Just read this misguided Dear Abby column. I am going to respond back to dearabby.com. This is why these woman think it is "ok" to have these affairs.

T'Other woman' advises wives on how to care for marriage

DEAR ABBY: I am the "other woman." I never in a million years thought I'd be in this position. I had been divorced for several years. I should have run the other way once I learned that my lover was married, but I was lonely. I wanted to feel like a woman again -- someone a man found attractive and would like to spend time with.

Some things I have come to understand as the other woman: If husbands and wives treated each other as well as they do their best friends, there would be fewer affairs and cheating spouses. I don't consider myself a "mistress." There is no exchange of money, cars, jewels, furs and no condo or apartment for my use. Nor am I a home wrecker -- my lover's marriage is still intact. What do I get? A wonderful lover, best friend and someone who helps me out around my home.

We give each other our undivided attention when we're together. We make the most of every opportunity we have to enjoy each other's company. I can't imagine life without him. We please and give to each other during our lovemaking. I believe we came into each other's lives for a reason.

Please advise men and women to love each other even when it hurts. Don't let issues fester into sores. Make love with your spouse even if it's not your cup of tea. Sex is a glue that can keep your marriage together. This connection brings a closeness words cannot describe. Don't lose that with your spouse. You'll long to have it back one day.

The other woman is not evil, a tramp or a whore. You could be her one day. She's just someone who is as lonely as the man is. Tell wives to protect their marriage, to swallow their pride, admit there are issues that need resolving and work through them. And one more thing: Don't think you will never be in my shoes. -- THE OTHER WOMAN, ANYWHERE, U.S.A.
:twobyfour:

When you reply, invite her here.

I think that she actually and truly believes she is doing us a favour. Nuts.

What was Abby's reply?

At the risk of being 2x4'd out of here, I will respond and say that I didn't get that out of that letter. Of course she's the other woman and that in itself is digusting, reprehensible and every other vile word I can think of.

However.

The advice she is giving could have been lifted out of the MB Handbook. I read it as her telling women how to affair-proof their marriages so pond-scum like her wouldn't have an opportunity.

And lastly, when it's all said and done, remember, OW or not, at least in the case of this letter, she is single. Her lover is married. I place way more blame on his shoulders than hers.

Thats sort of like taking advice on honesty from an embezzler. An OW who can't get a man to marry her is hardly qualified to lecture others on how to have a good marriage. She just knows how to put out for free, not how to foster a healthy marriage. A monkey can put out; it takes no brains or talent.

This is the part that I was referring too. I should have quoted it.

Not only is she an evil tramp, but she is dishonest and delusional. Engaging in sexual relations with a married man is evil and the definition of "TRAMP" is:

tramp  18. a sexually promiscuous woman; prostitute.

She would also be properly defined as:

wh*re   /hɔr, hoʊr or, often, hʊər/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [hawr, hohr or, often, hoor] Show IPA noun, verb, whored, whor⋅ing.
–noun 1. a woman who engages in promiscuous sexual intercourse, usually for money; prostitute; harlot; strumpet.

t/j
Melody, could you pop over to Recovery and give chitchat some advice. Thank you
t/j

Surely not! She is after all in lurve, remember? :crosseyedcrazy:

The fact that this woman is ACCEPTING this behavior from this little man tells the story right there!

IT's clearly saying that she doesn't think herself worthy of having a man to herself...

cheap!

Disgusting!

THere are plenty of roaches out there that will feed on anything that they can find...

And when the M does break up becasue the BS got a clue, she will be saying that it's not her fault...she had nothing to do with it...

LMAO

OW: Who needs money, cars, jewelry and the like when I can slurp up whatever sloppy seconds fall to the floor like a dog? But I'm no tramp.

In Texas we call that "puttin out for free." DUH!

It makes me sad to see women degrade themselves in such a way. This woman reduces herself to nothing more than a c*ckroach who is chasing some other woman's crumbs. She cheapens her value to less than a prostitute. At least a prostitute gets something for her services. To make matters worse, she is not bright enough to comprehend that she has nothing to crow about.

I don't get it either. Why in the world would you be proud of being someone's OW? If it's so great she should have signed her name to the letter. But that might ruin her fantasyreality.

BR, this is the same vacuous mentality that views silly, low brow trash like Bridges of Madison County as beautiful and romantic. To an empty minded, vacuous person, that filth is beautiful. It is sad...

By the way here was Abby's answer. I was so focused on the dribble from this misguided train wreck...


Dear Other Woman: That's good advice. Now allow me to offer some to you. I, too, believe your lover came into your life for a reason. He was bored, you were needy and both of you were vulnerable.

The times your lover steals to be with you are hours he should be spending with his family. The passion he devotes to you guarantees that his energies won't be spent working on his marital problems.

You may be "best friends," but when the chips are down where do you think your lover will be? With his wife, his family and his money, Honey. If you need a handyman, hire one. And now that you know what mistakes NOT to make in a relationship, find a man who can be 100 percent yours and pray he has more character than your lover does.


Good advice Abby

Perfect!

I can only imagine what Abby REALLY wanted to say.

Oh MelodyLane how good that is to read! I do not think I met a single woman who thought what I did when I read that book. A friend was swooning over it, lent it to me and I could not for the life of me understand how anyone could read anything good in that book. Thank goodness it was a very short and quick read.

It never ceases to amaze me what people can spin in their mind to make something wrong seem so right.

In college I was a philosophy major and the majority of the professors were athiest. We would have these grand discussions rationalizing why God cannot exist. They would challenge us to go through all the arguments and pick them apart.

Funny thing is many of my fellow classmates would often fall right in line with profs, and say "there is no God." My reply...have fun with that. When you die you become worm food and that's pretty much it. When I die, I'm going some place better

It's just in people's nature to rationalize and justify their actions. Morals be damned becasue I want to do this...because it makes me *feel* good, blah, blah, blah.

There is one line from that letter that I do think we can take from this...

"If husbands and wives treated each other as well as they do their best friends, there would be fewer affairs and cheating spouses"

Yes, I agree with this line, but it must be taken totally out of context from her letter. This line speaks directly to undivided attention, meeting ENs, etc. It's good.

But the rest of the letter is a load of horse-hooey. Abby should have broken her foot off in this womans [censored].

When my father died, I discovered that his latest "girlfriend" was actually his mistress of 35 years. When we cleaned out his apartment, there was a drawer full of UNOPENED CARDS going back 25+ years from the mistress.

My dad would dump her on and off over the years and she would send him long rambling love letters and cards. And what did he do? He just tossed them in a drawer UNOPENED. That is how much he "cared" for her. During their long affair, he was married to SIX DIFFERENT WOMEN. He wouldn't marry her.

The longest contiguous amount of time he ever endured her was in the last 5 years of his life when he became terminally ill. That is when we kids became aware of her because she started sending us Christmas cards and birthday cards and seemed to know us. Well, she did in a way. She met some of us when our dad took us into the bank when we were kids. She had been hearing about us for 35 years.

I was astonished to learn all this at his funeral and asked her why she had NEVER got married since Dad didn't marry her. "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeel," she drawled in her deep Texas accent, "this niiice attorney asked me to marry him once, but G didn't think that would be a good idea."



Whatta life, huh??