like it!

WH declined to go. Said "I hope DD has a great time". I said, "Thanks! I'm sure we'll have a really good time."

whatever

That's fine, let him sit and stew. He may change his mind, he may not. He'll do whatever he does.

Recreational Activity is usually pretty high on men's EN list. So go, have a great time, then next time you talk with WH you can very lightly say "It's such a shame you didn't go, you'd have loved (fill in the blank)!"

Take pics if it's convenient and email him a couple of the best ones.

Or... and this is pretty evil... have the best pic put on a coffee mug or tee shirt for him. hahahahhaahha Okay, he'd just smash the mug or burn the shirt but it was a fun thought.

turtlehead, do you think he's had any thoughts yet regarding bringing this on himself? or will I be the ENEMY for a while to come?

He will keep this line of thought for awhile. A couple of weeks maybe.

Maybe OW's H needs to talk to your H?

"He will keep this line of thought for awhile."

What line of thought? Sorry I don't follow - do you mean his wayward way?

I know the OWH called him but I don't know what was said. She told her BH that they were only "talking" and that was the first time since D day. I told OWH nope not true, the PI saw another time together. So BH called WW and asked for the real truth so she said they'd been together 3 times but only "talked". He really wants to believer her. I directed him to this site and he said he was already reading it. She's not at this point leaving the job.

The line of thought that ~you~ are his enemy (when in fact, TRUTH & OPENNESS are what he's mad about)

It's perfect that OW's H called your H.

The more "eyes" on them the better !!!!!!!!

He knows already he brought it on himself. He is just too proud to admit it. He is hoping you will act like a jerk and give him some cover. Just keep being SWEET and he will come around.

You handled the park thing PERFECTLY. PERFECTLY.

PS - One more small, but important, thing.

When talking to WH, never refer to OW by her name.
Always refer to her as "Joe's wife". (whatever the OW's H real name is)

Every reference of OW must reference her as another man's WIFE.

This is an injustice!! They were just "talking" and reading their bibles! The BH should offer to pay for a polygraph instead of wrongly accusing her like this!

Suggest to him that it is only fair she clear her good name in a POLYGRAPH.

VST,

Congratulations for being strong and thoughtful right now. I think you are doing a great job so far.

My FWH's A was with a co-worker and it took about three months for him to leave his work and us to move to another state. During that 3 month period, I spoke to WW's BH several times. It became very difficult for my FWH and OW to lie because they kept getting caught by OW's H and myself. Finally, after a few weeks, my H stopped lying. He was too tired tokeep it up. The OW's H can be a good ally to you, especially if he is not afraid to call your H and put pressure on to end the A.

AM

Funny ML, I did suggest to him she take one! ha ha!

OMG that is so good I love it!! I will certainly do that!

Thanks AM, I appreciate your input. That is the next scary thing to come around. Who leaves?? Personally, I think she should go. She's not sole supporter and she's not been there as long.....

To be honest, I think my WH would choose his job over me. He always has.....

VST, I don't have anything to add. You have such great advice, and you are being helped by the best! Some of the same people who walked with me.

I just wanted to say that I LOVE how you handled the park. Your email was PERFECT.

And Pep, that idea of "Joe's wife" is just brilliant!

Remember:

Stay pleasant and smiling.
Stay away from relationship talk.

So, here's a question. OWH has called my WH but I have not spoken to the OW. Should I?

I don't know.
If you do this, have a plan & goals in place first.

VST,

I'm in a hurry, but I wanted to let you know that you are doing an EXCELLENT, AWESOME, INCREDIABLE job with all of this....I for one am so proud of you.....

I'll be back later, but hang in there....your WH is following classic wayward protocol.....(SERIOUSLY......)

HUGS TO YOU.....

not2fun


PS....Pep, I LOVE LOVE LOVE you new siggy..... ....you crack me up.....

How about telling her to #@%%#^%$^#$$& herself and $^#$#&%*&^*& away from my H?? and that she's a ^*&^&^$&^$*&^(##% beauch?

It is up to you, but I would. I would let her know that you have had a PI watching them and that you will give her husband the pictures unless she tells the truth about what really happened.

Also, let her know that if this doesn't stop you will be filing on the grounds of adultery, naming her in the suit. She will be called to the stand to testify under oath about her adultery in a court of law.

there is no future in her affair with your husband becuase she will perpetually hated by your DD and his family for breaking up your family. She would not be allowed to darken the doorstep of your inlaws and they DO know about her affair with your H.

Tell her it would be in her best interest to leave your husband alone and never speak to him again, because you will make her life a living hell if she doesn't stop.

And then ask, "do your parents and other relatives know about your adulterous affair with a married man?"

Just leave it like that. But the SKANK needs to understand this:

HELL IS COMING...