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Re: need some help
Unfettered #2250626 04/24/09 07:06 AM
Joined: Jan 2009
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ouchthathurt Offline
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ouchthathurt
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Unfettered is right. Not talk to him for six months? She drags your daughter in on this and makes her part of her moms affair. That is horrible. Your daughter will get over her leaving. You tell her she can't talk to him for 6 months. Now she's thinking

"If I can just keep our affair from him for six months. I can start up again and blame him for it. After all, he said I could talk to him after six months. That means I can do him after 6 months too. I want my security at home, and I want to have sex with my ex too. I want both, I deserve both. My daughter will help keep her father cool, while I have more time with my ex."

How is what I described in any way not exactly what is expected from her?

DO NOT INVOLVE YOUR DAUGHTER. IF YOUR TREACHEROUS WIFE INVOLVES HER AGAIN. TELL YOUR DAUGHTER THAT IT IS BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR MOM (HORRID PERSON FOR USING YOUR DAUGHTER AGAINST YOU). TELL HER THAT ITS YOU OR HER. TELL HER THE QUESTION ISN'T WHETHER I LOVE YOUR MOM, SHE WILL NOT QUIT HER AFFAIR. SHE IS USING YOU TO GET ME TO LET HER DO THIS. THAT IS NOT FAIR TO YOU OR ME. SHE MUST LEAVE, OR I MUST LEAVE.

HURTING, DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT THERE IS SO MUCH MORE AT STAKE HERE? YOUR DAUGHTER IS LEARNING FROM HER MOM AND YOU, WHAT IS ACCEPTABLE IN MARRIAGE. WOULD YOU WANT YOUR DAUGHTER DOING THIS TO HER HUSBAND. YOUR MARRIAGE IS THE MODEL FOR HER MARRIAGE. DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?
Re: need some help
Unfettered #2250669 04/24/09 07:49 AM
Joined: Oct 2007
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catperson Offline
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Quote
Tell her that she is DONE talking to him if she wants to stay with you. Cancel her phone, shut off the internet connection, whatever it takes. But most of all, expose (or re-expose) the affair to everyone you can, and speak to your daughter about why what mommy is doing is wrong, and that it is WW who is tearing your family apart, not you. And then be strong.

Your situation is not going to change until you change what you will put up with.
Worth repeating.

Look, the ONLY people who get their spouse back are the people who quit being afraid. They start being MAD. How dare she do this to you and your child?!

She has to respect you before she will ever want you. She has nothing to respect right now, because you are being a doormat.
Re: need some help
catperson #2250680 04/24/09 08:06 AM
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ouchthathurt Offline
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ouchthathurt
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hurray hurray hurray Spot on cat!
Re: need some help
ouchthathurt #2251601 04/26/09 06:43 AM
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Unfettered Offline
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Hurting666,
Please understand that we take no satisfaction in speaking to you like this. We care about what happens to you and want you to recover your marriage. We are just trying to do whatever we can to help you break through to that point when you realize, "I have worth and don't have to accept scraps from WW. If she leaves, that stinks, but I'll survive and ultimately thrive."

ex-WW had 2 PAs in first 2 years. Buh-bye.
Divorce finalized: 1/28/09
Now just living and loving again.
Re: need some help
hurting666 #2255374 05/04/09 06:24 AM
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ouchthathurt Offline
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