We talked last night after coming home from one of his hangouts, where I had gone to see him. He was not happy to see me there. I told him that being apart was part of what caused this problem and how could we fix it if we were apart. He doesn't know the answer to that, just that he feels smothered when I go where he is. I think I'm interfering with his fun, which hurts me too.

So apparently WH just has his head up his woo-who and is stuck in a rut. I do feel better knowing the truth about THAT!

When I said that I felt he had a GF, he did not respond. I told him that there has to be a way to save our marriage and he responded that he's just tired of the whole situation.

2/09/09: He has now determined that this has been going on for the past 7 years. He still feels like he's living alone, and he's very happy to go scouting and hunting predators to shoot. In this area, there's a hundreds of miles to cover. He's gone from dawn to dark and enjoys being alone that way. (He's in full-on Taker mode.)

Later that night he rolled over, hugged me and said "Oh God, you can't believe how much I love you Marcella." (I've been suspicious of Marcella all along.) When I said that my name wasn't Marcella, he said that my name was whatever he wanted it to be that night. When I mentioned this the next day, he said that he was just teasing. I said that it wasn't funny. I should also have said how very cruel it was to me in my fragile emotional state. He attempted to make love to me that night (on BP meds, which cause impotence.) I've talked to him about getting something for that, but he's afraid of the 4 hour erection.

3/31: 1:09 pm - he called her cell (1 min)
3/31: 1:10 pm - called her cell again (2 min)
3/31: 1:19 pm - she called back (1 min)
4/01: 8:38 pm - called her cell (2 min)

4/05: Met him at bowling club, I'm going to start that again. He seemed fairly happy to see me, but not really excited.
4/07: 9:51 pm - called her call (1 min)(he was at home!)
4/08: I went to the local bar where he hangs out - the BAR. Marcella was there and I asked her to please stay away from him. She said they are just friends, but she would stay away.
4/08: 6:40 pm - he called her cell (1 min)
4/08: 6:41 pm - she called back (1 min)
4/08: 6:52 pm - he called her cell (2 min)

04/10: 5:30 pm - called me and said he was about 45 min away. Five min later I saw him pull into her driveway. He thinks he saw me and attempted to follow to verify, but I evaded. He didn't say anything about it later and neither did I.
04/10: 5:37 pm - called me and asked if I was still out. I said yes, I'm at the other end of town. He asked me to stop at Mac's and get him a couple of cheeseburgers. I did that. With my devious mind, I also thought of getting a couple more and putting them on the hood of his truck in her driveway. Unfortunately, she lives in a fairly isolated house on a dead end street. And it was still daylight. (I need to check this out more)
Later, when we were talking, he said that he loves me but is no longer in love with me. I've told him that divorce is not an option; that we will find a way to fix our marriage.

4/12: Met him at bowling club and did 2 rounds together, went to the BAR afterward. I left there at 4:47 pm to go home and he was going out scouting until dark.
At 4:50 pm, he called her cell (1 min)
About 8:15, he called me and asked me to meet him at the Do Drop Inn, another bar. I did and we had a good general conversation. He didn't make much eye contact with me.

4/13: Called me about 7:30 pm and asked to me to meet again at the Do Drop. I did, more general conversation, a little more eye contact.

4/14: 3:53 pm He called her cell (2 min)
4/14: 5:18 pm He called her cell again (1 min)
Called me at approx 8:00 and asked me to meet at Do Drop again. I am giving more attention and admiration. We talked about various things and he made a lot more eye contact with me.

4/15: I started wearing contacts again - I do look better and younger without glasses. Called me at 8:05 pm, said he was going to stop at two bars, maybe 3, then come home. He cuddled me most of the night.

4/16: He checked in about 12:30 pm. Around 7, I called him to see if he was close enough to home to meet for tacos. He wasn't.

Today, 4/17 - she hasn't called his cell since 4/08, 10 days. I think she's doing the no contact thing with him. God, I hope so.

Yes, that's correct, Vittoria.

The way he's been acting, was very symptomatic of an A. I can see now that he's got his head up his xxx, over the other things we have problems with. Mainly - me abandoning him emotionally. Which I had no clue I had done.

I'm going to tell him if he wants to be friends with the ex-OW, I just want to be told about it, and included too. We'll see how that goes! He's liable to decide that I don't have the right to tell him who he can be friends with, although I don't intend it to be perceived that way.

Men!

V, I know, it does look very suspicious. However, you'd have to know my H to understand why I have been so upset about this A. He left his last wife because she had an A; and refused to cover for another friend who was having an A. He's very moral about that kind of thing.

Although all the signs pointed to an A, I truly believe what he explained and she said. No A. I do intend to talk to him though about how friends can turn into an A very easily.