Hi SD,


Totally understandable.... "exchanging" with a WS can be exhausting

Yeah. For the rookies in the audience, I let that go on way too long, I think. The first couple of exchanges didn't bother me, but at the end they started to creep into my consciousness in open moments--driving, yoga final relaxation, trying to go to sleep. It's a sign that I'm feeling good when those moments aren't filled with that kind of junk.

It was a nice, low-impact weekend with the kids. It ended with a neighborhood party watching our Chargers lose (sigh) and me coming down with a cold (double-sigh).

Tomorrow morning at work we have a meeting scheduled to discuss 'planned changes to our workgroup.' There are layoffs all around, it's probably just a question of whether I lose co-workers or my job. (Sigh squared).

Gosh, Guy, I'll have my fingers crossed for you. That stinks.

Yipes, Guy Smiley.

Breathe, my friend.




Fox

I'm way less worked up about it than you might imagine. I know I'll be okay, one way or another. I worry more about losing some my co-workers and how sad that would be.

I've been pretty relaxed about the whole thing and am trying to keep some of the younger folks loose.

It is what it is.

Good attitude, sdguy.


Is that the ghost of BR I hear?

Fox

I say that all the time now. It is what it is. Ghosties or not ghosties, I've gotten better at accepting what is outside of my control.

Now if I could stop ULTRA controlling those minions within my control. MWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

....guess you better get used to hearing it, Fox!

BR was right about a lot of stuff, and 'making yourself miserable fighting What Is is stupid' was chief among them.

The Serenity Prayer is one of the wisest, most useful mantras ever, but I think a lot of people dismiss it too easily. Or too simply. Or something.

Good Morning!

Just stopping in to say HI and catching up...

The serenity prayer has been a life saver for me...there are a few other saying that I've had to call to the forefront of my mind this week!

Don't give up five minutes before the miracle! AND:

If God brought you to it, he'll bring you through it!

I also find myself saying: It is what it is!

We're all in line to pass on the wise of our forefathers!

HAve a great day!

Hey there SD.. I'm sorry about the exchange, and having seen your response on my thread I'm sure you know that I can TOTALLY relate to what you're dealing with.

Not much to add here that hasn't already been said, but I'll be happy to be your 'corner man' in this...

Slip in there and land a few quick jabs to soften her up (stick to the facts)

Stay away from her right hand (ignore the crap she's spewing.. besides.. who knows where it's been... the hand that is.. )

Get her on the ropes and keep her there (hold her to your solution, or force her to come up with a better one rather than just to complain about yours.. if it's unacceptable to you, simply state that.. you don't have to explain why.. her alternative is to go back to mediation.. it's a threat, and probably an empty one if she's going to have to pay too)

Wait for your moment, and then land your knockout blow (if it comes to mediation, you'll be better off using your heavy artillery there, rather than showing your hand early)


Keep on keepin on brother..

Life does get better.

Mornin' boys and girls!

I'm sure I overanalyze the "it is what it is" statement. 'cause while it is what it is in the moment, it doesn't have to be that way forever. I see it as more like staying in a rut and blaming it on "it is what it is" and I can't change it so I'm stuck.

You may not be able to control every aspect of a situation, but what you can change, DO. If that is what you want.

What IS isn't what HAS to be. KWIM?

And you're right, BR was right about alot of things. We had our moments, but there was value in what she had to say.

(and yes, I put a BUT in there and immediately thought of her.) It in no way discounts that we had our moments.

Fox

There goes Foxy again.. throwin her 'but' around..

If ya got it, flaunt it!



Fox

Any news on the job front, Guy Smiley. I saw the news this morning and they said how many people your company is laying off. Kinda scary.



Fox

It is what it is, so accept that and MOVE FORWARD, is how I take 'it is what it is'. If I wanted to blame blame blame anybody for 'it is what it is' I would not be divorcing, I would not have found a way to pay for college on my own when I was a kid, I would have taken defeat when DS was losing his mind post separation, etc. and so on.

Nope, not what I did at all. I accepted that what I could control (myself) I would, and make changes to deal with what was at hand. I couldn't control HOW DS felt, but I could control HOW I dealt with it. I couldn't control that my mom had no funds to help me with college, I could control how I could go about paying for it myself. I couldn't control the Z, so I changed me, and found the light at the end of my tunnel.

DD21 and I hate that phrase. To us it drips of waywardness and fog. Wayzilla started out of the blue using that phrase incessantly after D-Day for the first time in her life. It was her out of every discussion.

DD would mimic her mom's "It is what it is.", with a Scarlet O'Hara accent complete with the "I think I may have the vapors" back of the wrist to her forehead touch.

It still makes me cringe.

Ooooo, sorry, man. Okay, I'll try to refrain from using it here in respect of your trigger. That really does stink.

So... his trigger means more than mine?


Just kiddin', if everyone stopped using every phrase that got my back up, it'd be a quiet world.

Fox

Nah, say it all you want if it means something and works for you.

It's just funny that the same line can be used to great extent by BS's for personal recovery and by waywards to dodge any accountability of their actions.

Actually DD's Scarlet O'Hara Wayzilla imitation is pretty darn funny.