I really don't know SD, throwing all of that extra stuff in there looks to me like showing your cards early.

IF this does reach mediation again, then you're going to want to be able to get all of that out with the suprise factor in tow.

I'd simply note that you're offering a compromise solution, she's offered nothing but ultimatums and is now the one threatening more legal maneuverings. That it's really in the best interests of the children for the two of you to be able to come to an agreement that the both of you can live with, you've established your boundary and it's not a new one, you don't want to see/deal with POSOM.. her response that she will not come to your house is nothing more than vindictiveness as there is no reason for it other than retalliation.

Besides, you're not -asking- her to come to your house, you're offering a reasonable solution.

I'd set out the parameters like this:

A) I'm not coming to your house.
B) I won't deal with POSOM
C) Midway dropoff seems to me to be the logical solution.

Now if you don't like C.. come up with a suggestion that respects A and B, and we can avoid mediation.

If you feel the need to go to mediation after I have tried my best to offer a reasonable solution to the change in circumstances YOU created, be prepared to foot the bill.

Damn cooler heads.


Fox

The no hair thing provides excellent air conditioning.

Cut him some slack Foxy. He doesn't have any hair on his

If you had an agreement for children to stay in their schools then you should force WW to move back into that district.

I would get a lawyer force WW to move back into the school district.

When a child is not living in a school that child is no longer entitled to go to those schools. Even though you may live in the district the children are not going to sleep in the district. Thus they are not residents.

By allowing WW to locate the residence of the kids to outside the district. All some one has to do is tip off the district about your kids residence and they will be thrown out of the old school and forced to attend schools were OM lives.

This will give you less access to your kids and less opportunities to be involved in their education activities, and community youth activities.

Swimmers do the oddest things for "speed"

Fox

I lived in Modesto for a few years when DDs were in kindergarten and first grade - what TheRoad is saying was certainly the case there.

I had to do some quick thinking (fibbing) so that DDs could go to a decent school. The house WxH found for us was in one of the crappiest neighborhoods in Modesto - there was no way I was letting my DDs go to school in that area.

Fox

Oh, it doesn't end with the hair, either...

I would keep it sweet, short and simply!

The park or I would be happy to go back to mediation. Would you like for me to set that up?

Also, get the lawyer if there was a voilation of the agreement and hold her to it!

I wouldn't include any of the other stuff...like someone mentioned you don't want to give away all of your cards...it's appraent that she is not acting in the best interest of the children from my POV.

just my 2 cents!

I understand the points of view saying to de-escalate the situation. The old "you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar".....

Who the heck wants flies?

I digress.

Part of the reason I am an advocate of the "let 'em have it" email is that sometimes it seems like the BS is the ONLY one to actually tell the wayward LIKE IT IS. No one else will do it, no one else CAN do it.

IMO, sometimes we are doing the wayward a favor by letting them hear it.

The high road can be just fine.....I just sometimes see it as being a martyr and reinforcing the "I'm better than you" attitude that the waywards accuse us of.

And....



They deserve a little mental/verbal right hook to the chin on occasion.

Fox

I wholly believe in being honest and forthright with the ex, FO SHO, but I don't advocate stirring the pot just for stirring's sake.

I don't feel like a martyr, cuz I'm still breathing and all. I do 'let em have it' if I get BullSh-- coming from the Z. I just don't get any crap from him anymore, 'cuz I don't care anymore. I say what I mean and I mean what I say.

I'm not interested in flies either. I'm interested in settling this crap sooner than later.

If it's a fight she wants, then fight her.

Can't you just whip up something in the lab and be done with it?

OOOOOO, a project....

Lots of great stuff while I was volunteering in kindergarten this morning. We practiced writing the letter c.

Heh. Don't think it hasn't crossed my mind in those fantasy moments. I suppose I could, but I think they might suspect me if he suddenly keeled over. In my list of life goals, "Avoid prison" actually ranks very high. Near the top. Plus, as much as I think the world would be a better place without POSOM in it, doing it myself would be against my nature. I'm a live and let live guy.

But, Foxy, we ARE better than them. I mean, that's just the way it is. Especially if we stick to the high road.

I agree with you here, Fox, but it's not like any of it will sink in. WS's just can't hear it. Saying what I already did was enough to get my point across. Including the rest will just make her sink her heels in deeper and get nastier. Plus, it will be more fun to spring it on her at mediation.



I think that will be pretty obvious to a mediator if it comes to that.

Yeah, she loves threatening me with court costs. It would be fun to put that back on her.

Absolutely. It's a nice diversion. Six months ago, an exchange like this one would have had me tied in knots for a few days, but these triggers fade very quickly.

I don't know you at all.......


Right after this, ya lost me.


Oh, yeah. this is what you said after BUT.

I'm a middle road kinda person myself.

I get ya, Amigo. I know what you all are saying here and you may be right.

If you can sleep at night with what you decide, THAT is what is important.

Fox

And to think we were once friends.

Better yet, if SCQ CAN'T sleep at night with what you decide, I'm all for it

I don't know, Guy Smiley, we might just have to kick you out of the Amigohood.

Aw, geesh, who am I kidding? Nobody gets kicked out of the Amigohood!!

You've got a life sentence with us!

The Foxinator

Here's what I sent:

SDG: I don't see any threats. I see trying to come up with a solution to avoid unpleasant situations.

If you don't want to come to our house, that's fine. We can meet at the park for those exchanges, too.

If you still want to fight over it, mediation is fine with me. Shall I set it up?