Do what you need to do for YOU. If WW's texts bother you or deflate your resolve, then block them and ignore her. Telling OM to stop WW from texting you would be fine too. It could cause fighting between them or it may do nothing. The main thing is you need to stand firm and not get manipulated by WW's drama. Have you consulted an attorney at all?

You should go to Plan B and block her texts.

Insulate yourself from her abuse.

Time will give you perspective.

What do I see in your situation?

A woman betrayed you and got pregnant with another man's child.

You have no kids with this woman.

What could end up happening? You get stuck with child support for a child that isn't yours.

What will happen with time?

You'll get over your WW. Really. You will.

But you'll be outraged and angry that you're stuck paying hundreds a month for a child that isn't yours and is not in your life.

So what do you do?

Get a lawyer right now and establish, legally, that this child isn't yours.

You see, going after custody of this child really is nothing more than leverage to use against your WW.

But in the end you're likely going to end up divorced, with this child legally considered as a "child of the marriage" and with you stuck with the CS payments for a child that isn't yours.

And I hate to tell you this but the love you'll feel for a child that is truly yours is a lot more intense than what you feel for this child that isn't. That's just a reality. Trust me as a father.

There is no way I could love another child like I love my own. No way.

You will get over your WW. You'll get to a point where you're happy she's out of your life. Trust me on that.

But you don't want to be stuck paying CS for a kid that isn't yours.

Let her go. Go to a totally dark Plan B and protect yourself legally by establishing that this child isn't yours.

I want to make this 100% clear.

I have spoken to a very good atourny, several times. I have spoken to several counsalers, and done research on the laws of my state.

All agree, that in this state. There is no way that I will ever have to pay child support on this child as long as I am willing to have a DNA test done to dis-prove my paternaty before a divorce is final. This will nulify my rights as her parent, but will exonerate me from the responsability of paying child support.

Thats it, period.

Let me say that again.

In this state, there is no way she can EVER!!! get me for child support as long as I am willing to prove I am not the OC genetic father before the finalization of a divorce, wich will nullify my rights as her father.

This is the only reason I was willing to accept her as my legal child.


Am I clear on this?

They don't really bother me. And I have not responded to her in any way.

It would definatly couse fighting.

If things go that way, I belive you on this 100%

WW wanted me to see her and the OC last night.

Her sister informed her that I would very badly like to see OC, but will have no contact with WW untill she has removed OM from her life. WW did not like that one bit, her reply (and the one I expected) well then I guess BH doesn't want to see OC very badly if he wont see me too.

Typical wayward mindset (Me Me Me Me Me)

Interesting

WW stayed at her mothers last night instead of OM's
She is telling her sister that she is done with OM, that she had to go back to him to realize she didn't want to be with him.

Says she doesn't know what she wants.

She has not attempted to contact me.

Could it be that she wants neither of us?

Should I brake plan-B?

Scratch that last question.

I know, plan-B is for me. To isolate me from my WW wile she is acting wacko. It is not for my WW.

I'm sorry Gack1.
I'm not comming home.
Sorry 4 everything I've put U through
But I've got to do this.
I love you bye.

So Gack bro, did you change the fricken locks yet?

kirk

You must hold to plan B.

At this point I would DNA test and let the divorce go through.

You can always date and remarry XWW if it suits you.

Do not let WW get her hooks into you or your money with this OC.

That's why I think it best to let the divorce go through. Also if there is not NC between WW and OM tell OM that WW is contacting you to see her.

Yes and no.
Lets just say she cant get in the house unless she breaks a window or pics a lock. But she hasn't tried, allmost all her stuff is there, but she has made no attempt at retrieving any of it, or asking for any of it.
Ok

Unless she has filed in the last week, there is no divorce.

You ever feel like you are repeating yourself, but no one is listening?

This is why I stopped posting about my sitch the middle of last year. I trully appreaceate the advice, but I do not need any about her taking me to the cleaners with the OC.

Perhaps my state just has very progresive paternaty laws compared to others. But I assure you, she cant get me for child support on the OC. It cant be done here, not now, not in 15yrs.

As far as getting her claws in my money, I only own one single thing in this world, her SUV.

"All agree, that in this state. There is no way that I will ever have to pay child support on this child as long as I am willing to have a DNA test done to dis-prove my paternaty before a divorce is final. This will nulify my rights as her parent, but will exonerate me from the responsability of paying child support."

"You ever feel like you are repeating yourself, but no one is listening?"

"This is why I stopped posting about my sitch the middle of last year. I trully appreaceate the advice, but I do not need any about her taking me to the cleaners with the OC.
Perhaps my state just has very progresive paternaty laws compared to others. But I assure you, she cant get me for child support on the OC. It cant be done here, not now, not in 15yrs."

Well according to you, the self proclaimed expert on all matters high and low, far and near, and in between.

Your OWN words have just been hot air. Willing to have a DNA test done and having one done are not the same. But what do I know. Don't post here. You only want to be told what a great job you are doing. So this one is for you

Your the greatest.

Gack, read your thread. I must commend you on your strong stance. Is there any possibility of reconciliation? I mean you supported her through out her whole pregnancy. I am sure the only reason she stayed was the insurance. If you kept insuring the baby could that put any liability on you as agreeing to take responsibility?

No thats according to the advice of my lawyer. Who I consulted with months ago about if I should go ahead and get a divorce, or try and reconcile.

I don't understand? If she divorces me, or if I decide to divorce her, I will do a DNA test to exonerate me from any responsability for the OC.

Why do you get to make this decision? Are you a Moderator? Have I violated the TOS?

I don't know anymore.

She sent me somthing for V-day, but it almost seemed like an insult. I am thinking of sending it back to her.

Oddly, she cant get me for CS on the OC, but I also cant drop insurance on her or the OC. In this state I cant drop my WW from my insurance untill we divorce. I also cant drop the OC unles I prove she is not mine AND divorce her mother.

But as long as I do both if we divorce, I can not be heald responsible for the OC, in any way.

Just stoped buy to say I still read here.

Don't post much, bumped a few threads, but thats all.

A lot has happened.

Well...?

She left, came back.
Left came back.

I'm just tired. Tired of all of it.

What are your boundaries when she returns?

She returned over two months ago.

I was asked not to post anymore, it kinda turned me off to the site.

I got a LSA traking key.

Since she last returned about two months ago, she has not deviated from N.C.

But honestly, I get the best advice from reading other peoples posts on this site. Yet when I post It always deviates to "Devorce her now or your going to pay cild support"

My Father passed away two weeks ago.

His lawyer, who mediated his will for me, says the same thing.

Not in this state!

Thats two marriage councelers and three lawyers, who all say the same thing.
Yet I cant get any advice on this site becouse it aways degenerates to "You dont knowe what you are taliking about"

It's rather frustraiting.

But I carry on.

I see others getting great, and I mean great advice. Or atleast support.

My posts alway go back to one thing,

Divorce her now!!!

Just make sure you have not become the Gack Bread and Breakfast for her!!! A place she came come and go.

She stays home most days. I have GPS and DVR devices everywher, everything seems kosher.

I just want to know why I was asked to leave by a respected elder?

I have read HNHN, SVAF, and watched about every webcast Dr Harley ever posted.

So why are my posts so diferant?