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This is sick, MS. My FWH did this to me and the cruelty is beyond imaginable.
If Spartan decides to try to recover with you, you have just made things MUCH MUCH harder, and you have risked him coming to HATE you for this.
You need help...SERIOUS HELP. You have just slaughtered your H, do you even care???
I am sickened by this.
Spartan, I have been there...and I am so, so sorry. I know how you are feeling today.
Me,BW - 42; FWH-46 4 kids D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006 D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR) Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007 In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks.
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Dang pm. I'm impressed. I know, right? It's the legal beagle flowing through her veins.
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Spartan should talk to ZenWolf and MGolfer.
Me: FWH / BS (36) W: BS / WW (37) Two youngsters
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Pep,
I agree with everything you just said.
Plan B for 6 months and see if Spartan has any feelings left or enough left to even consider reconciliation and to see if MS steps up to the plate at all.
I've been thinking all morning about that list, BTW. We have here more evidence that your observations are probably correct.
And just a side comment here: I think that MS's post on L4's thread yesterday shows a total lack of respect for someone who appears to be getting what she herself is so clearly missing.
So Sparky, have you got what it takes to find your dignity and self respect or are you going to run away again?
Damage control is of no use any more. The ship already sank. You are alone in the water and though there are life boats all around you unless you swim toward one you will simply drown in your own pride and the consequences of your lies.
You seek admiration? Do something admirable!
Do the right thing for a change.
I leave open the possibility of conversing with you but not about anything but what YOU should do and I think that should begin with an offer to your husband to give everything up to him, full custody of the kids, leave with only what you can carry in one trip out the door and work on fixing whatever it is inside of you that is this messed up that you would repeat your vows to him while in the midst of continuing to betray him. Take nothing from him: no financial support, no help with anything and no expectation to ever gain any of it back.
And if you go to OM at all for any reason, consider all thoughts of ever getting it back forfeit.
You expressed fear that Spartan would be advised to leave you...My advice is that he let you bounce twice on the way to the curb. He has no reason to leave...
Too late to save your marriage I'm afraid. Time to try to save yourself and see if Spartan will ever want to even look at you again and if your children will ever respect you as their mother.
Mark
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I'm here, I'm sorry and I'm not running.
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MS, if you really want to do the right thing...
CALL STEVE HARLEY TODAY AND SET UP AN APPOINTMENT WITH HIM.
Me,BW - 42; FWH-46 4 kids D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006 D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR) Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007 In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks.
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MS - read this thread and explain how you are different? Coho Thread
Me: FWH / BS (36) W: BS / WW (37) Two youngsters
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Do this NOW, this MINUTE.
Do not wait. Do not make excuses. Do not hesitate.
You have a LOT of work to do.
And praying...for Spartan's healing and the hope that he will continue even talking to you, much less entertain the prospect of trying to recover with you AGAIN.
Last edited by MarriedForever; 04/23/09 09:37 AM.
Me,BW - 42; FWH-46 4 kids D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006 D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR) Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007 In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks.
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And this one because this will be where you guys end up with your current attitude. ZenWolf Thread
Me: FWH / BS (36) W: BS / WW (37) Two youngsters
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Do this NOW, this MINUTE.
Do not wait. Do not make excuses. Do not hesitate.
You have a LOT of work to do.
And praying...for Spartan's healing and the hope that he will continue even talking to you, much less entertain the prospect of trying to recover with you AGAIN. Credit card info has been sent to Ellie at MB office as of this morning. I am waiting on a phone call for a time and date.
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.....I think that should begin with an offer to your husband to give everything up to him, full custody of the kids, leave with only what you can carry in one trip out the door and work on fixing whatever it is inside of you that is this messed up that you would repeat your vows to him while in the midst of continuing to betray him. Take nothing from him: no financial support, no help with anything and no expectation to ever gain any of it back.
And if you go to OM at all for any reason, consider all thoughts of ever getting it back forfeit.
You expressed fear that Spartan would be advised to leave you...My advice is that he let you bounce twice on the way to the curb. He has no reason to leave... Every wayward, if repentant, should make this offer. The BS should not even have to concern him/herself with the thought they may lose their children because of a waywards selfish decision to cheat. That's just pouring salt in an open wound. Go ahead, PROVE that you're sorry.
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>You are alone in the water and though there are life boats all around you unless you swim toward one you will simply drown in your own pride and the consequences of your lies.
There you go.
The PERFECT analogy.
This is how I see MS so far:
Did you ever hear the one about the drowning man?
He is in the middle of the ocean and he cries out to God to save him.
A raft floats by, but the man is bent on God saving him, so he lets it go.
A motorboat stops to assist, but the man refuses aid because he "knows" God will save him.
Lastly, a cruise ship stops to help, and a final time the man refuses saying that he is in God's hands.
He drowns.
He is at the Holy Throne and implores, "I asked You to save me...why did you forsake me?"
God smiles gently and says, "I sent a raft, a motorboat and a cruise ship..."
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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MS - Mykiwijen (that's how I think of her) posted this on a TOTALLY unrelated topic. If SHE can stick it out, you can too. do you really think that I, as an FWW, who has been called a drunken whore on this board would want anyone chased away. It's time to Wife/Mommy-up. Gititdone.
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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Do this NOW, this MINUTE.
Do not wait. Do not make excuses. Do not hesitate.
You have a LOT of work to do.
And praying...for Spartan's healing and the hope that he will continue even talking to you, much less entertain the prospect of trying to recover with you AGAIN. Credit card info has been sent to Ellie at MB office as of this morning. I am waiting on a phone call for a time and date. Good job <I am choking on saying those words to you, you do not deserve them.> Have you written a NC letter? I would start drafting it NOW but do not send it until you post it here, and before Spartan ok's it and then HE sends it. Get going.
Me,BW - 42; FWH-46 4 kids D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006 D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR) Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007 In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks.
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MS...
I just read Spartan's thread...I am so very disappointed in you...I do NOT appreciate being lied to...50 phone calls between you and OM last month alone? C'MON!!!
You know, my gut kept telling me that you were still wayward, but I sloughed it off as the last remnants of waywardness...The new nose ring, the flip attitude, the "bar" thread you once started around here, the new iPod thread you started while your husband is still lying on the floor bleeding...All things pointed to wayward...I will not doubt my gut from now on...
Please do not come here and just agree in order to disarm...Come here and get honest...Get real...Drop the facade...
Let us know when you are ready to get serious...
Mrs. W sigh........... You know I wrote off your foggy behavior to withdrawl. What a fool. I was thinking of you on my ride to work this morning. There was the most amazing broadcast on Focus on the Family today and continued tomorrow. It was about submission to your H as the leader of your marriage. Right now I don't know if you CAN do that, but I will post the link anyway. focus broadcast today Ms, answer me something. Why is our approval more important than your H's? You have lied to us to get our approval. Only two people matter in this. God and your H. You let them both down. It does not matter one hoot what we think. Stop looking for admiration in all the wrong places.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49 DS 30 DD 21 DS 15 OCDS 8
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I don't believe one sylable out of MS's mouth.
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Credit card info has been sent to Ellie at MB office as of this morning. I am waiting on a phone call for a time and date. Wonder if Ellie could post a confirmation of this. This is a start... what else are you doing? Just wondering. Did this all come out because you and OM had a blowout? The gig was up? Did he threaten to tell? Your answer has a lot to do with your motives... NOW.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage ********************* “In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Did you change your number yet? Any MORE excuses you want to give us?
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49 DS 30 DD 21 DS 15 OCDS 8
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OM,
Out of respect and love for my husband and children, I must ask that you never attempt to make any contact with me ever again.
What I did to Bob by going outside of my marriage was cruel beyond belief ….a pain that he never deserved to endure. While I have no possible way of repaying my emotional debt to him for that, I will do everything I can to become the wife that he first married.
The restoration of my marriage is my most paramount focus and concern in my life and I will take every measure not to risk the healing process.
I will never make any further contact with you and am requesting that you respect that by doing the same in return.
Kelley
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