again i am the blackberry so some interpretation of my typing my be required - sorry

as long as you have checked your personal and corporate exposure on this and are not worried that you are putting yourself or your company at risk of legal action have at it.....

i would still suggest that when it comes to a situation in which you are not directly involved (ie not the BS, WS, or related to either of the above) or only involved as a third party corporate rep, that it might be prudent to privately seek the advice of people you trust on here rather than to make it an open discussion. That's just me though, I am a risk averse type of fellow.

Sorry I havent given an update it has been an interesting week and I have been dealing with this sitch.

When the managing director returned from his leave I discussed the sitch with him and he said he was happy for me to deal with it however I felt was necessary. I explained to him that in the interests of the business I believed it would be best to dismiss her as she was abusing her position and company property to appropriate her affair and this should be frowned upon by management. As the company started as a family business and I know the MD is family orientated he agreed. We discussed the OM in this sitch and we both agreed he was going to be disciplined but we would continue his employment but it would be very closely monitored by me and he would be placed on a very strict probationary period and any misconduct during this period would result in summary dismissal.

The WS returned from her leave last Wednesday I guess she was expecting to come back to all happy and smiles well she didnt get that.

I had a meeting with her the day she returned showed her the evidence and told her given the circumstances we were terminating her employment. I also told her we expected her to pay the phone account which she paid for before she left. She did not attempt to explain herself and I didnt ask her to. She was well aware I knew what they were up to. She packed her desk and left.

As for the OM I got him in for a meeting next and utlined the sitch. He was very defensive and complained they were 'just friends' and he saw her as a mother figure (I was totally disgusted by that comment). I handed him a letter outlining that she had been dismissed due to the misconduct and that he was now being placed on a strict probation for three months. I also told him I was moving him from the department he was currently in to a role in another department where I could closely monitor him. This move would also place him under a male manager who I knew was very pro-marriage and I had discussed the issues with this manager and I know any issues will be reported to me directly.

As it turns out on Friday OM was late so he had a chat with him about it. Then on Monday he called in sick and then this morning he handed in his resignation so I sent him home immediately.

I am glad it is over. And I am also glad he resigned cause it saved me having to terminate him.

I just would also like to thank everyone who offered advice on the best way to handle this it has been greatly appreciated.

Bravo to you, peanut!

Peanut,

I think you and your company handled this about as well as it could have been handled. I do hope that the woman's husband somehow figures out why his W is unemployed. And I also hope that the OM in this situation learns something from it.

One never knows. Nevertheless, you did very well in my book.

JL

The good side wins once in awhile.

Does the OWH find out why his WW got fired?

Apparently her husband already knows there is an issue. To what extent I am unsure but I hope she comes clean and tells him why she was dismissed. He deserves to know the truth.

He knows some of the managers here at work so I have no doubt he will ask the question of them and hopefully they will be honest and not cover for her.

I dont know him so he wont come to me for information and to be honest I am not at liberty to discuss it with him anyway.

I am just glad it is done and dusted. This has brought back many questions for me and I have been quite down through it all. My WH realises this has been a really tough sitch for me and he has avoided the topic like the plague (I believe because he doesnt want to be reminded of his own indescretions - avoidance is a wonderful thing LOL).

Dealing with the issue at work was the easy part, dealing with my own feelings towards it was tough.

Hi LP,
Just happened to read ur old post and this the kind of information I need, an HR point of view on affairs. My WH is a manager and OW is a staff at a different Dept. She is married w/ 2 small children. I'm not sure if u still visit this site but I would like to ask u more questions if possible. I have exposed to OWH, her brother(works same place, a manager), her boss but to no avail. They are treating me like a lunatic who is insecure, etc.
Thanks in advance!

Can you go higher up the chain of command? HR Director, Company attorney, CEO, etc? Did you send an exposure letter to his boss and copy it to any of these people? What did your exposure letter say?

mavic, I have been a hiring manager off and on for 20 years and believe the best way to expose a workplace affair is to send a certified letter to the director of Human Resources, a key VP ccing both of their supervisors. The carbon copy note [cc] needs to be on each letter so no one gives into the temptation to toss the letter. Direct supervisors will be most tempted to do this.

It sounds, though, like her brother is covering up for her and influencing the OW's manager. Doing as I suggested will circumvent this. Be sure and send evidence or state that you have evidence of the affair and be prepared to provide it.

I will post a sample letter.

Developed by Brits Brat, board member and corporate attorney. This letter should be sent to the Director of Human Resources and cc�d to the adulterers supervisors and a key VP. It is critical that this letter be sent to several people so no one person can give into the temptation to bury the issue.

To Whom It May Concern:

This letter is to bring a matter to your attention that may be a violation of your Company's Code of Conduct and/or other policies, procedures and business ethics.

WS and WS are involved in an extramarital affair that is taking place, primarily, in the workplace. Aside from the potential sexual harassment claims this situation presents, it also involves the inappropriate use of company resources and assets. WS and WS are using company time and company resources to further their affair. If you check the call histories on their office and cell phones along with their workstation computers, you will find the two of them are spending an inordinate amount of what should be productive work time to further their sexual relationship.

If you have any questions, please call me at xxx-xxxx. Otherwise, I will anticipate a response from you once you have investigated these concerns and taken appropriate corrective action.

Regards,

BS

I might think that a 21 day suspension, with a letter to her HOME address (without her knowledge) explaining in detail as to why she was suspended might assist in tipping off the BH.

You could tell her in person, also send the "confirmation letter" home. Her hubby might wonder why she won't show it to him, etc.

I don't think it would be legit to have the husband in on the personnel meeting with her. IMHO. It would be strange.

I like the idea of suspensions - that gives you lots of time to investigate. Be sure to lock them both out of their emails!!!! That way they cannot clean up their trails.