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Re: "We have a problem" - Dr Harley
Pepperband #2592297 01/31/12 10:56 AM
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Originally Posted by Pepperband
Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Pepperband,

Any ideas on how to ask your spouse if they have any complaints?

I have asked it like that but I always get "everything is fine".

I was hoping you might have some ideas for me on how to ask and actually get an answer?

Thanks.

Do the love busters questionnaire.
Then, exchange lists.

I was aware (after last nights dineer conversation/complaining) that I am STILL love busting with independent behaviors doh2 . Now, my H did not use those exact words .... but it is what it is.

Progress, not perfection.
But I need some work!
Habits sneak back in.

I'm going to re-do the L-B questionnaire myself.

Awww, thanks. That's an excellent idea. Now if I can actually get him to do them!!!

FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
Re: "We have a problem" - Dr Harley
BrainHurts #2592311 01/31/12 11:28 AM
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Posts: 35,996
Shrek's Swamp
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Pepperband
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Shrek's Swamp
Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Awww, thanks. That's an excellent idea. Now if I can actually get him to do them!!!

Offer him a "reward" later that night. wink

LINK ~~> Carrot/Stick of Plan A

LINK ~~> Buyers/Renters/Freeloaders
Re: "We have a problem" - Dr Harley
Pepperband #2592326 01/31/12 11:51 AM
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BrainHurts Offline
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Originally Posted by Pepperband
Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Awww, thanks. That's an excellent idea. Now if I can actually get him to do them!!!

Offer him a "reward" later that night. wink


EXCELLENT!!!! Thanks again.

FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
Re: "We have a problem" - Dr Harley
BrainHurts #2592349 01/31/12 12:48 PM
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 270
NY Tri-State Area
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The renters and buyers analogy really hits home for me!

Also, I was always taught that I should be accepted for who I am. Hogwash.........people CAN change.

Why should one spouse abuse another because of something that happened in the past?

Me: WW41
Hubby: BH40...My Amazing forgiving man (CharpyTest)
DD: 8 DS: 8 DD: 6
EA/PA: 3 years
May 25, 2011 (Formal NC letter sent)
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