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I've read several threads here lately on MB where the BW seems so desolate, because they believe that their WH is so far gone... into adultery... into alcohol... etc... It's just not the man I married! It seems so hopeless, he hates me! I don't believe we'll ever recover. He's been gone too long!
Not only is recovery possible, it happens more than you know. In my own personal experience my husband walked away, got involved in things I never thought he'd do, had two affairs,etc.
Today a website was launched called prodigalsonly.com. My DH's on it.
My DH, who was so LOST to me and our family before, has been recorded on video giving his personal story. You can find his video by clicking "prodigal stories" at the bottom of the page. His is the third from the last one. He's the guy with the long silver hair who looks like an old hippie biker. More than that, he's the guy who came home to his family and who just graduated as valedictorian at Bible School and who nows has a practical degree in ministry.
After the hell we experienced, we are more in love now than we've ever been. He's the love of my life and I his. It is possible.
Don't give up. Never give up UNLESS and UNTIL you are sure in your OWN heart that it's the right thing to do..
Last edited by princessmeggy; 04/05/09 08:36 PM. Reason: clarification
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
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In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists. Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Meggy - I think you are a princess for real.
make the most of Holy Week
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Aw shucks... 
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
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In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists. Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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When you hit rock bottom, unless you choose to stay there, you can only go up.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Wow Princess...
What an amazing story.
You are so right. It's never over until the fat lady sings and even then, G-d is still working..... Only in quiet. He might even perfer the quiet and less distractions.
I'm so happy you are hapy. You deserve it so much.
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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"Dear Jesus, thank You for Your love. Thank You for your mercy. Thank you for not leaving me alone. I know I have sinned. I’ve done wrong. I’ve hurt You, I’ve hurt myself, I’ve hurt others. I’m sorry. Forgive me, Jesus. Wash me. Cleanse me and make me new. This day, I give you my life. Come into my heart. Be my Savior. Be my Lord and my very best friend. From this moment forward, I am yours and You are mine. Come live Your life through me. In Your precious name, amen.”
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Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists. Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Don't give up. Never give up. This is exactly the kind of advice that keeps BS's like Queenie form moving on with their lives. It keeps them clinging to FALSE hope.
Plan D June 08
Me FBS 36
W 38
Married 13/1/09
The best is yet to come, with or without your WS
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Princess Meg, It looks like you are an angel today. That is me that you describe in the original post. Funny today at mass, guess what was part of the message today. The priest spoke of the prodigal son. Yes my H is a prodigal and he has lost his way. I have been feeling down and lost and your posting today really touched me. Thank you so much for sharing it. 
Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09
Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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Don't give up. Never give up. This is exactly the kind of advice that keeps BS's like Queenie form moving on with their lives. It keeps them clinging to FALSE hope. So sorry and sad that you feel that way MFIL. Really. Sometimes a BS needs to be told that. Lots of people told me to "move on with my life", "he's gone", "he's a @*($#&". Thank GOD I didn't listen to them.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
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In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists. Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Wow PM,
that was powerful. Thanks for sharing.
Married 23 yrs
WW-46
Me- 47
DD18
DD11
Dday #1 - Oct. 8 2006
Too many other D-Days to remember
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****edit****
Decided ****edit**** protect you're kids yet?
Last edited by Dufresne; 04/05/09 08:56 PM. Reason: Personal Attack
Plan D June 08
Me FBS 36
W 38
Married 13/1/09
The best is yet to come, with or without your WS
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Wow PM,
that was powerful. Thanks for sharing. You're welcome.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
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In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists. Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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princessmeggy,
I want to absolutely thank you for all your words of encouragement!!! This is real music to my ears! As I was reading what you had to say I was getting emotional almost to the point of tears. We all here need people like you to uplift us, please everyone out there that has had a marriage turn around, encourage all of us!!!
I feel like I am being a broken record by repeating my short story, but I do this so people that do not know what I am going through will. Eventually I will not have to tell my story.
Anyway, I have the husband who is in Vietnam with a 2 month old girl. His affair has been going on almost 2 1/2 years. My husband just can not break it off with her because he says that he has strong feeling for her and because of his child. I know that my husband feels that he will be abandoning her and the baby. My husband has very deep abandonment issue that stem back before he was 10 probably. I believe that some of his strong feelings for her may not be love at all, and that these feelings have to do with the abandonment itself.
To give you a little more information my husband has told me that the whoop la, sizzle frenzy feelings wore off with her before the first year was up. He told me just recently that he feels like this is more than an affair because he has deeper feelings for her now. He has also said that there has been a lot of tension between them and that he does not tell he that he loves her or she does not tell him. He told me that they do not talk about their relationship, no deep communication. How can anyone have a deep meaningful relationship if they do not communicate.
Last thing for now, she told my husband 2 days before the baby was born to go back to his family and take care of them that she and the baby would be fine.
What would you say to me about my husband who is so emotionally caught up because of his abandonment issues?
Cindy
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Move on. You can do so much better
Plan D June 08
Me FBS 36
W 38
Married 13/1/09
The best is yet to come, with or without your WS
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****edit****
STOP IT!!!
Last edited by Dufresne; 04/05/09 08:59 PM. Reason: arguing with mods
Plan D June 08
Me FBS 36
W 38
Married 13/1/09
The best is yet to come, with or without your WS
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MFL, I know you think you are helping, but we as the BS can only decide when. Not the WS, you, or anyone else can make that decision. I do not know your sitch and you have moved on -- great. But you decide like we are deciding.
Princess meg, I appreciate you sharing this. I am sure many told you to move on and give up and it was hopeless and look where you are now.
Thank you.
Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09
Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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I'm not making decisions for anyone. I think a thread like this is invaluable for a newly BS, but for a BS whose WS has been gone for over 2 yrs I feel they cling to stories like this and I don't think thats healthy for them after that much time has passed
Plan D June 08
Me FBS 36
W 38
Married 13/1/09
The best is yet to come, with or without your WS
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Thanks PM. We are lucky to have you here....
BS - me 56
XWH - 57
12/25/06 - Dday - WH promised NC. Plan A in effect. Thought we were in recovery.
6-3-07 - Dday#2 Found out NC never took place and A never ended. Found MB NC promised again, but WH would not write NC letter.
9/07 - Dday #3. Still lying and sneaking around. Plan B implemented
WH wants nothing to do with me
Divorced as of 12/09 after 36 years
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I'm not making decisions for anyone. I think a thread like this is invaluable for a newly BS, but for a BS whose WS has been gone for over 2 yrs I feel they cling to stories like this and I don't think thats healthy for them after that much time has passed Well as I said they decide when; if they want to go 1 month, 1 year or 10 years so be it. Only they could decide what is healthy or unhealthy. It is like the death of a spouse; sometimes the widow/widower remarries; sometimes they chose not to. It is a choice only they could decide. Princess Meg put this posts up for all BS not just newly BS.
Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09
Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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