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Sparkle,
Someone that you did not lie to, try to deceive or do anything personal to has just made quite an observation in her (I'm guessing here) very first post.
Can you see that?
Can you see that what you said does not align with your actions?
When it comes to children, way more is caught than taught.
Mark
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I am back. I don't like the reflections of myself here and so I'm here to roll up my sleeves, dig into the work and listen to the lesson taught.
I know everyone here (including myself) have triggers and reminders of people in their past, but I am not your mom, your sister, your wife, your child or your coworker. I am Kelley and I am a very broken work in process.
I know you all have more for me. Let's go.
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I know everyone here (including myself) have triggers and reminders of people in their past, but I am not your mom, your sister, your wife, your child or your coworker. These were truths, reality, and heartfelt observations of actions. You don't want to take them personally, but you need to.
M'd 22 years
BW-me
D-Day 08/08 LTA
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So what have you done for Spartan today?
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We both work full time, but so far I embraced him and rubbed his back this morning before we got up. And yes, he reciprocated my affections.
Texted him throughout the day and told him that I love him.
Will be getting him things that he needs tonight from Target after I get off of work.
Will make a dinner of his choice and ask him if he would like to watch a movie and have some popcorn tonight after the kids go to bed.
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I am back. I don't like the reflections of myself here and so I'm here to roll up my sleeves, dig into the work and listen to the lesson taught.
I know everyone here (including myself) have triggers and reminders of people in their past, but I am not your mom, your sister, your wife, your child or your coworker. I am Kelley and I am a very broken work in process.
I know you all have more for me. Let's go. (I cannot believe I am about to utter these words.....BUT.....) Where is MEDC when you need him?????....... :twobyfour: not2fun
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Will be getting him things that he needs tonight from Target after I get off of work. Who you going shopping with?
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I know everyone here (including myself) have triggers and reminders of people in their past, but I am not your mom, your sister, your wife, your child or your coworker. Everyone here is more objective than you, keep that in mind. While you are running from the lady from the mirror, the rest are staring her right in the face. That can't be comfortable for you. Nor should it.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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**yawn**
Haven't we seen this movie several times on this thread?
Same theme, different actors?
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GOD is weeping at your continued deception. And was before you got caught. He knew you were lying before Spartan did. He knew you would before you did it. And He still cried every time you did it. Mark I have been constantly praying. No one here can take my faith away from me or convince me that I do not deserve His grace and mercy. I AM SO GRATEFUL TO HIM FOR THAT! A couple points. One is no one DESERVES God's grace. NO ONE. The meaning of Grace is, THE UNEARNED UNMERITED FAVOR OF GOD. No one deserves it. But no one can take it away either. Next. Were you alone with the pastor, or was a woman present? If a woman was not present. Please do not go in to him for counseling again, without another woman present. You compromise his ministry when you do that. I am glad to hear that you confessed, but you are so into having attention focused on you, that your success is in question. I do hope and wish that you and spartan can work this out. Lastly. Do not depend on spartan to get the ball rolling on the post nup. YOU DO IT. Get a lawyer have it drawn up and approved by spartan. If you only offer it, its worth nothing. And don't make spartan do it either. You could just end up blaming him for not trusting you. YOU DO IT. So far your word means less then nothing.
Last edited by ouchthathurt; 04/24/09 05:52 PM.
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Your right that was my first post. I really didn't mean it to sound like an attack. Its just that I got caught up reading this thread and MS's daily events and as a mom I am shocked that she is so self absorbed and apparently uninvolved with her kids. I have kids the same age and I am constantly running and doing things and enjoying them. I would like to do more things for myself (gym, lunch, etc), but I don't want to miss out on this special age.
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No one knows the mother that I am to my children and those are the comments that hurt the most. I DO!!!!! Not because I was a wayward....but because YOU are just like MY MOTHER...... An adulteress MOTHER puts her INFIDEL before the children...... An adulteress MOTHER will spend HOURS on the phone with her INFIDEL INSTEAD of with her CHILDREN An adulteress MOTHER will take her children around the INFIDEL and tell them "We don't need to tell Dad about this".... An adulteress MOTHER will lie to her children when they happen upon a scene and tell them "It wasn't what you think"..... An adulteress MOTHER will tell her children the INFIDEL is a "friend" and that mommy "can have 'special' friends"..... and then when the Adultress MOTHER's children grow up, they will do EXACTLY what they have learned......FROM their "loving" mother (that my dear, is my SISTER......mom's first words to her when she found out??? "Didn't you learn better from me????".....Yes, mom, I'd say she ACED that lesson.....it was all STILL about HER.....  ) Don't bother blowing smoke up my butt missy, because I KNOW......I have walked a MILE and then some in your children's shoes...... If you don't like the fire honey, get out of the kitchen..... not2fun Not Sweetie, that post brought me to tears...Bless your heart for posting it...(((((Not))))) Sparky, you'd best thank Not for that glimpse into what your children will one day say about you if you don't straighten up and get this now...Don't you dare come back and say that stuff about "everyone has triggers"...Baloney...What she told you is REALITY...You can't see it, but everyone else here can... Sparky, you must come at this process with a HUMBLE HEART...Not just towards Spartan, but towards everyone...A humble heart is the only way recovery works - both personal and marital... Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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GOD is weeping at your continued deception. And was before you got caught. He knew you were lying before Spartan did. He knew you would before you did it. And He still cried every time you did it. Mark I have been constantly praying. No one here can take my faith away from me or convince me that I do not deserve His grace and mercy. I AM SO GRATEFUL TO HIM FOR THAT! A couple points. One is no one DESERVES God's grace. NO ONE. The meaning of Grace is, THE UNEARNED UNMERITED FAVOR OF GOD. No one deserves it. But no one can take it away either. Next. Were you alone with the pastor, or was a woman present? If a woman was not present. Please do not go in to him for counseling again, without another woman present. You compromise his ministry when you do that. I am glad to hear that you confessed, but you are so into having attention focused on you, that your success is in question. I do hope and wish that you and spartan can work this out. Lastly. Do not depend on spartan to get the ball rolling on the post nup. YOU DO IT. Get a lawyer have it drawn up and approved by spartan. If you only offer it, its worth nothing. And don't make spartan do it either. You could just end up blaming him for not trusting you. YOU DO IT. So far your word means less then nothing. MS, You have a problem not answering questions until they have been asked a hundred times. Don't you understand that when you do that you give people pause regarding anything you say. Now answer the question. Were you alone with the pastor. Or was there a woman there with the two of you?
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(I cannot believe I am about to utter these words.....BUT.....)
Where is MEDC when you need him?????....... :twobyfour:
not2fun ************EDIT************ Unfortunately now many fathers have lost a great resource on fathers rights. This thread is one great gaming of Spartan and continues to be. It's sickening. I hope he doesn't read here.
Last edited by JustUss; 04/25/09 09:13 AM. Reason: False Information!
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Were you alone with the pastor. Or was there a woman there with the two of you? OTH, While I think that any pastor who does personal counseling should have some way to ensure his own professionalism, I think this is only an ancillary issue here. There may be predators within the church that need to be kept at bay but the real reason is to prevent future litigation over some person who wants to file a claim against a person for something that might or might not have happened in secret. I'd also like to point out that MS said she was logging off for the day and I would expect nothing from her till she returns. Just because I am back doesn't mean she should be. Mark
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There was only a month of NC held throughout the month of Jan. and then he initiated contact again with me through e-mail in Feb. Yes, I was physically involved and told Spartan when the last time was. Spartan asked me very specific questions about other things (which I will not share here) and I answered them with complete, unwavering honesty. He said that he knew all along and asked me what was going to change now? Mark, The pastor is commanded to avoid anything that could be looked upon as questionable. Counseling a woman alone is questionable. MS, Based upon what was said here. There is the distinct possibility of an additional affair, or ONS. Spartan has the patience of a saint, and I am sincerely hoping he is making additional plans to protect himself. There is not a single issue that MS has been honest about.......Nothing. She will simply wait till the heat dies down to start again or start a new affair. She has almost lost everything on several occasions, and she still continues to have sex with other men. She is Coho on steroids.
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The pastor is commanded to avoid anything that could be looked upon as questionable. Counseling a woman alone is questionable. But that is HIS issue and not MS's. He needs to have HIS rules and boundaries in place or he won't be able to counsel as he needs to do. I have also found that most pastors are woefully lacking in ability when it comes down to counseling. Mark
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Wow I hope everything is ok, I notice there hasn't been any postings. Hope everyone wasn't too hard on her
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She deserved everything that was said. She knows that
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