This is the kind of thing that causes men to grow up and seek damsels in distress and develop the "White Knight Syndrome".

The associate love with being protective and then seek out women who tend to be messes. Happened to me.

Just letting you know the potential long term affects of a situation where a young boy sees himself as his mother's protector.

SHE should be protecting HIM.

Remind him that he is not his mother's protector. He's a child and should enjoy being one.

I WISH OW would try to boss my DD14 - she'd be all up in her grill! In fact she may just rearrange OW's grill.

Poor kids! They have so much crap to deal with during all of this. It's so frustrating to watch.

Fox

SD,

Glad to see you back. You have done a fantastic job and someday the SCQ will wonder what she did. I wonder if POSOM ever got drunk and hit his ex? Sounds like he is a disaster waiting to happen.

Good luck on the job front. Keep us updated....

Hey there Guy,

I lurk fairly often, just checking on updates, not feeling much of a pull to comment or post anything. I'll just update here, and say that life is okay. I am still working toward getting to AZ, but I'm waiting until after the D to find a job. My final court appearance is next Monday, and that should seal the deal. No huge emotions over it. I didn't get married to get divorced; 'nuf said; I think y'all get what I'm sayin.

As for the POSOM, well, SCQ would hear from me in a heartbeat if I thought he was stepping out of line. She'd know in no uncertain terms that he'd be toast if he laid one mangy mitt on my kid.

I'm from a step-family, and as difficult as it was, my step dad made it easy by staying out of the way in terms of discipline. There were RULES in the house (his and my mom's), but that was as far as it went, enforcement was left mostly up to my mom. We have a great relationship now, born out of respect.

Now, I think my mother could have been more stern and involved, but that's a whole other thread...

Love y'all bunches. I think of you all often.

Thanks Silent. You have worded things in a way that is a bit less......abrasive than me.

My mom married another man and I have given him many kudos over knowing when to step away and when it's all cool for him to throw his two cents in the picture.

Glad to see you, SD!


It sounds like things are going pretty well for you. I don't think posom deserves the opportunity to yell at your children. Nope! Nada! None! I think I'd be ratting on him to the counselors so they will have a head's up.

Thanks, everyone.

Believe me, I was every bit as angry, but reacting from anger hasn't really gotten me anywhere. I do better when I think through the situation and react logically rather than emotionally. Plus I need an opportunity to talk about it with DD5 before doing anything.

I'm going to bring it up with the school counselor (to whom I have explained the whole situation) as well as the ILs when they are here to pick up the kids on Sunday. And I talked with DS9 about it as much as he could stand--he knows I will protect him if POSOM so much as touches him. He knows he can tell me anything ("You already TOLD me that, Dad.").

50:50 is what I have now, and things have been calm lately. The SCQ has been very accomodating. She agreed to suspend child support payments until I have found a new position without asking any details of my severance. Obviously, keeping things calm doesn't outweigh the safety of the kids, but I don't actually think they're in danger.

I didn't say anything about her coming home. Or imply it. Just implying that the current situation isn't one he's likely to have to deal with forever.

No worries, Red. POSOM is running the show over there. The SCQ is just a follower. I have had all sorts of thoughts about how to mess with him, but he can hurt me way more than I can hurt him. But don't worry--I'm not going to ignore the situation. The info from DS9 is fresh, so I'm still processing it.

She said no, although she described a situation where she could have filed sexual assault charges but didn't. It frustrated me how much she let him manipulate her without taking any significant actions, but I gather this is typical for spouses of alcoholics.

Back at you.

Well, that's pretty scary to hear. It's just a matter of time until he starts treating the SCQ the same way. Especially if she is the "follower" of the duo.

I think you are handling it the right way. Sometimes kids embellish a little, and DS may be doing that to some extent. Good that you are checking out the story totally before you react. If it warrants a reaction, then do it right.

HI Sd, just dropping in to say Hi! i'm still having trouble logging in from home and work!

I know that you ahve the sitch under control and am wishing you the best with the job hunt.

Still supporting you!
Rin

Thanks for helping me out on my thread. Nice to know that people care. Just sucks that we're here in the first place.

And I'm thankful that my kids are teenagers with teen attitudes. I shouldn't have to worry about them spending any time living with WH, OW and her 3 kids.

But I really feel for you and the others with younger kids. That breaks my heart.

Hey SD. We haven't heard from you in a few weeks. How is the job search, single life, and all things in general?

Gee SD, you promised an update. Let us know how life is after the big D.

He's probably so busy with his entourage - the Red Rubies - that he doesn't care about us any more!

I will be very surprised if he hasn't met a honey. That is very common with our wonderful MB men. If he hasn't, I'll eat my hat.

A little birdie told me he is doing some traveling with his kiddos.

WOW, I thought SD had resurfaced! I got excited for a second! Thanks for the update Fox. I'm sure that he is completely enjoying himself.

SD!??

Are you out there?

PS to S4B and others: Seeing it's only little old me , sorry if you all thought SD had resurfaced!

Thanks for asking, Luna. I'm doing well and will post an update when I think of what to say.

Hello! Glad to know you are ok.

OK, if it's that hard, how about we give you a form to fill out? (answers in red please).

Looks like you are doing well, so how are the kiddies?
Did you find a job yet?
Have you had any hot dates lately?
Have you seen the SCQ?
Is she still with POSOM?
Have you had any body piercings lately? (Queenie started a fad)

OK, it's late and I can't think of anything else to ask. Maybe others can add to it.