My divorce became final earlier this month. I was doing great, ready for closure. 4 days later I find out that the OW who he is living with is 3 months pregnant. All the pain came back with a vengence. I feel so sorry for myself and for our children. And now, I have the added stress that he will probably have his child support lowered since he will have another child to support. I am just barely able to make it with what is ordered now, it just seems so unfair. And get this, he and this OW created this baby while he was under contempt orders for failure to pay!!!! At least I do feel karma worked in a way that I never expected...my ex left me and our two little kids to be young and carefree again, no mortgage, no bills, no responsibility, unfortunetly he chose a teenager, she is 19, uneducated, never had a job, he will be supporting her and he is back to paying bills and responsiblity to children. I just wonder if its hit him yet.

sadmother,

I'm so sorry to hear this. Reality will set in soon with your ex and he will probably see what he has gotten himself into. If he hasn't already.

So sorry sad mother. My WH left me and our 3 kids for OW who's been divorced twice and has 3 kids by two different daddies.

I thank God WH was fixed. The crazy OW would have jumped at the chance to have another kid with potential daddy #3. She must think of kids as "money in the bank' with child support.

Yep -- my WH wanted to be carefree and have no responsiblitiy. Now he'll end up supporting SIX kids.

Yuk, this was my nightmare, that the PQ would get preg even if she is a stick insect. I was actually releaved when snooping in his computer during the A that he had been looking at getting a vas.

Yanno, think of all that poopy bottoms, milky vomit, middle of the night wake ups, teething, toodler tantrums.....

Bet you don't miss that. I bet he'll wish he could soon enuff

Thanks guys for replying. When I have to deal with my ex's behavior and actions, its good to talk to someone who has been through it.

My H had an A with a 19 yr old and I worried every day that she might be pregnant. It wasn't until a couple of months ago that I stopped worrying. It's sad that we have to worry about something like that.

Your ex will realize that he will be raising ANOTHER child (the OW), not just his own. That will get old FAST!

your XH is 28 and has a 19 yo GF who is pregnant?

Hoo boy, you wont be waiting long for that bus. Buy in some popcorn.

Sadmother, I am so sorry. Sorry for your kids who will be even more confused and sorry for your pain. I know the pain so well.

I just wanted to say that unless you live in some unusual place, courts do not lower the payments for the children who have a CS order in place. Instead when he breaks up with this child having a child, SHE will get less because he already pays you. I would suggest you check your state laws to make sure you are protected.

Yep I agree with that! She has already shown through past actions how immature she is. I've even heard she times him when he has to go to the store...wow... if this wasn't so devestating to me I would laugh about it. And she is a dumb kid, really, I would feel sorry for her if she had not been so mean to me and my kids. And get this his sister told me his family thinks she went off the pill on purpose as a way to push him to marry her because he never would finalize the divorce, which had been signed but never brought before the court to sign off on. And from the timeline of things it seems to be true.

I am very worried how the child support will or not change. I live in NC and I use their online calculator. I haven't gotten a chance to talk to a lawyer yet, and I will call the local child support office to get answers. But, according to the online guidelines and calculator, if my ex has another child to support that lives in his home, his gross income is lowered by, I think it was around $330.00, and therefore the percentage of support he pays along with my income is calculated, so it looks like it does go down. God I pray it doesnt.

She wouldnt be the first...

SM...*hugs*

I feel for you and your children and I know that it will be hard for you to have them go see their dad with OW around. Has she had anything to do with them?

We live in a small town,and me and my kids see her from time to time, at the store or driving down the road. She likes to yell, be vulger, use her finger, its so awful..so embarrasing...this girl has problems. But as far as visitation, my ex has never wanted to see them, missed birthdays, holidays, my son even was in the hospital (tonsils) and he never even called. It will be 2 years in July. However, even though the divorce was finalized, and I was given sole custody, me and ex have to go to mediation about visitation--I doubt he will ever use it though.

I am so sorry for your pain SM. That really suxs. Is there any way that you could move? I don't think I could deal with seeing OW around town, especially pregnant.

This is going to blow up big time for your EWH. What a lousy father. Love on those kids, they'll need it.

Hon...she got pg BECAUSE he wanted to be young carefree and without a mortgage.

She knew he was not in it for real.

So she got pg to give her ties to him.

Once he figures that little tidbit out, they are both in for a world of hurt.

Trust. I've seen it so many times that I'm not even surprised by it anymore.

sad mom, your child support should not change. I live in NC and when my H and I had our now 4 year old, he did go back to court for something else with his ExW and also asked to have his child support for his other children reduced and they would not do it. THey said that did not matter about the new baby. So rest assured your CS should not change.

Just FYI I didn't want him to reduce that child support, I get it from my ExH for my 2 older children and I know how important it is. I was glad it wasn't reduced for her sake...

Thanks guys- I wish I could move, it is so hard seeing either one of them, but I am tied here through my family and my job. I need both to help me with my kids so moving away would be worse on us. I am also glad to hear from sadtoheal that child support wouldn't change for me. I hope and pray that holds true for me.

Dealan-de what do you think will happen between them? Most people tell me there is no chance it will ever last. But, my ex has other people and their agendas affecting this relationship lasting. His dad and stepmom love her because they are friends with her parents (a whole other painful story for me)and both their dysfunctional parents have enabled and encouraged this relationship. His grandparents that raised him (I was very close to them) passed away before this mess happened (hmm..he was depressed and started spending time with the dad he was never close to). I keep thinking the only way he will leave is if something better comes along and I can't imagine anyone wanting him after the mess he has gotten himself into. And this girl, well, the reason she worships the ground he walks on and is so crazy in love,has to do with her self esteem issues. From what I have seen and heard about her, she is very ugly, i hope that doesn't make me sound bad or bitter but its so true! This girl was made fun of in school and never had a boyfriend except my ex. So I have accepted the damage has been done, nothing I can do to change things. I just do not want further damage to me or my children.

I think it is time for you to start developing your own precious life. IGNORE them. IGNORE the other woman. QUIT thinking a bout her. Or think about her for only 10 minutes a day.

You start developing a great life for yourself and the kids and start having so much fun and happiness that you will not even miss him and you will not worry about them.

You can do it!

>Dealan-de what do you think will happen between them?

He will end up resenting her for "trapping" him, and she will resent the resentment.

Subconciously, he will always compare her to you and she will always be lacking.

I've seen it so many times.

Move on. It is time. It does no good to worry about things you have no control over right now (child support $$$)

Do your best to make you life what you want it to be.

This rude, nasty young woman is a problem-- a huge problem BUT NOT your problem. Thank the good Lord!