Gack, I think you get the advice you get because of the title of your post. The facts are your wife cheated. Got pregnant with the OMs kid, you helped her throughout the pregnancy, She had the baby, you adopted the baby and she ran away with the OM. Nobody knew or thought she would come back. That and the title led us to believe that you were ready to D.

I am not going to tell you to divorce her. I hope you can get back together. There is a major hole in your story, can you relate why, she came back. Was it because she found out she didn't love the OM? Was it for insurance and security. Please relate these events, thanks

Your a bigger man then most to pay for your WW pregnancy, child birth and now CS.

You do not want to divorce your WW, make the OM pay to raise his child, clear your name as not being the OC's dad. Not hold your WW acountable. You let her come and go at will. This is not a marriage.

You were not commanded not to post. You were being told that your posting here was not being effective because you will not take action.

You let everything just happen. Then complain about it.

You need to get your WW to recover your marriage or plan D her. Instead you stay in nowhere land in between.

What has your WW done to recover the marriage?

It appears that she is only back because the OM won't support her and her OC, doesn't want to be a dad, and got bored with WW and moved on to the high of new conquests.

Who asked you to leave and why? The only ones who can make you leave are the mods. If someone is harassing you, I would notify the moderators and let them handle it.

Gack,

The moderators are the names in green. The guys will give you a warning if anything is un-kosher.

Road was expressing his point of view.

My question earlier was simply did you ask your wife to engage in any reconciliation activities before she returned. Eg NC letter, change workplace, go to a MB weekender or read HNHN book.

I'm not sure if you understood what the lawyer told you or perhaps didn't get the complete story. Most states have a specific time limit, a window of opportunity, to have a paternity test done to rule you out as being the biological father of a child. Some are as short as 6 months. And your situation is different than most men in this situation - you had prior knkowledge that this child was not yours yet you represented yourself as the parent anyway. That is what a court is going to look at, especially if this drags on for a number of years.

Five years from now if you go to divorce and try to say you shouldn't have to pay support because the child is not yours, the court will probably rule against you saying that you acted as the child's father willingly (i.e. not duped as in a paternity fraud case). You might find yourself in the situation where you are denied visitation rights because you are not the bio father yet on the hook for a hefty support payment. And yes, this situation has happened to other men.

If I were you, I would be asking these questions to my attorney, especially concerning time limits. As far as the others, I think they have your best interests at heart. You CAN see that it is difficult to understand why someone in your situation is trying to make it work with someone who clearly has no interest in being a wife to you?

It's hard to make these decisions when you think that there is a glimmer of hope, but eventually you have to decide on what is best for YOU, Gack1.