Prayers going out for you. Stay safe. We are very proud of the way you are handling this.

Americans won't forget our troops.

We can help you decide what questions to ask. Most men want answers, even though they may be hard to hear.

Soldier I will include you and your wife (praying she is genuine in wanting to recover) in our daily prayers for my son and SIL.

Take care .. be aware. Mission focus only.

Have you changed for life insurance? I hope so until the dust settles on you marriage. Even n the field it is done all the time. Just a suggestion.

Yes, he has changed his life insurance.

Hoping to hear more soon. Prayers for him and his comrades in the meantime.

Are you back ok soldier ?


Just a soldiers mum check

I'm currently out on missions right now and don't really have much time to get online. I'm moving around quite a bit and here I thought I was going to be a Fobbit (a soldier who never leaves the safty of the base he or she is assigned to). I have been able to talke to my wife a little bit and some conversations were good and some not so good. I can feel the frustration building and sometimes I just can't contain it.

So glad to hear from you!!!! I will continue praying for you and all of the soldiers. Remember that this isn't going to get fixed quickly and like AW says, stay focused.

We have another soldier in your position who just signed up here.

Prayers to you from California.

Really good to hear you are ok.

Soldier as Believer has told you this process is very long and the answers do not come quickly. Try to keep the difficult questions for your return as they will likely take some time to work through.

I know it must be very frustrating however please remember that you need to keep the situation at hands length right now and stay focused on your task.

Yes it's very hard to do this with a million thoughts and questions buzzing around in your head, just keep focused on the short term goals ....

completing your mission tasks;

keeping the communication open with your wife;

getting home safe!!

Keeping you in my prayers

AW

Are you ok Soldier?

I am done with my mission that took me outside the wire and am back at my base in Anaconda. It was so good to sleep on a bed again. There have been some new developements that has lead to a decision I have recently made. A friend of my wife's e-mailed me and told me about what she has been up to. Apparently after my best friend she got her self a new boyfriend and is currently sleeping with him. I was given more information (names of other guys she had been with) and everything checked out due to some evidence I found on my own. I had my brother pack up her stuff from my house and take it to her parents house while she was at a hotel with her new boyfriend that she planed about two weeks earlier. My family now knows about her and what I am going through. Her parents were crushed when they heard I was calling it quits and why. My brother called my wife to tell her that her stuff was at her parents and she was no longer welcome at my home and that I now know everything. After talking to my brother and asking him how things went he said he was disturbed by the tone and attitude in my wife's voice. He said she had a uncareing attitude and had a cold tone in her voice, she didn't even care. I am done with her and glad to know I should just move on. I am just waiting for morning to come state side to call the divorce lawyer and file my paperwork. I thank everyone here for giving me good advice and I am glad I chose the path I did. I can move on with my life with no what if's and I know I tried everything. You just can't save someone who dosn't want to be saved. The last thing I found out about my wife is that she has a trip with her boyfriend planed to San Fransisco so they can go to a rave together.

Soldier... All I can offer is my condolance. In MANY ways she has saves you a TON of time and potential wasted recovery attempt.

Have your brother escort her to pick up remaining items, then have him change the locks on the house.

That plan you had on page one of this thread, still sounds promising!

Happy that you are back safe, but so sorry to hear the latest regarding your wife.

It really sounds like she has some serious issues, and is not really wife material. I know it hurts, but better to find out all of this before you had kids.

Soldier first I am so glad you are safe and returned from your mission ok.

I am so sorry that your suspicions turned out to be reality with your wife.
Her actions are typical of a cheating wife in the midst of an affair. Cold .. uncaring ... etc... however she is a multiple cheater and I hold little hope she will change any time soon.. maybe never.

Your choice to end the M is right for you in these circumstances even if painful. She WILL come to regret her actions but you will have moved on is my guess. Her choice was to stop and work on the M or not. She choose the parties and POS boyfriends.

Due to being a soldier and the demands placed on you I do feel it is far better to know her behaviour now instead of some years down the track with perhaps small children involved.

Some women cannot be army wives especially these days when there is the likelihood of several more years of warfare in Afghanistan. It's hard enough for all concerned even in long term army marriages let alone new ones.
BUT there are stayers out there. Some make mistakes and choose badly but fight their way back and can save their marriages.. but your wife is not one of these.

But know this.. decent loyal and loving women will line up to have a decent man who is also loyal and loving. I know its cold comfort now but some time in the near future YOU will meet them when you are ready.

Please don't bottle up the stuff you will run into .. if you need to vent or ask questions post here.. there are many who have been through the ringer and got through ok... may be able to help you avoid some pit falls.

Please take care and thinking of you in our prayers

AW

Folk without kids are not encouraged to attempt reconnection at MB.

May God grant you peace during this time!

Well, I'm just trying to get my divorce done and over with and I have so much stuff to do out here I haven't really been able to make much progress. Since I've been back I have recieved a packet for a summary dissolution and still have to fill it all out. I would like to get with the JAG and make sure it is all done right so this will be a one shot deal, but now I am put in all these classes and missions and hardly have time to even look at the paper work let alone concentrate on what needs to be filled out. I wish I could just sign a few pieces of paper and get it over with instead of having it so complicated and not being able to concentrate on getting it done. I know the mission comes first, but can I just have some time to get personal things done. Well I'm getting cut off for another mission again. I'll try to post more later.

Soldier I understand your impatience however please stay focused on your mission and staying safe for now.
The divorce will take a certain amount of time and nothing you do will really hurry that up... its laws and court etc.

just remember your family loves you and wants to see you home safe and sound.... and we here on MB would like to know you get home safe and sound as well ... so please try not to let this situation get to you right now. Just remind yourself that YOU were loyal and loving and faithful and honourable.... YOU have no self recriminations to go over in this situation.

Patience for now... keep focused ... keep safe

take care

AW

I am being safe and focused out here and have now completed two more missions that took me outside the wire. While I'm at work I don't give my situation a second thought and on my free time I don't loose any sleep over it. I guess what I'll do is take the packet to my wife when I get home so she can fill her sections out and if there is any problem with her parts I'll be able to work it out before submitting it. I go home in about a month for my two week leave and things can hold till then. I just hate feeling like there is something undone and I can't get around to completeing it. I have been sucessful in everything I've done and been recognized and put on other missions because of my accomplishments. I am fully focused on the tasks at hand and am staying safe. I am confident I will return home safe and in one piece, so plase don't worry too much about my focus or safe return. There are so many things that can happen to me out here, but none of them will happen because of my lack of focus or complacency. I will continue posting on this thread untill I am home for good and will allow you all to breath a little easier knowing a soldier made it home safe and in sound mind to start a new life. Lately I have had a lot of old friends from my past come out and send me messages. I haven't heard from these friends since highschool or shortly after and now they are married or in set carrer fields. I have a lot of catching up to do and a new life to live. I see what I am going through as a new begining and I look forward to the challenges ahead knowing that it is me alone and no one else.

Fcal,
What a relief to hear from you again. I am so proud that you are handling this so well. You have come a long, long way. But, you are being strong and focused and just seem to be a no nonsense kind of guy to be as young as you are. Very good for you.
You have kept your wits about you and are doing what is best for you--kudos for that. I have no doubt that you will get everything together and get yourself on the right track for your future...and I still have the 23 yo. single daughter!!!
Take care soldier--it's good to hear from you and I for one am a very Proud American to have those such as yourself serving our country.

If/When a time comes you are looking to circulate a resume. Please send me an email to the addee in my profile. I would be happy to assist.

-JKT

I hope you have redirected most of your salary to another account and as well as life insurance. I have actually scene a case where a troop comes homes to find that the OM actually had been living in his apartment with his wife almost the whole time. Benefiting from free rent and his paycheck to by food, car payments etc. Just throwing that out there.