Wanna hear twisted?

Last night I was burning up and my feet were freezing.

So I shucked everything but the socks.

I HATE wearing socks to bed.

This is too twisted for color TV.

Think about adding a complete B vitamin as well as calcium and magnesium. One needs to take the calcium WITH the magnesium because the two don't assimulate into the body well without each other. I read something at the doctor's office that said people who get enough calcium not only do good for their bones, but it has also helped with moods.

I've also used St. Johns Wort before I had insurance - it helped with my moods...and I keep a bottle of Rescue Remedy (in the homeopathic section) in my purse at all times.

Oh...and I bring my weiner dog, S'midgeon, to work on the days I'm blue. She's here with me today. One finds it very difficult NOT to smile when there is a mini-weiner dog around.

Spartan made it to the racetrack safe and sound last night around 2:00am. He forgot his ATM card and so I've been trying to find a way to either wire him some money or get his card sent out overnight to him. Wiring is out because they're literally out in the middle of NOWHERE and I'm waiting to hear back from him on whether or not to FedEx his card out if his boss doesn't float him. What a jerk!! You know, you would figure that he would take care of his employees.

I went to our counselor last night and I completely offloaded last week on her. By the time I left, my mascara was gone and I felt drained but more at ease. She scolded me for stopping the Lexapro cold turkey and asked me to follow up with my Dr. tomorrow to see if there is something else I can take that won't interfere with my sex drive. If I need to be on it, then so be it. Quite frankly, I'm miserable right now with excruciating headaches, nausea and dizziness.

Spartan and I miss each other very much and have been calling and texting since he left. I had the kids call him last night to tell him "goodnight" when they went to bed. They've been perfect! Tonight is DS1's counseling appt and after that we'll be going out to one of our standard places to eat. Not sure yet, but my mother and I may get a couple of piercings done! We're only 16 years apart and sometimes we're like sisters. She wants her cartilage done on her hear and I want a very petite nose piercing (Spartan is ok with it). The kids will of course be with us watching mom and grandma! Yeah....only in So Cal, right? We'll see if Spartan notices when he gets back.

I looked at used gym equipment today but it was out of our budget. I'm actually looking forward to having him as my gym buddy! We plan to train together at home. He has never been comfortable in a gym setting and even before my affairs, he didn't want me going. In retrospection, I did not take extrordinary care in considering his feelings back then. Turns out, he was right in how he felt.

Has anyone heard about John Gottman's, "4 horsemen of the apocalypse" in a relationship? My counselor explained it to me and it was extremely insightful.

Hi, Sparalotta. I hope your doctor was able to give you direction today to help you feel better. I also hope your DS's IC went well and the piercings turned out extra groovy.

Stay busy, keep calling Spartan, take your meds, play with your kids, read you books, get your rest, and take care of yourself. And if you do decide to paint the den, stay away from the avacado green. I hear that color is very yesterday.

Hey L4!

Thanks for thinking about me.

Dr. gave me the eyebrow raise and then the scolding about getting off of the Lexapro, sooooooo I started back on it today. The other options for meds my insurance wouldn't cover. GIRLS ONLY: She is pretty concerned about my 2wk cycles so I'm going in for a pap next week and then getting lab work done to check my hormone and thyroid levels. She's also ordered a pelvic ultrasound to see what's going on. I'm more than likely due to change out my IUD since I have the Mirena and those are only good for 5yrs. Spartan was relieved that I went and also that I'm back on the meds.

DS1's counseling went so well that he doesn't have to come back for another 3wks just to check in! It's been 4 years of going once a week with him. Even with the loss of Cairo, he's doing well.

Nose piercing went totally well! My mum decided to go somewhere else, so it was just the boys and I. They watched me get one of my tattoos done and so this wasn't a big deal to them.

DS2 bit another student this morning so he got to spend the day with me today. There goes part of the shopping I needed to do without the kids (Easter basket stuff). *sigh*

Gotta scram and take the boys to their annual dental check up.

Two cavities for both DS's but all in all their checkups were good. Appts for fillings will be in May.

I cannot lie and say that I haven't been tempted to want to see the xOM but then I pray to bind those thoughts and I envision Jesus dying on the cross and the thoughts disappear quickly. I also think about what that relationship was about and not only does it make me shudder, but I also get angry! Not just angry at him but also at myself. Never in a million years did believe I would cross that line but I did. Never again will I open my lovebank to someone else. It became equally as as entangled and disasterous as our national debt.

I called Spartan and told him that the kids and I would be going out to dinner with our friends who are getting married tomorrow, but that my phone was completely dead. I told him to call either of our friends if he needed me and he said, "no worries".

He called the groom and talked to him while the kids and I were there, but the groom didn't tell me who was on the phone. I had no clue who called.

How AWESOME of a feeling it was to know that he called and that we were totally where I said we were! Lovin' that!!!

Bet Spar loved it too!

Let me tell you from a betrayed, when your fw does what they say and say what they do, (an elephant's faithful, 100%) the heart begins to sing again.

Knew I liked YOU for a reason, Sparkly - I'm tatted too!

Oh I could totally hear the ease in his voice when I called him. He's been gone since Wed. night and is due back tonight. I CAN'T WAIT!!!! The house isn't exactly cleaned up, but it's because we were constantly on the go. Went to church yesterday and from there, spent the rest of the day with my parents and had dinner with them, too. Got my Easter basket shopping done, too!! My mum and I had DS1 with us (DS2 was with grandpa) and we stopped by a small petting zoo. They had two wallabies there and I fell in love with them!! Called Spartan, "we TOTALLY need to adpot a wallaby!" I checked into them but they're WAY expensive.

Dealan-de: How many tatts do you have and what are they? I've got 4 tatts and two piercings (nose and belly).

I've 10 piercings in one ear, 3 in the other and my navel.

I've 4 tats, but am always looking to add (grin).

You want a wallaby and I want a capybara...but if we get a capy, then we have to dig a pond in the back yard...and I don't know if I can talk the Wookie into messing with his lawn. You don't come between a Wookie and his lawn...it just ISN'T done...

Oh yes.....I have another tatt in mind, too. Once it starts, ya know. Spartan doesn't have any YET.

I love capy's, too! I'm such a softie when it comes to animals.

I'm pretty lucky in that the fella's territories are the garage and the den. All of the rest is free range for me!

My fella is due home in an hour or two!! He's in store for LOTS of hugs and kisses and a dinner out with his family. And for sure some...

I want to take out the trash but decided to leave it there because I want him to see that there wasn't any "retail therapy" (aside from the piercing) that was done. That's kind of been a problem for me in the past. I don't want to be rude but I also don't want him to think I'm hiding anything. I'm just talkin' trash here!

Sparky,

Make him so glad to be home he'll wonder why he left in the first place...

Mark

Bet they're sleeping in. ;-)

Lol! I was 30 minutes late to work this morning.

Poor guy, he's sooooo tired from that trip. Hasn't had a weekend at all and is sun and wind burned from being out at the track. He just wants to go home and go to bed.

We had a good time last night! The kids were a little out of line, but I think that's par for the course since now they have to share me again with him.

There was a fatal 1 car crash that happened Sat. morning one street over from us and I showed him the site. Since he's been an auto tech and raced motorcycles, he knows the dynamics and attitudes of vehicles and crash sites. He totally explained how the whole scene more than likely played out. I am absoluely fascinated with his knowledge of that and love listening to him unravel the mystery. Same thing when he diagnoses a vehicle. I always tell him how much I admire that about him.

We didn't get to spend too much time together last night but tonight will be better. I'm gonna give him a nice, relaxing evening.

BTW....he LOVED the nose!!! HE thinks it's sexy which is exactly what I was hoping for!

Awesome cool.

He's prolly with race movies and shows the way the Wookie is with CSI and Law and Order!

The Wookie is always complaining about shows not being right...I have to ask him, "who cares about right when it's written in the script?"

Men!

Hey, Sparky and Dealan-de. I have only one tat and have let three of my 5 ear piercings close. Can I still play in the sandbox?

Glad to see the smile in your thread here, Sparks. It's coming through loud and clear. Remember this feeling. It's what Spartan and your family give you.

Have fun tonight.

How you doin'?

...eh

We could be better to be honest. Lots of LB's and DJ's on both of our parts. I've been reading HNHN's but won't read it in tandum with me because I'm reading it. I'm going to check out a copy for him at the library and will continue to renew it until he's done.

I want domestic support and he wants sexual fulfillment. Neither one of us is getting these needs met. This has ALWAYS been a problem for us.

He has been asking me very detailed questions about the SF that I got from the OM and then he hates me for the answer. I don't know what to do anymore.

We're both very frustrated and angry with each other as of this morning from a fight that we had last night.

FIGHTING, FIGHTING, FIGHTING....that's all we ever do!

I can't do anything right and I'm STILL being punished for something that happened LAST WEEK!!

I'm the ONLY one reading the book. He has absolutely NO interest. So, I guess I'm just amusing myself here thinking that he will "magically" become sensitive to my needs as well.

Grrrrrr!!!!

Just like all of the other holidays.......this one is gonna suck, too!!

No it's not. Why? Because of why you're celebrating the holiday in the first place. You celebrate Easter to celebrate Christ's resurrection -- to remember that you are forgiven and that God's grace is good.

Look at the joy in your kids' faces tomorrow when they get their baskets. Listen to the hymns (I love "Jesus Christ Is Risen Today") and let the music fill your soul as you think how magnificent God is. Feel in your heart the love that God has for you. Taste your Easter dinner and think of how blessed you are to have that nurishment. Rest in your home and remember your good fortune for having a roof over your head. Take in your children's faces and think of how fortunate you are to have them. And think of how Spartan is there with you.

It is hard right now, Sparky, but you have much to be thankful for. Tomorrow doesn't have to suck. Take the time to recognize what the day symbolizes and what it means. Jesus sacrificed for you and came back for you. Think of how no matter how hard you life is -- you are blessed.

As you are a child of God.