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BR, this is the same vacuous mentality that views silly, low brow trash like Bridges of Madison County as beautiful and romantic.  To an empty minded, vacuous person, that filth is beautiful. It is sad... Oh MelodyLane how good that is to read! I do not think I met a single woman who thought what I did when I read that book. A friend was swooning over it, lent it to me and I could not for the life of me understand how anyone could read anything good in that book. Thank goodness it was a very short and quick read. What is that saying about putting lipstick on a pig? 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I was astonished to learn all this at his funeral and asked her why she had NEVER got married since Dad didn't marry her. "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeel," she drawled in her deep Texas accent, "this niiice attorney asked me to marry him once, but G didn't think that would be a good idea."  What a pitiful stoopid woman.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
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“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Another fiction book/movie that makes me want to gag is "The Notebook". People think it is soooo romantic, but that marriage was based on an affair. The woman in that story was a flake, and my impression was that the man spent all his life catering to her vacuous, shallow whims...perhaps so that she wouldn't cheat on him?
"Your actions are so loud that I can't hear a word you're saying!"
BW M 44 yrs to still-foggy but now-faithful WH. What/how I post=my biz. Report any perceived violations to the Mods.
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Honey. If you need a handyman, hire one.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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BR, this is the same vacuous mentality that views silly, low brow trash like Bridges of Madison County as beautiful and romantic. To an empty minded, vacuous person, that filth is beautiful. It is sad... Oh MelodyLane how good that is to read! I do not think I met a single woman who thought what I did when I read that book. A friend was swooning over it, lent it to me and I could not for the life of me understand how anyone could read anything good in that book. Thank goodness it was a very short and quick read. What is that saying about putting lipstick on a pig? Hey Miss Piggy is cute. 
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Another fiction book/movie that makes me want to gag is "The Notebook". People think it is soooo romantic, but that marriage was based on an affair. The woman in that story was a flake, and my impression was that the man spent all his life catering to her vacuous, shallow whims...perhaps so that she wouldn't cheat on him? I am guilty of this one.  The woman cheated but she wasn't guilty of adultery. You can flog me now. :twobyfour:
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Another fiction book/movie that makes me want to gag is "The Notebook". People think it is soooo romantic, but that marriage was based on an affair. The woman in that story was a flake, and my impression was that the man spent all his life catering to her vacuous, shallow whims...perhaps so that she wouldn't cheat on him? I am guilty of this one. The woman cheated but she wasn't guilty of adultery. You can flog me now. :twobyfour: Huh? 
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Nor am I a home wrecker -- my lover's marriage is still intact. What do I get? A wonderful lover, best friend and someone who helps me out around my home. The other woman is not evil, a tramp or a whore. You could be her one day. She's just someone who is as lonely as the man is. Tell wives to protect their marriage, to swallow their pride, admit there are issues that need resolving and work through them. And one more thing: Don't think you will never be in my shoes. -- THE OTHER WOMAN, ANYWHERE, U.S.A.[/color]  :twobyfour: This justification makes me want to puke. Talk about living in lala land. She is a home wrecker. The wife just doesn't know it yet. She has someone else's wonderful lover, someone elses best friend that should be working on his own house. The OW is evil, she is a tramp, and she is a whore. I will never be her one day. I was lonely when my husband was cheating and I fought for my marriage until I figured out what was wrong. I didn't go steal someone else's husband because mine was missing or distant. I am sorry if you are the OW reading this. My pain is too fresh to feel compassion for anyone who can justify this kind of behavior.
Over it.
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Huh what? I like the movie. Adultery wasn't commited but the woman, Ali, was guilty of cheating on her fiance so there is an ick factor.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Huh what? I like the movie. Adultery wasn't commited but the woman, Ali, was guilty of cheating on her fiance so there is an ick factor. Oh. Having never seen the movie or read the book, I did not understand. Now I get it. 
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
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“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Huh what? I like the movie. Adultery wasn't commited but the woman, Ali, was guilty of cheating on her fiance so there is an ick factor. Oh. Having never seen the movie or read the book, I did not understand. Now I get it. I used to love The Thorn Birds when I was a teen. :twobyfour: But LONG before H's A I saw so many things wrong with that movie.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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'Other woman' advises wives on how to care for marriage
DEAR ABBY: I am the "other woman." I never in a million years thought I'd be in this position. I had been divorced for several years. I should have run the other way once I learned that my lover was married, but I was lonely. I wanted to feel like a woman again -- someone a man found attractive and would like to spend time with.
Some things I have come to understand as the other woman: If husbands and wives treated each other as well as they do their best friends, there would be fewer affairs and cheating spouses. I don't consider myself a "mistress." There is no exchange of money, cars, jewels, furs and no condo or apartment for my use. Nor am I a home wrecker -- my lover's marriage is still intact. What do I get? A wonderful lover, best friend and someone who helps me out around my home.
[color:#000000]We give each other our undivided attention when we're together. We make the most of every opportunity we have to enjoy each other's company. I can't imagine life without him. We please and give to each other during our lovemaking. I believe we came into each other's lives for a reason.
Please advise men and women to love each other even when it hurts. Don't let issues fester into sores. Make love with your spouse even if it's not your cup of tea. Sex is a glue that can keep your marriage together. This connection brings a closeness words cannot describe. Don't lose that with your spouse. You'll long to have it back one day.
The other woman is not evil, a tramp or a whore. You could be her one day. She's just someone who is as lonely as the man is. Tell wives to protect their marriage, to swallow their pride, admit there are issues that need resolving and work through them. And one more thing: Don't think you will never be in my shoes. -- THE OTHER WOMAN, ANYWHERE, U.S.A.[/color] Anyone else disturbed by her free use of MB terminology/principles? I don't know, maybe this stuff is widely known to the general population, but to articulate it so succinctly in MB-speak is a surprise.
Me - 30 (FWW)
H - 30 (BH)
DSx2
D-day: 2008
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B_S2008:
Anyone else disturbed by her free use of MB terminology/principles? I don't know, maybe this stuff is widely known to the general population, but to articulate it so succinctly in MB-speak is a surprise.
Actually, this doesn't bother me at all. As I've been pointing out to my FWW for a while, MB isn't Rocket Science -- it's really just common sense distilled into usable form.
I consider it Newton's apple for relationships. Just because it's common sense, doesn't mean it's not remarkable. Paraphrasing George Orwell, the toughest thing in the world is seeing what's in front of one's own nose.
BH 52
FWW 50
S26 S24
EA 3/07-1/09
PA 5/07-10/08
NC finally established after eight false starts: 1/23/09
Final Version of Events 6/09
In a solid Recovery, and lucky beyond belief.
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What happened as a result of their 4 days together in The Bridges of Madison County was that Francesca and Robert froze in time. He continued to wear her pendant and use the same camera equipment for the next 20 years and she stayed in the house long after it was sensible to leave. Their punishment for their affair, passionate though it might have been, was what they did to themselves for the rest of their lives, what they put themselves through for the rest of their lives.
Such is the way with affairs. Passionate though they might appear to be, they do damage to everyone, not only the person and the lover but when the truth comes out, from the wife to the kids to the relatives to the friends. No matter how passionate they might be, affairs just aren't worth the bother they cause and the woman who wrote to Dear Abby was totally delusional. Her justification of her behaviour was utterly pathetic. Also, she was totally selfish, thinking only of her lover, not of the havoc that would be wrecked after discovery day.
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B_S2008:
Anyone else disturbed by her free use of MB terminology/principles? I don't know, maybe this stuff is widely known to the general population, but to articulate it so succinctly in MB-speak is a surprise.
Actually, this doesn't bother me at all. As I've been pointing out to my FWW for a while, MB isn't Rocket Science -- it's really just common sense distilled into usable form.
I consider it Newton's apple for relationships. Just because it's common sense, doesn't mean it's not remarkable. Paraphrasing George Orwell, the toughest thing in the world is seeing what's in front of one's own nose. AOTC, I agree, so much of it IS common sense. And the George Orwell quote is very appropriate. I was thinking more of the choice of terminology - but you're right, regardless, that this is common sense. Remarkable, but common sense nontheless.
Me - 30 (FWW)
H - 30 (BH)
DSx2
D-day: 2008
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RE: The Notebook. I guess I was wrong, then. I thought the woman WAS married!
"Your actions are so loud that I can't hear a word you're saying!"
BW M 44 yrs to still-foggy but now-faithful WH. What/how I post=my biz. Report any perceived violations to the Mods.
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What was Abby's response?
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B_S2008,
I'm still trying to figure out why they call it common sense. It seems to be anything but common.
If it was common, none of us would be going through this crap in the first place!
BH 52
FWW 50
S26 S24
EA 3/07-1/09
PA 5/07-10/08
NC finally established after eight false starts: 1/23/09
Final Version of Events 6/09
In a solid Recovery, and lucky beyond belief.
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What was Abby's response? Here ya go Cinders...Hope posted it earlier in the thread... Abby's response: Dear Other Woman: That's good advice. Now allow me to offer some to you. I, too, believe your lover came into your life for a reason. He was bored, you were needy and both of you were vulnerable.
The times your lover steals to be with you are hours he should be spending with his family. The passion he devotes to you guarantees that his energies won't be spent working on his marital problems.
You may be "best friends," but when the chips are down where do you think your lover will be? With his wife, his family and his money, Honey. If you need a handyman, hire one. And now that you know what mistakes NOT to make in a relationship, find a man who can be 100 percent yours and pray he has more character than your lover does. Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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