ahhh good point.

someone who used to work for him and thought something was very fishy....just shared that with me after knowing about the exposure.

Just wondering what can I possibly do now to Plan A it a few more days after what happened today? Especially when his last words to me were FU?

I am coming empty handed for an IM. The church person isn't an option. She's not a friend of mine and I couldn't ask her to get involved.

I'm wondering if I could do this via email only? And say anything other than a direct question will be deleted?

See, this is why I am SO SO SO glad that I went to Plan B immediately after exposure, I wasn't subjected to FWH's anger and nonsense.

I heard plenty of it during our false recovery, however, and it was hard enough not to LB then. But after expsosure I was so done with him, and Plan B gave me the respite I desperately needed.

I'm pretty sure I would have filed for D immediately if he ever told me he didn't love me or had never loved me...or any of the other nonsense that they all say.

Anyways...right now I wouldn't say ANYTHING to him...give him a few days to calm down, and just sit tight. Spend those days getting your ducks in a row for Plan B.

My guess is that he is going to contact you in a few days and try to make things all nicey-nice. So hang tight until then.

Have you given anymore thought into who could be an IM for you?

Nope, won't work...he will totally continue to try to abuse you and you will LB all over the place.

He needs to miss you COMPLETELY and have NO ACCESS to you.

Keep thinking....

No I said in the post above your that I don't. I don't know what to do.

Just got this email from WH:

"I apologize for my use of profanity today. My anger got the best of me."

Should I respond?

See?!?!?! What did I tell you...he contacted YOU and is acting all nicey-nice!

I wouldn't respond at all right now...let's see what happens between tonight and tomorrow morning.

You have always forgiven very easily and that is what he has come to accept...so he keeps abusing you because he KNOWS you will just forigve and move on. That needs to stop.

ok I won't respond. I don't want to anyway.

ok, so why did your IM back out?

VST - this is a post I made to someone else who's husband was abusing the privilege of contact with his wife - and the slime-ball WH of yours shows the height of disrespect to his own flesh and blood daughter by having OW's children's pictures in his office. I don't know if I could forgive that one... Can you get documentation from your informant for potential custody? You wouldn't want your daughter bouncing into his office seeing the impostor children pictures next to hers!


Girl - you need some 'tude! You are way too classy to engage in a tussle over this man anymore. He seriously needs to get out of the waller and clean up his act before he gets to have contact with you.

Intermediaries are easy to find if you are willing to strictly follow no contact. I know the three queens of Marriage Builders Plan B Intermediary volunteered to handle communications for another woman who couldn't find an intermediary. However, that dear woman couldn't commit to Plan B for herself - she kept answering his emails and following HIS plan instead of her own Plan B. So if you are serious put out here on the board that you will strictly not open any emails, texts, phone calls or doorbells rung by your WH - they don't give a rip if he's mad!

:crosseyedcrazy:


Such a wayward. They are so predictable.

See, everything we're telling you? He's doing it, isn't he.

KA, you are RIGHT ON, girlfriend!

I remember this

Leilana had gone against the MB rule of thumb that the WS cannot continue to work with the OP and anticipate there will be no "sparks" between WS and OP.

She went along with WH & OW working together ..... until lo-and-behold .... the A restarted >shock<

Yes I see SMB....I see. His abuse yesterday took a tole on me....I'm feeling very unemotional, which I take as maybe unresolved anger. The two pieces of info I was given yesterday about him taking her into his office and shutting the door and OW kids pics in his office did me in. They had been doing the "office" thing for longer that I thought it might have been going on anyway. I'm just done. I know that if he were to pop up and change in the dramatic way that I need him too, I would look at this marriage again. Otherwise, I am done. I just don't deserve this abuse. It's funny, I never really thought of it as abuse until yesterday. I don't know why.

My lawyer is getting the papers ready and he should be served first part of next week. I still don't have an IM. The one I had lined up has been told "absolutely not" by her husband. He is afraid of WH's anger. I asked another ify option I had and she declined. I have no other options. I've thunk and thunk about it and come up empty handed.

Thanks KA, that is so disrespectful I've been feeling quite sick to my stomach today . I don't know if I can forgive it either. Her kids called him their "2nd dad" and told him they loved him. He also had a card they gave him for something standing along with the pic saying that stuff. I know, it's pretty sick.

I will get full custody. He would NEVER ask for that. I've been a single parent for years and years anyway. He has been pretty much fully uninvolved all her life.

Here are some options I can think of. Have your attorney operate as an IM but I can already see the problems with that.

Or perhaps some of here could do this as a TEAM via one email address. [he would not know this is a team, though] And here is how that could work. Tell him that all communication needs to go through your "marriage coach, Sally, WHO IS A NEUTRAL PARTY," at sallywhosit@gmail.com. She will pass on all pertinent information regarding finances and child visitation to me.

His response will be to refuse to use the IM and to make threats, etc. But usually when the WS sees he ain't getting through any other way, he does relent.

vst, if I thought you could get away with not having an IM, I would say so. BUT I KNOW YOU CAN'T. He will put you through a holy hell you have never imagined after you ask him to not contact you. He will go out of his way to prove to you he is in control and will keep you in constant turmoil.

I know his type and it is not pretty.

vst, I might be willing to IM for you...can you email me at marriedforever2006@yahoo.com?

You really need Plan B asap. DO NOT TALK TO HIM RIGHT NOW. I am very afraid you are going to LB all over the place.

Please email me. I'm leaving for a few hours but will get back to you later this afternoon.

Mel, see my post above.