Its been a few weeks and things are going really well for me. My daughter has been gaining weight and the dr. is really pleased. Now if I can get her to sleep in her bed instead of with me all the time, lol.
H has been REALLY good with me. He has started staying at the house, in the same bed with me, a few days out of the week. He says he wants to take things slow and not rush. I agree with him. I think we need to work on our M but when my A was exposed we rushed into what we thought worked and then got side tracked after I got pregnant. Now that we have a newborn we have more things to focus on, but our M isnt going to suffer this time.
He is back to his old self with me too. His mom has even noticed the change in him. Its like he was forcing himself to act all mad while he decided whether or not he wanted to be married. Now he can relax and let himself be himself. He still is a bit reserved with his mom. They had a bad arguement about what was going on and still havent completely made up.
Its wierd for me though now. I love him more than I can ever explain, but since this whole separation started ive had to change how I act around him. Now that we are working on us again and he wants to be more physical I dont know how to act. Sometimes I feel like I want to hug/kiss him like old times, but I feel reserved now b/c I wasnt able to do that for the past 3 months. I dont want him to think that I dont want to have that physical connection, but I feel like if I attempt it too much its going to push him away again. I know I should just ask him and let him know I am confused, that way he can tell me what he wants and is looking for. I just feel odd asking my husband what he wants. For so long I knew what he wanted and now its like we are dating all over again sorta.
Things are looking up though and I am happy that we are working on us. This has been a real wake up call for me. I thought we were doing really good since he hadnt mentioned anything negative about what he was experiencing until he told me he wanted to separate. Now that I know we hadnt even really begun to recover, we can take the steps to rebuild our M even better. I will not be side tracked this time and wont let H either. This time we will succeed
