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Melodylane...i know very well that my husband gone be thrown to jail if i reported. And i tell you he is lucky i haven't called the cops on him...because if i did that he would loose his job too. I have got some good advice here and tomorrow i will talk to my husband and see whats next and maybe he can talk in a calm way. Good. He needs to knock that crap right off, Shule. That is the first step. And I would be FIRM with him about that. I do hope you get those books I recommended and start using them in your marriage. That will protect you BOTH and teach you BOTH to consider each others feelings when making any decisions.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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"This is not a cultural thing."
Your saying this is why it is important you answer charlotte's question.
I have travelled and studied African cultures for many years, particularly sub-saharan ones.
Women are chattel in most of these countries and are treated very badly. If you were brought here under false circumstances or pretenses that is obviously a real concern.
That is why I would like to know.
I wish you well.
PS None of us has the capability to track and find out who you are. Erase the history in your internet explorer.
Last edited by sickwithworry; 03/15/09 09:16 PM.
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Sickwithworry....sorry my dear. Am a smart lady. I wasn't brought to the states by anybody. I came here myself and i meet my husband while here in the states. So throw away the crazy thoughts you have in your head. Its just so interesting how people can be so shallow just because somebody is from Africa. Nobody demands anything from me and especially if i don't know you. Got it?
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Women are chattel in most of these countries and are treated very badly. If you were brought here under false circumstances or pretenses that is obviously a real concern.
That is why I would like to know. Yeah, mine was along those same lines, sort of. I was thinking mail-order bride. There was a case where a man was getting mail-order brides and when he decided he was tired of them or they weren't bending to his will the way he planned, he got rid of them. He was finally caught, though, thank goodness. I don't know how common this is in Africa, though. I know it is in places like Russia and the Phillipines. Heck, even Alaska! Charlotte
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That was really rude and uncalled for, Shule. People are trying to help you, but they need to understand your situation before they can.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Sickwithworry....sorry my dear. Am a smart lady. I wasn't brought to the states by anybody. I came here myself and i meet my husband while here in the states. So throw away the crazy thoughts you have in your head. Its just so interesting how people can be so shallow just because somebody is from Africa. Nobody demands anything from me and especially if i don't know you. Got it? No one is being shallow. It's just the brutal truth. Charlotte
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Okay...what did I do THIS time???  Charlotte 'taint ewe But I don't have a ewe to taint!! OOOOOOOooooohhhhhhhh....WHEW!!!  Charlotte Oh baby...EWWWEE...EWE got what I neeeeedddd...  
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Sickwithworry....sorry my dear. Am a smart lady. I wasn't brought to the states by anybody. I came here myself and i meet my husband while here in the states. So throw away the crazy thoughts you have in your head. Its just so interesting how people can be so shallow just because somebody is from Africa. Nobody demands anything from me and especially if i don't know you. Got it? I wasn't demanding...dear. I was concerned, not shallow. Having spent many years in Africa I think my concerns were valid, sorry you don't appreciate them. By the way, YOU came here looking for help and then rudely refused to answer a very pertinent, yet simple question...dear. You obviously have all this figured out since you are "smart lady," so I have no idea why you would need the help of simpletons from an infidelity board. So sorry. But, thanks for partially finally answering Charlotte's question.
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Thats the truth. People in this country (most of them) are very ignorate and take what they read and run with it, without doing any kind of research. I have been in America for a long time to know how people are here. I do understand that people want to help me but don't be rude by saying ...what little one knows about Africa. I wasn't a mail-in bride..and i know what charlotte is taking about because there was even a show on Tyra about that. I also have family from my home country in other states. So its not that i am in a situation i can't help myself out. I know my rights.
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Having spent many years in Africa... Do they have KFC there?
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Thats the truth. People in this country (most of them) are very ignorate and take what they read and run with it, without doing any kind of research. Just a word to the wise, this is an AMERICAN website and these are AMERICANS who are posting to you. It would not be WISE to insult them as IGNORANT and SHALLOW if you expect to get much help here. You are not likely to get far pulling that crap. It was not rude to ask you how you got here in light of the fact that it is not uncommon for American men to get women from abroad and then abuse them. It was a legitimate question.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Omg, i can't believe this! Its ok for Americans to say anything else they want to say and others just listen to them? I didn't insult anybody..the truth always hurts. Everybody knows themselves better than nobody else...so if you are not ingorant or shallow why do you feel insulted?
And this is the same thing with my husband...everything he says he refuses to American way of doing things. I lived in the UK for a couple of years, and i have never heard of people who always think so much about themselves. Self centered.
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Omg, i can't believe this! Its ok for Americans to say anything else they want to say and others just listen to them? I didn't insult anybody..the truth always hurts. Everybody knows themselves better than nobody else...so if you are not ingorant or shallow why do you feel insulted?
And this is the same thing with my husband...everything he says he refuses to American way of doing things. I lived in the UK for a couple of years, and i have never heard of people who always think so much about themselves. Self centered. Shule, You are very funny. I think your husband has his hands full. Thanks for wasting my time. I hope you stay safe and figure out your problems. as the AOL voice says... "Good Bye"
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This is a waste of time..
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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tl here on Neak's computer: OK, Shule, gotcha. This American accepts that your assessment of us is that we are "self-centered", "shallow", and "ignorant". So here's what I recommend for you. Go to another website, preferably from another country, or even another continent--I'm sure you can find one free of that nasty American taint if you look hard enough--where the posters are of sufficient depth, wisdom, and interest in others that they can give you advice of true value and worth, as opposed to the mindless, driveling dreck that we've managed to offer you so far.
tl
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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as opposed to the mindless, driveling dreck that we've managed to offer you so far.
tl Why, thank you so very much, tl. Shule, I agree that you should probably go to a non-American website for help since you think so poorly of Americans. Maybe someone less shallow and self centered like the FRENCH.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Omg, i can't believe this! Its ok for Americans to say anything else they want to say and others just listen to them? I didn't insult anybody..the truth always hurts. Everybody knows themselves better than nobody else...so if you are not ingorant or shallow why do you feel insulted?
And this is the same thing with my husband...everything he says he refuses to American way of doing things. I lived in the UK for a couple of years, and i have never heard of people who always think so much about themselves. Self centered. Yep. This is America. We have freedom of speech here. And ML is right...there are plenty of men who take advantage of women from other countries. To be fair, there are women who do the same thing to men, you just don't hear about it as much. People are insulted because they want to HELP you. Seems you are more interested in bashing Americans than obtaining any help for yourself, IMO. Good luck. I hope you find the answers you are looking for. Charlotte
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Charlotte you are a follower with a very loud mouth. I bet all you is a housewife who sits at home and do nothing. YOu all will not hear from me again. I see why you are all in this site anyone...been cheated on or cheated on somebody. You all deserve what you all got. Am out!
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Charlotte there are so many other countries have freedom of speech too...its not just America. Do some reading!!!! Seems you got a lot to catch up on before you can be a leader in anything.
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Say hi to the ladies at TOW! 
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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