How long do thses alien takeing fogged out spouses last for?? I have going on this for at least 2 months..We talk very little, and still share chores and go to kids activties together...Evrybody thinks is wacky that she wants out so bad, but still hangs around??

Well..My lawyer called me today..And says wife has filed for the big D...Im still in shock that it has come to this..We have to live together 4 waile longer..But.....Thats it..But..At a loss of words...

This is NOT it. Find out all details about possible OM. Expose where possible.

Cheaters connections live for a very small while.

Have you closed any joint bank accounts and credit cards? If you don't have her love, she shouldn't have your money.

Ahead of you guys on that one..My payroll will be ging into the my new bank account next payday, and the visas are on hold..She does not know about both of theses..What do you mean cheaters connections live for a small while?? This explains why she hasnt packed to move yet..Must of been something her lawyer said to put a halt to it...

The chance that a cheater will continue there relationship in a marriage environment is 1% survive for up to 5 years in marriage.

Cheating brings about so many complications that the interaction only survives IF one party is married.

So in a nut shell..If I bust it up..I stand a better chance of staying married...Don't all affairs usally run thier course, and the spouse is pretty whacked and remorseful with what they have done??

"Don't all affairs usally run thier course, and the spouse is pretty whacked and remorseful with what they have done??"

No.

You need to read up on how to do a plan A. Gather proof of affair and OM. Use voice activated digital recorder hidden in WW car and the house. Keylogger on the computer. Examine phone bills for OM phone number.

Once you have proof do not confront WW, but expose WW parents and her siblings.

Let us know what you uncover before you take action so you can run it by us.

I know the OM calls her cell alot and she gaurds that phone more so then or kids I think sometimes...I do no think my inlaws would beleive me even with proof...And our fight that got us to this point, was the amount of time that she had been calling him..I did buy a voice recorder yesterday..Will try that today and see what I come up with..

Does she work?

Yeah..They both work toghter..Why?? If I can prove it..I am going to say that this was against the poliy of harrasment and see what ahakes out of that..

Any other assets you need to protect?

No..Everything else is joint..And I do not have the sole power to put a stop to those, she could phone, and get the stuff back toghter...Man..I think I am still in numb land with the D thing..She wants spousal, and some crazy child custody...All the hard work we have done the last 10 years..And the lawyers are going to reap all the benefits..Sh*t

Those custody wants are there for negotiating purposes. You will ask for the same. How old are your kids?

My friend, I am sorry you are here. I hope you are ready to get up and get to work, because so far nothing has been to save this marriage. Your family needs you to stand up for them and take the strongest action possible to protect them. Your kids will never be the same if your wife successfully destroys their family.

Have you hired a PI or gathered any evidence of her adultery? That would be useful for your legal proceedings. do you live in a FAULT state where you can COUNTERSUE on the grounds of adultery? If so, you could call the OM to the stand to give testimony under oath about his adultery.

But you don't need pictures and emails to know she is having an affair and to be able to expose the affair NOW.

You need to start doing something meaningful here to kill this affair or you are going up without a marriage. Exposure is the most potent weapon you have against the affair. Affairs thrive on secrecy and you have been protecting their secret for a very long time.

Exposure allows the light to shine on and ruin the fantasy. A good strategic exposure will look like this:

Expose to all on the same day in order to create a TSUNAMI EFFECT and to prevent the infidels from pre-empting you and spinning you as the "jealous nutjob"

Make a list of key targets, such as WW's parents, your parents, OM's parents, close siblings, friends and call them all on the same day. tell them about your w's adultery with XYZ and [real important---------->] ask for their advice. This can motivate them to get involved and speak to your wife.

Send a certified letter to the Director of Human Resources and cc a key VP and both of the infidel's supervisors, telling them about the affair. Here is a template written by one of our members who just happens to be a corporate attorney:

To Whom It May Concern:

This letter is to bring a matter to your attention that may be a violation of your Company's Code of Conduct and/or other policies, procedures and business ethics.

WS and WS are involved in an extramarital affair that is taking place, primarily, in the workplace. Aside from the potential sexual harassment claims this situation presents, it also involves the inappropriate use of company resources and assets. WS and WS are using company time and company resources to further their affair. If you check the call histories on their office and cell phones along with their workstation computers, you will find the two of them are spending an inordinate amount of what should be productive work time to further their sexual relationship.

If you have any questions, please call me at xxx-xxxx. Otherwise, I will anticipate a response from you once you have investigated these concerns and taken appropriate corrective action.

Regards,

BS


And the most important exposure should be to your CHILDREN. Their lives are being destroyed so your wife can act like an alley cat in heat and they need to know this. They need your moral guidance and they need the FACTS. Your wife needs to face them and explain why she would destroy their lives so she can chase some punk. That will give her a huge wake up call. Kids can deal with the truth, they cannot deal with LIES. More on that in the next post.

I hope you have the meanest junkyard dog lawyer money can buy, lest you will end up wiped out for an affair that is doomed from the start.

My kids are 8 and 6...I We already talked about a true spilt custody..1 week me then 1 week her..But, she found out that this makes a HUGE difference in the cash she will get, and will find it tough as nails to live alone..She even started to write down time that I havent been arounf the last couple of months...Good thing I keep all the email I sent her, and they show I have been cooperitve when it come to the kids..I would have never ever seen this day coming...Let alone that my wife could be attached to someone else..."loveless, passionless marriage", 'want to be alone with the kids".. All that BS that came out of her mouth the last couple of months..From looking at buying a bigger house, to splitting up, in less the 4 months!!..Yes I may seem a tad bitter..I AM!!

Well your thinking smart. Get the best lawyer you can afford, with the best results. It will make a difference. Do you have any of your discussions about custody recorded or e-mail record? I would not (on your part) speak to her on any subject of importance. YOUR COMMENT SHOULD BE "I DON'T KNOW LET ME THINK ABOUT IT, AND I WILL GET BACK TO YOU LATER." THEN JUST E-MAIL HER. DO NOT LET ON THAT YOU ARE DOING THIS BECAUSE YOU WANT HER TO BE AT EASE WHILE YOU DOCUMENT "EVERYTHING" YOU DISCUSS OR PAY HER FOR. ALL RECEIPTS KEPT FOR RECORDS. You will need to get a Var for her car and you need to carry around a var on you when you are with her all the time. She could start playing dirty pool with child services or the police. In a situation like this. NO YELLING. Let her lose it and you record it. It may not be admissible but let the lawyers figure that out.

Remember the tougher you make it on her (without seeming vindictive) the more it will make her think if its worth it.

The happier you get the more she will regret.

I cant belive that OUR family is not WORTH IT...How do some people turn off all emtions so fast..While the BS takes a emational beating...Its just not FAIR!!! Yes Im still bitter..My first letter to her lawyer from mine, is that I DO NOT WANT THIS TO END...I know it wont get me anywhere..But SHE is the one that filed first!! Not me...Im just trying to fight for us, while protecting myself and kids..