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A dear friend of mine is hopefully registering here for help. I am starting a thread to help her.
She has some understanding of MB, and is really a sweet person.
She wants to rebuild her $LB for her DH so she can enjoy SF again and not see it as a duty only.
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday 
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My friends user name is kewwy, please welcome her. I am bumping her thread for her. MB is already paying off, she emailed me this.. ok display name is kewwy so how do i now get to my thread maybe we can talk on the phone or some thing thanks for all of this.. DH and i walked the dog together we have never done that ever b4 so fingers crossed
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday
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Hi kewwy!
I'm so glad you're trying Marriage Builders stuff. It's really helped me and my marriage. There are some really awesome folks here.
*hugs*
me - 47  H - 39  married 2001 DS 8a  DS 8b :crosseyedcrazy: (Why is DS7b now a blockhead???) (Ack! Now he's not even a blockhead, just a word! That's no fun!)
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Hi there Janyne, im not sure what to do.. We have no affection at all unless it leads to sex.. So i dont touch cuddle or anything in case it leads to sex. I have been married for 26 years.
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Thanks so much for your help Lil xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Ya know, MelodyLane posted about something sort of similar. She was turned off by her H groping her. She told him that she didn't want to be repulsed by him but that was the effect; which was the opposite of what he wanted. (Please pardon me if I'm remembering incorrectly or wording it wrong.) She presented it in such a way that it was in *his* best interests to stop doing that behavior, since he didn't want her to feel repulsed by him; that would LOWER the chances of SF instead of increasing them.
Of course, this was done in the context of a pretty good marriage already, that had been using the stuff learned here for a long time. In other words, there was a healthy level of trust and care already.
I'll try to find that thread for you... but with the Search feature broken, I'm not sure I'll be able to.
So it sounds like you've already started reading about the concepts of MB? Is your H on board or are you doing this just yourself?
me - 47 H - 39 married 2001 DS 8a DS 8b :crosseyedcrazy: (Why is DS7b now a blockhead???) (Ack! Now he's not even a blockhead, just a word! That's no fun!)
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Kez, how are you???  Please tell us what you understand about emotional needs and what you think yours and you DH's are, also a bit of background on the issues would be great
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday
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So what exactly do you not find appealing about SF? What is it that you don't like? Is there anything that you do enjoy? Is there anything that your husband could do (it doesn't have to be affectionate or sexual...my hubby taking care of the kiddos all day so I can lay around can get me in the mood) that would make you feel more in the mood for SF?
You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
The person who is always finding fault seldom finds anything else.
I pity the fool. - Mr. T
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Hello Kewwy, BTW! I tend to just jump into things with both feet and then think later about introducing myself! Ooops! :-)
You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
The person who is always finding fault seldom finds anything else.
I pity the fool. - Mr. T
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Kez, How did walking the dog help you? Was it doing an activity together, or spending time together that meant more to you? Sorry you are going to get inundated with questions for a wee bit
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday
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Ooooh, is this "bombard kez with questions" time? I wanna play! What kinda dog was it? LOL J/K. I asked someone to bump the groping thread I was talking about. I hope that's relevant to your problem. How are things otherwise? Yes, more info is always good. 
me - 47 H - 39 married 2001 DS 8a DS 8b :crosseyedcrazy: (Why is DS7b now a blockhead???) (Ack! Now he's not even a blockhead, just a word! That's no fun!)
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How to Overcome Sexual Aversion
Introduction:Sexual compatibility is very important in most marriages. On rare occasion I find a couple happily married without any sex whatsoever, but in most cases, the quality of sex determines the quality of marriage. When a couple's sexual relationship begins to suffer, the marriage is usually suffering. But when a sexual relationship is thriving, the marriage is also thriving.
Usually it's the husband who has the greatest need for sex, but that isn't always the case. I am finding increasing numbers of wives who need sexual fulfillment more than their husbands. However, whether it's the husband or the wife with the greater need for sex, the one with lesser need is at risk for a sexual aversion.
In an effort to satisfy the spouse with the greater need for sex, the spouse with the lesser need often sacrifices his or her own emotional reactions. Instead of sex being an experience that they both enjoy together, sex becomes enjoyable only for the one with the greatest need. And it can become a nightmare for the other spouse. In all too many marriages, sacrifice leads to a sexual aversion, which, in turn, leads to no sex at all.
This column will help you overcome a sexual aversion if you suffer from it. But even if you don't, it may help prevent you or your spouse from becoming its victim.
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday
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Here's one of Mel's groping threads... http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2236821&page=1She bumped it to the top on the GQII board. (General Questions II) I thought there was one where she talked about how to talk to a groping H. Maybe you could reply to the thread above and ask for more info if you think it applies to you.
me - 47 H - 39 married 2001 DS 8a DS 8b :crosseyedcrazy: (Why is DS7b now a blockhead???) (Ack! Now he's not even a blockhead, just a word! That's no fun!)
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Umm what is DH? Well Ive been talking online to another and he has sparked what i had thought had died. So i have been trying not to talk to him. I thought he was just a friend it never entered my head for it to be anything else duh how dumb!!!. He has taken it to a new level and i found myself liking it. Umm hubby and i have no contact at all unless its sex and yes it revolts me. So i say to him just do it and get it over with and he does its horrible makes me hate him. I think if he can do that i could be anyone. I used to know exactly what he thought but not now we are very disconnected.We have been married for 26 years and i am bored. Not sure what i need or want.
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umm both. I said to him the kids will be 18 soon we will be on our own we need to like each other he agreed. It was great walking together i think he liked it. Plus i think i might try not taking my anti depressants see if that helps xx
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ha ha yes you can play.. Its a Golden retriever and i im not an animal lover at all so it was a big thing for me to do it.. He held the dog though cause i couldn't touch it oops
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thankyou so much ill look at it after Ive done the treadmill be back in an hour
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im really happy to get every bodies help thanks guys
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Well he is good around the house and he is the best father i have ever seen so he is everything you could ask for so im not sure what it is? I put it down to 26years and boredom which i know is bad but i cant help it...
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