When a wayward begins an affair he/she will find all sorts of justifications...

He never did ____
She always ____
If he would have only _____ I would not have HAD to have an affair.


I'm not getting my way so I will ignore the rules and just take what I want...

Sort of like a revenge affair and it's justifications.

She did it first.
I didn't start this.
It's not my fault...

Whhhhaaaaaa!

Please. Grow up and get a clue.

We all regret decisions we made at some point in our life.

If "ifs" and "buts" were candy and nuts we'd all have a marvelous Christmas...

And Dude, if you truly believe in karma, be VERY afraid. Karma suggests that you get exactly what you deserve. It doesn't just apply to your wife but to you as well.

If karma is reality, your wife's affair was because of something you had done. In that case, your RA, while feeling good, means your lesson is not learned and you are destined to repeat the process until the balance is right.

If your wife had wrecked her car would you have smashed yours into a bridge abutment in response? If she had fallen down and broken a leg would you have hurled yourself off of a building?

What does a wayward feel in the way of remorse?

7 Emotional Trials a Cheater Will Face

Amen.

I'm wondering why what his exwife did seems so much worse to him than what he did? Because she did it first????

Dude, you think you "get it" but you're not there yet. At this point I would suggest IC and you really getting in touch with your issues- while your exwife is working on hers. But I don't believe you think you have any issues.