I want to know - What is the biggest change in your life since the days of becoming a Sippy Cup Washing Expert?

SD, seriously, we're just curious about YOU. Got to be something going on that is worth sharing with us??!!

Miss you! Was good to see you around this week!

SD,


OK.

...so at the very least, we know that....

you are ALIVE and breathing
you are able to type
you may be very very busy, or not!
you are asking us to be patient while you are thinking about what to say to us

...and that at one point, we can be hopeful about learning more about how you are doing....

....just know, as you can tell, that many of us here think of you often and wonder and hope that you are well!

SD

WHAT!!!????? I missed something.....what is this about?

Queenie got a nose ring!!!! Well, technically not a "ring" but a stud. Woohoooo......

Saw you in the "Who's Online" box thingy.

How are you?

Can't hide from this guy SD - he's too sharp.

I want to know how you are doing too.

Hi, All

I didn't drop off the planet or anything. My life has been very, very peaceful. Maybe too peaceful, but I try not to interrupt it when I don't have to.

No job yet, although I did apply for one last week. I look around, and the job market for me is still really slow. If I'm worried about it, though, it is only on a subconscious level. I can go another year if I have to.

The kids are okay. I'm starting to worry that DS10 is suffering--he's been sick for over a month with no clear cause. He's a prime candidate for childhood stress and depression, so I probably need to get him some help.

DD6 seems to be doing better. Her softball season starts tomorrow with the first team practice. I'm managing again, which should be a welcome burst of fun. This year, the team color is blue. Once again, we will have the girls vote on the team name. In an effort to get the parents to get the girls to come prepared to talk about a team name tomorrow, I have suggested via email the Blue Girl Group (with the girls painting their faces blue before each game) and the Blue Light Specials (maybe we can find an old blue siren). My co-manager is probably right, however. It will take a miracle to avoid the Blue Dolphins.

Sporadic dates, but nothing that has stuck. Meeting someone tomorrow for coffee for the first time. Promising.

SCQ is still with POSOM. He still seems to be quite a loser, and I don't think my kids like living in his house half the time, but I don't think she can see that. On the plus-side, she hasn't gone crazy-wayward on me for a long time now, and generally tries to help me out when she can.

I'm still making wooden puzzles and selling them at farmers markets. It's gratifying to make something cool with your own hands and then have people admire it, and it's fun hanging out at the markets--excellent people watching.

So. . . I'm good. I still have loads of unresolved feelings. I still get angry from time to time, especially when I think my kids are suffering from it, and I genuinely think that the world would be a better place without POSOM in it, but infidelity no longer defines me. Life is going on.

Hope 2010 is treating everyone well so far.

--SDG

SD,

Glad to see you back. Sounds like you are doing well and that is a good thing.

I am shocked that SCQ is still with POSOM. It sounds like they haven't M, so maybe that's a good thing.


That's to be expected I think. D is a life changing event that we'll probably never forget, but life does go on. I am actually doing much better than I ever expected that I would, but I do have days where the anger erupts.

I am so sorry that it has effected the kids though. I know that you will take care of them because unfortunately SQC will never see it or ever admit that she is the cause.

Hugs to DS10. He needs dad right now, and you are a great dad. He'll know this when he looks back someday.

Do we need a crash cart?

When can I move in?

Get him help. Adultery sucks.

Still better than the Blue Moons or the Code Blues.

Think about getting an editor. So nothing got stuck huh?

�Exxxxxxxxxxxxxxcellent� � Monty Burns

Well the shine has to be off the adultery by now. The torrential gully floods of happy brain chemicals have probably all dried out and she gets to wake up every morning next to a cigarette breath drunk. Sounds great. Hope he snores and sleep farts too.

But he has not got down on bent knee with ring in hand to make an honest adulteress out of her yet? Gollum hasn�t either. What�s up boys? I though you all were stolebaits?

The thrill is gone so to speak. Probably just her determination to not be wrong holding it all together now. Like Wayzilla, I bet that determination to not show the world she screwed up can keep it going for years yet to come.

Sorry for the kids. Did I ever mention adultery sucks? I can�t remember.

This is good.

Maybe you could get a job doing shadow puppets at birthday parties. You could dress like Pennywise and partner with a child therapist.

Me too.

Road Trip!

Take care SD.

SD;

Glad to hear that you are doing well!

LG

Don't forget the DUTCH OVEN!


Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!

*lifting helmet visor* Who are you so wise in the ways of the DUTCH OVEN?




I just went back and looked at the original Sippy Cup posts again. Strange days indeed. That was nearly 3-years ago now. What a journey.

Hey GuySmiley!

Chris pretty much said it all, so I'll just Ditto his comments.

Except, did he happen to mention


Am pleased that overall life is treating you well.

Just curious? What do you have against Dolphins???

And don't wait so long to check in here!

Hi SD,

Thanks for the update.


Same here....and that is a 'good' place to be, n'est-ce pas?

Keep in touch.

SD

Bumping up for news on SD

...directly..or indirectly if need be!

Wondering about you too SD. I hope all is well.

Hey, thanks for asking. I'm doing well enough.

Like I said over on CL's thread (before I saw this), the SCQ and POSOM got married a couple of months ago. As much as I've tried to let go of things, it was still hurtful, mostly because they chose to celebrate it on the beach and had family come in for it, as if it was a thing of beauty. Predictably, the SCQ said nothing to me about it--I had to hear it from the kids. I've heard nothing from my worthless ex-in-laws. It messed me up for several weeks, but it's faded away now.

The kids are good. DD7 enjoyed the spectacle of the wedding. DS10 complained in the way that a small boy would about a wedding wasting a perfectly good Saturday. If he felt that he was being forced to participate in celebrating the relationship that killed his family, he didn't let on. He worried more about its effect on me, which made me feel bad because I was trying to keep that to myself.

I started working at the lab where I used to be a post-doc. It's not a permanent thing, but it's fun, and it covers my insurance, and it's a beautiful place to work, so it's good for my soul. My lab is in the gray building in the middle left of the photo:

http://www.timeoutofmind.com/images/la_jolla_022306/scripps_pier_022306.jpg

No dates lately. Sometimes I wonder how ready I am. Plus, the kids wear me out when I have them, and I have plenty of things to do when I don't.

I hope everyone is doing well. It's gotten hard for me to come here and read. Don't think that it means that I don't care.

Aw geez You stinker. That workplace looks like Fantasy Island. I work(ed) in B'more city. Only slightly less glamorous than your digs

Sorry to hear about the pain over the wedding. I hope you come to peace with it all and move forward with your own life. There are times when I think I've got it much easier than some, because the Z is not with the original OW. Sounds strange, but I think it would be much harder to deal with him in that case.

Take care, GuySmiley.

SD,

So good to hear from you. Time will get you to a place where you feel total indifference. Seriously, anything she does will simply not matter.

The kids will have much more perspective on things as they get older and it sounds like the 10 year old is gaining valuable insight.

A good litmus test for you on dating:

How much do you talk about your ex? That is a big indicator. If you can meet someone and barely discuss it at all then that is a good sign. If that is all you talk about or think about, then don�t date. Nothing says you have to and I strongly recommend you don�t for a good while. If you do, keep it casual and non committal. You don�t need anyone needy and don�t want to be so yourself. I hung out with my D group for a while and we had fun with each other until I eventually graduated from that as well. There comes a point where you simply get tired of the bitter feelings and decide to abandon them.

I got to a point where I really didn�t wish to mention her in any way and even got bothered when others would ask me about her. The fact is I didn�t know or care.

You�ll get there eventually. You also know that the fact that she is in an affairage on top of a mixed family that her odds of D are super high.

But that really doesn�t matter either. I think it would be very tough if an OM was around to be able to move on. That might be a real tough one to let go of.

The interactions in the school will never feel natural. That�s how it feels on my end. I can�t fake being nice. It�s like being around someone you find repulsive but that you have to deal with in an amicable fashion because of your children. So you�ll end up going through the motions as a show, but nothing more. She�ll eventually be with someone else. You might be amicable with him, but your disgust with her will likely not disappear.

Has SCQ made lame attempts at humor around you? That�s awkward when it happens.

Take care of yourself and keep your chin up.