Yes, in the fog. My ex never blamed me for anything, so he was a bit different. Instead, he denied having an affair almost the whole time. And he had no interest in talking to me at all.

But when he woke up from the fog, he started communicating constantly. The last I talked to him, he told me that he realized I wouldn't take him back, but he would always love me and we would be together forever in heaven.

I selfishly think this is the BEST advice I can take at this point too.

Hope, it's so good to see you. I am so proud of you and in awe of your strength. Good for you. I remember how hard moving forward for you was and now look. Such a woman of G-d you are and I can imagine how happy G-d is of you.

We all knew how hard exH marriage must have been for you. But you keep on keeping on and I'm honored to know you.

I love hearing about how your boys interact with their dad. Kids are so smart and can get away with so much.

Believer, thank you for your words of wisdom, it SEEMS that WH broke up with OW and the statistics panned out as of last Friday. But I don't ask and still know NOTHING.

I think the only way he will crash and burn is if his business collapses, otherwise I don't see this marriage failing...timre will tell.

I'm having a good weekend with my boys being around. Something funny happened today....XH phoned DS19 on his cell and chatted for a while...at the same time the home phone rang and I recognized the no.,it was a guy that is getting too friendly,so I asked DS16 to answer and say I was out.At that moment XH asked DS19 if he could chat to DS16.He says "he's on the phone telling some guy who's interested in mom, that shes not here" LOL

LOL, Hope, I thought you said there was no potential gentleman caller!!!!!!!!

I still think that hubby's marriage will end. They usually do. I don't even care if the business is successful. A marriage that starts with infidelity, a blended family, a witchy affairaige partner - HOPELESS.

Believer, I so hope you are right...

I've learnt not to panic about situations or concentrate on too many "WHAT IFS"...

I am content in plan B.I don't have the urge to want to see or speak to him, which is good. When he fetches the boys I do still get a knot in my stomach though!

A good friend of mine told me yesterday that she had seen him in a supermarket a while back. She said he kept his head down and stared at the food in front of him.She joked that she had never seen someone so interested in the price of cheese before!!!LOL
If he thinks/knows that what he has done is ok,his actions when he sees old friends speaks a different language.

Another friend of 20 years,who works in Angola now but comes home 2,3 times a year popped into the shop.He said XH literally stepped backwards and looked like he'd seen a ghost!!

DS16 has settled down nicely emotionally and he stands his ground around OW.I've warned him that OW will expect his dad to stand up for her now that they are married.He says he will stop going there if his dad takes her side...

What are your plans for xH now?

XH came to fetch DS16 for the week....I still don't let him in the house and I make sure I'm invisible too...

He doesn't even bother to ask the boys if I'm at home whenever he comes here....
I wonder if I ever cross his mind.....

I often think maybe I should talk to him and show him that I'm getting on with my life and that I'm not bothered by his remarriage (that would be a lie though!).

He most probably sees my being dark as a snub and me just being spiteful or nasty.IDK....

I have a nephew in England that is about to marry a strongly active Christian girl. He has been attending her church for a short period of time. I am concerned for an equally yoked relationship. I am concerned for her. This, despite that I like my nephew.

Your own history may be similar. It sounds like you also came from Christian folk. Did you marry this man while you were a Christian?

Right now you seek to chase after an unbelieving husband. I love your dedication, but is it biblical?

I had been through trial dating a lady who I hoped I would engage, many years before meeting my wife. Our Christian strengths were not matched. It took two years of dating before I realized that there was no chance our marriage would not be satisfactory. Sadly I already knew so at year one. Missing her, extended the time to two years.

God does not shout out when we come too close to an unwholesome product. Consequences may only come much later.

Give me something that I can pray for you!

Hope,

I'm not sure if I have ever posted to you, my former name here was stillhurting01 had to change it so I could get back onto MB.
I think it was your thread that I had seen the mention of Charlyne Cares... it may have been more than a year ago but I read it the afternoon after my final court date. I hope I have the right thread... are you by any chance still standing for your marriage? Just asking because that is what I'm doing. I have felt deep in my heart that God wants me to wait for my exWh, it's the hardest thing I have ever done, if you can imagine there are many people IRL who think I'm nuts. Not that I don't at times.

I have been following your thread for awhile and my heart and soul broke for you when I read your husband married the OW. This is a BS's worst nightmare and my prayers are with you that you have the strength to move forward. I also pray that God helps your WH see that what he has with her is not a covenant or marriage in His eyes.

Still

Stillhurtingnot, I am most DEFINITELY STANDING for my marriage...

I got so excited when I read your post to me...I think its a real Godsend!!...I have been doubting my stand the last few days...cos I see no change...

Yes, I don't tell people that I'm standing for my marriage either,they won't understand....my boys and a very good Christian friend knows...my eldest gets upset with me cos he feels I must move on...I have told my boys so that they can see how God moves in our lives and that miracles do happen...
I have told XH this too in a letter and he says he understands....I was unsure wether to tell him but then that is where my faith and belief comes into play.....Faith has feet and we must step out the boat....IMO...

I agree with you,its the hardest thing I've ever done too...it would be easier to just get angry with him...and move on to someone else.It is through suffering that we test our faith in God...not when things are going smoothly in our lives.

I have had my own "signs" that Charlyne talks about come into my life....as you say you just know its what you meant to do.....
There are days when I think I'm going nuts and wonder if I should carry on and then a daily devotional from Bob or Charlynne lifts me up again!

Thank you so much for keeping me in your prayers...I'll do the same for you....I'm glad that I inadvertently was able to help you find Charlynne.

Imagine, thanks for your concerns about me...but I don't think its wrong to marry a non-believer or to "chase after" a non-believer.

Hope,

I am so glad that it was your thread that I read first about Charlyne Cares. I agree many days the daily devotional lifts my spirits and gives me the strength to keep going.

Last Easter I also sent my WH a card to explain my stand to him, although he just thanked me for the card. I told him that although in the eyes of our state we are no longer married, in the eyes of God and our faith we are still married for life. That I would honor those vows I made. That I pray for him and love him.

Recently standing has gotten really hard... so many days I want to give up because of all the circumstances happening. Trying hard not to lose what love I have left. Some days it feels like I'm in the red. And I remember that sometimes the storm is greatest before our miracle.

The prayer I find myself repeating several times a day is God please remove OW and any other ungodly relationship from WH life now, suddenly and quickly. I pray for all prodigals that are in non-convenant relationships and marriages that they hear and obey Your perfect truth about thier counterfit marriage and relationships. Pleas rescue my beloved WH from the darkness of evil and bring him to the light of Your love.

Keep the faith Hope and know there is someone on the other side of the world praying for both our prodigals.

Still

Hope and Still,

Supposing I were to pray for the renovation of your husbands soul and God were to hear me and change their lives, what then?

They would honour their present marriage and both of you would still be stranded.

Shall I pray for the destruction of the OW (I'm very tempted to do this) but it is wrong.

It is clear to me that you have had strong association with your husbands and that they are clearly desirable to you. Hope I hate it when your xWH plays those mind games with you - almost promising reconciliation.

Hope, you have probably put me into the category of those friends that wish you to give up hope on "dad". I absolutely understand what it is to be so associated to your partner. I have mourned loss, but without the long relationship that you have endured.

Forgive me, but I am going to continue praying that you meet a lovely Christian husband who will be a spiritual example to you and your kids.

Imagine,

My exWH is not married and the marriage that Hopes's exWH is in is not seen as a marriage in the eyes of God. God still see it for what it is adultry. So yes pray for them to come to thier senses.
No I agree don't pray for destruction for thew OW, vengence belongs to the Lord. But pray for them also to also find God. I pray for hedges of thornbuhes around the OW and also exWH.

Imagine yes pray for that christian man because it just may be Hope's H that God transform into the man Hope deserves. For nothing is impossible for God, although it must be in his perfect timing.

Still

I do not want to be right. I am sensitive to your feelings.

Whether spiritual yoking was unequal whether she was married or not, scripture is accurate now to let an unbelieving partner go.

Yes, her marriage was accepted as a marriage. He has now partnered another. Her marriage is now void.

I repeat what I said from my last post, were he reconciled to God now, his existing marriage would have precedent and put him into the same condition as Hopenpray as she were Christian and married to an unbeliever.

An unbeliever has nothing to tie them to a vow before God in Church. They do not know God.

My hope was before he remarried that he would be converted. I am sad that this did not happen.

If someone can show me scripture different to my thinking I would rejoice. While I may empathise with Hope, I'm not Hope.

I chatted to our pastor. He endorses my advise. He advises a couple of extras.

He suggests that it is an unwise thing to look for a new partner at this time. The hurt is very real and puts the betrayed party under stress that may bring unwholesome decisions. He suggests for the sake of the children that no new parties enter the arena. Be a godly example to these kids.

He enforced that the marriage between xWH and OW, although of illegitimate union, is still a marriage. Union with xWH after he divorced himself from OW would become another illegitimate union.

Do not blame yourself for WH's unwise choices. He has been stringing you along. Continue to Plan B xWH, do not let overtures from him affect you.

I'm afraid I must join with those who asked you to shed no more tears for WH and commit your energies into your children.

I repeat, I have admired your dedication and I have mourned with you. Now, in the prime of life, to become celibate - can you do it?

Imagine,

Good morning, need to make this quick as need to finish getting ready for work. Just wanted to ask you to check out Rejoice Marriage Ministries to understand where Hope and I are coming from. There are Standers all around the world praying for thier Prodigals to come back to God and thier homes.

Lent has just begun and standers are fasting, praying, and reflecting on our own sins and the souls of our loved ones. Please take a minute to check it out.

Thank-you
Still

Still, thanks for explaining "standing" so nicely to Imagine.I am with you completely....I am going to fast one meal(lunch) a day for Lent... which is the hardest meal for me to go without.

Imagine, I don't mean to sound righteous when I say that you have no idea what a BS goes through, as much as you can maybe relate to it, until you have experienced the emotions, you cannot comprehend what its like...you are fortunate to not be a BS.

I would most probably have the same mind set that you have if I was an observer too.I know you only mean well with your advice...

I agree with your Pastor...I will not date yet for two reasons...I have no interest in dating yet and I won't put my DS16 in that situation as he is just starting to come to terms with things his dad has done.

Hope,

No need to thank me. I have been fasting one meal a day since before Thanksgiving. I think what I might try to do for Lent is fast 2 meals. I have also given up pizza that is my favorite. Today in Charlyne cares it talked about praying even harder before Easter and I'm doing my best. But as I'm sure you know that there are many days I get so discouraged because I'm not seeing any change. I keep reminding myself that God is working although we cannot see it.
My exWH was at Ash Wednsday mass last night, I was surprised and I praised God that he may really hear the point of Lent, to get closer to God and repent for our sins.
I have to respectfully diagree with Imagines' paster about the affairage of your ex God doesn't see that as a convenant. And if and when your ex does come home God will be rejoicing even more than we will be.

I have to ask you about the signs you have been given, can you share? I also have had signs that I know were from God. There is just no other explaination for it.

I hope Imagine does check out rejoice and continues to pray for both of us.

I checked out the early pages of your thread and I have posted to you before. Have you been able to get any of the books that the Steinkamps have written. I have a few and also some of the teaching tapes. I also bought Finding the way Home and gave it to my ex on what would of been our 24th wedding anniversary. I prayed along time after getting it to give it to him at the right moment. It was even signed by Bob. He inscribed it Still, God still can. I cried when I read that.

I'm keeping you in my prayers along with many others here.

Still

Still, you are amazing to have been fasting for so long now....

I don't have any of Bobs books but I do listen to their radio show through my computer sometimes.I haven't seen their books here in S.A.

As for signs....I get rhemas in my Scripture readings mostly.
Recently I asked God to show me a sign that I would know for sure that it wasn't my wishful thinking but from Him.I had been staggering in my stand.That same day I had to fetch DS19's girlfriend and we were running late.I seemed to get stuck behind every slow-moving truck along the way..its about a 45 min drive.As we got close to our destination,a huge truck with the word RESTORER written on the back, pulled in front of me...I just knew that instant it was my sign.Now I know people will think I'm crazy and will most probably feel sorry for me....don't!!

Two days later I stopped in traffic and glanced at the building alongside me.On it was written