bbb I am a FWW and KiwiJ - Jen - is so right... earning the 'F' is going to be one of the biggest challenges in your life.

It WILL BE very hard to work through and you may feel like giving up... your H may feel like giving up.

You will need to be prepared to do a whole lot of things...
I left my job;
I got rid of the car I used;
I threw out ALL the clothes & undies and everything that had ANY relation to the affair in the slightest way;
I gave my DH all my web access codes ... every single one;
I still have him CC in on all posts;
I blog what I do every day he is away and even some days he is home ... just so that he knows I know he deserves to know all that I do ... and yes he says it drives him crazy I can stop now ... never he's stuck with me;
We/I had IC and MC based on a lot of MB principles;
Sadly I did not tell him all the details as I should have when he asked... tried to get out of it ... but all it did was get him angry and hurt him more ... DON'T MAKE THAT MISTAKE;
You will feel like the lowest crap in the world ... good its only up from there.... and you put yourself there;
Know right now THERE ARE NO EXCUSES ... maybe reasons you choose to cheat but get this very clear.. like me ... YOU CHOOSE!!!;

that's the beginning.

What you can hope and WORK towards is a new M.

I will not say our M is better because of my affair ... no it's new and it's different.
We are very... intensely... intimate. We have no marriage secrets and I at least find it hard to even withhold what I buy him for his birthday. Its sort of freaky at times... I can sense him coming home or what he is going to say next. I don't believe in spooky stuff as such but I do believe we are so connected we are very much a part of each other.

And its such a gentle and passionate connection. And I have NEVER felt so safe before. I pray I give him the same feeling like he says. (See I still admit to feeling unworthy at times)
Because he deserves the BEST I have.
Not because of guilt or remorse ... no ... because not only does he deserve better than that... but because of my LOVE for him.

And so does your H from you. If he doesn't let you then sorry but that's the chance you took to have an affair. The chance all of us WW and FWW took. Stupid & selfish does not adequately describe it.

All the sorry's in the world wear thin ... actions bbb... actions will give you the chance to recover your M or build a new one with your H.
Get to work.. NOW!!!!