What in the world are you talking about and what does any of this have to do with scrambledeggs?

And yet he did NONE of those things


So what?

6Years, my H told the OM's W, when he exposed to her, that the OM was very lucky my H hadn't turned up on his doorstep and punched his nose. I guess that could be considered a threat but it would be a very stupid OM who took things any further. (ie made a complaint).

My H is the most mild mannered gentle man you could ever meet, but he's also not a pushover.

Melody,

Yes, Mike did not threaten the OM and he still had problems because the OM was a jerk. This OM could cause similar problems or more, if he wanted to.

I'm never going to convince you that your argument seems like you view the spouse as property that was stolen to me. Although the "good grief" was compelling, I'm just not in favor of vigilante justice.

I know of what 6 is referring to MikeC's and it does demonstrates what can happen when anger is misdirected. There is a delicate balance and MikeC took his anger towards OM to far. Scramble could have taken it further but did not. 6 I think you're trying to make the point - that it is risky taking anger out towards OP, especially when BS is very angry.

GG

I think this has entered the arena of the absurd and scrambledeggs should ignore some of the bizarre posts here. SE, you did a good thing standing up to the OM and setting him straight. And your anger towards the OM is absolutely warranted. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

6years, what is the point of all this? It seems like you are striving to make the situation WORSE for this couple by trying to make this man feel he has done something wrong. He most certainly has not. I am not getting the point here.

KiwiJ,

I agree it would be stupid, and OM would have to be a jerk to do it. Of course, I already suspect he was not of the highest morals.

I'm not a pushover, in fact I've spent years learning to kill with my hands. I would have no problem using that if a woman were being attacked, or even a man. Consensual relations are not something I'm going to get violent over.

And you know very well Mike was not charged with any crime. Yet here you are trying to SPIN the facts and trying to scare this man into thinking he has done something illegal.


I have no idea what this nonsense means and don't even care to know.

and yet no-one has suggested violence as the solution. For a lawyer you sure do suck at comprehension.

The point is to take some time now and prepare for the anger he will feel toward his WW. Then he will be better in control of himself and have a better chance at recovery instead of AO or DJ's to his wife.

Him DEFLECTING his post-dday anger to OM enables him to do EXACTLY this.

OK I give,

If you all are suggesting empty (no violence) threats to the OM is the right thing and the MB way, fine with me. I didn't do a good job at MB anyway.

I'm done with the TJ, but I'll keep reading in case Scrambled wants a different BH perspective.

I have absolutely no problem scaring OM. And I was careful in the choosing of my words and who was able to hear. What are the odds an adulterous man is going to go to the police after a BH tells him to stay away and watch his back?! His word against mine, no witnesses, neighbor in the PD. I think those are pretty good odds. Not against using violence either, that's how we win wars, and I'm battling for my marriage. Of course I'm angry at OM... he pursued a married woman, my woman.

And I think I made it very clear that I'm also angry at my W... "moments of intense hatred." She and I know very well she made a choice, she agreed to meet him, agreed to get in the backseat of his car, etc. I hold her responsible for that, AA (appropriate anger, add that to the acronym list).

I hope he peed his pants when he saw you scrambledeggs. We run over the SOBs here in Texas.

Hi, ScrambledEgg. I'm sorry you're here, but under the circumstances I'm glad you are.

There are a couple of things going on here now -- advising your W as she processes what she did, and trying to help you with the devastating news you just recieved. I'm concerned that there are going to be too many conversations going on among many people who will address different issues between the two of you. Would you consider starting your own thread?

Just a suggestion.

Wow, I take a nap, get the kids ready for bed, pick up the house and come back here to popcorn, mental patients, $20 and a hot debate :MrEEk:

Let ME set the record straight:

My H is mad at me. Very, very mad. There are moments when I see in his eyes "the edge" of his anger. I see this and cringe, as this is an anger that I've only seen once before in our 12 years of marriage (a time when I crossed "the line" in an argument we were having and deserved the anger I aroused in him). I now see that anger daily, and it breaks my heart. And what does my DH do with this anger--he controls it, which shames me all the more--I didn't control my intense anger, now did I?

My H truly is a man of honor and standing up to the pr*ck that was part of the most horrible thing that's ever happened to him (H) was not a shadow on my H's character, but a mark of it. I respect my H for what he's done.

If you're not on anti-depressants, would you consider taking them? And what about independent counseling (IC)? I didn't want to take anti-Ds at all, but I was encourged to do so and I know they've made a difference and have helped me a lot. Listen to the others about counseling with the Harleys and/or an MB weekend, but don't overlook your personal health.

This is so cool.

Always pick your H over us MB peeps.

AGREE with every word!

Hey - I resemble those remarks!

6yl

How convient to not answer all of the question I possed to you.

Is it because the answers you would have to give would force you to see that you have this situation butt backwards?

SE, is doing what he should.