason not to trust me for 1. I would not do it anyway and for 2. it is wrong for married people to be out partying alone and I do not do that either, and 3. I am not the one chasing around all of these OM. I then told her that she does not act like she is married or even carry herself liek she is. I talked about how much I was doing around the house and how much time I would spend playing with the girls while she would set in the chair and text him all night long. I then talked about all of the lies, hiding, secrets. I told her that everythign in a marriage should be transparent. But in the end none of it matters to her. You can not reason with someone hin her mindset. Then I went to bed. Later she comes to bed holding all over me. This morning she tried to get in the shower with me, and left me a note and a message. Now she is trying to email me about the party again.

Thanks! It is tearing me apart inside and I am trying to stay tuff. If youread my last post that is what happened last night. There is no reasoning with her. I hope like he77 when she is served that she sees what a terrible mistake she has made. The kids are the ones that I worry about the most. Yeah it will take me a few years to get over all of this, but them I am scared for.

I do not have anyone at the party I can trust. I do not know who to trust at this point. I don't know how many of our old friends know about this.

She kinda sounds like she's about to have some sort of breakdown. Are you sure she's not on drugs?

Why haven't you exposed to them? Are they going to be at the party? Then call them up today and tell them what she's been doing!!!!

How about re-employing your PI for tonight?

She seems he11-bent on doing something stupid ... it would be good if you could document whatever that stupidity may be.

ITA.

And her pushing you to go to the party...d'ya know if John will be there?

I think she's trying to set up a confrontation of some sort.

STAY HOME...or, better yet, take your littles to you mom's...at least you'd all be safe from druken mommy...

Is she a sloppy drunk? By that I mean, does she get all sappy or does she get all mean?

Can you hire the PI? I think it'd be worth the $$.

I have wondered about that to. I have noticed a lot of changes and she has lost a lot of weight. Does not eat much. I have though about having the k9 unit come and sniff the house.

these are friends from college that I have not seen in quit a few years.

I could do that, but he would have no way of getting in the party. It would be to obvious I think.

The last itme I went to a party like this with her. I had to carry her and put her in the truck. Then I had to carry her in the house and help her get undressed. Then later I had to pick her up off the bathroom floor because she had passed out. Then the next day she did not get off the couch until supper was ready. That is how she gets, so I can imagine how she was alone at a party with John. If I went and John was there it would be a confrontation. By the way I told her last night why don't you just take John so he can protect you again and I will spend the evening with the kids.

I understand that he wouldn't have inside access to the party itself, but he could document:

* What time she arrived and left (and maybe returned again).

* Whether OM was there.

* Follow her if she left the party.

* Observe her condition upon leaving the party, and if necessary, call the cops.

My best guess is that if she goes to the party alone, she will make an attempt to contact OM and meet up. It also appears that her recent excessive partying and weight loss has something to do with the OM ... possibly he has introduced her to some new "substances".

You also mentioned that at this same party 2 years ago, WW got SLOPPY drunk and was incapcitated ... Wouldn't it be GREAT to have photos of her in this condition, while her BH sits at home on NYE with the kiddos? Possibly even with OM helping her to the car, etc.

Excellent idea!

That was my thinking.

He doesn't have to be IN the party to watch the comings and goings.

Hey, Hogfan,

I'm worried that she's setting you up. CAN you take the kid's somewhere besides your house 2night?

I mean, d'ya know any other families that you could get together with and have a New Year's game night or something (that's what my family used to do - we'd get together with cousins or other families and play board games and crack off some bottle rockets at midnight...great memories..and NO DRUNKS!).

I dunno about the fireworks in Arkansas...here we are under burn bans b/c of the lack of rain...but still, family game night to ring in the New Year sounds fun to me...

Think I'll do that with the kids, myself. Santa brought TONS of board games...and we have a new pool table to break in.

I digress.

Isn't there somewhere else you all could be tonight...just so your littles won't see mommy all effed up?

Still friends. Call or email them to let them know what she's up to. These 'special' parties she cares so much for - what better way to make this new lifestyle not so much fun any more than to have these friends show their distaste for what she's doing? Call them. They'll understand.

I don't know if I could afford sending him out again. I have already spent so much money on the PI. I agree with the new substances. I have just spoken with the county k9 unit and they will be at the house with the dog on Friday at lunch.

I am not worried about her setting me up. If I were to go and OM was there I would wihp his a$$ while I was telling the friends what the deal was. As far as these friends I do not have any phone numbers for them. We have not hung around them in years.