You're right Cat, I will call his company just as soon as I update here.

I just talked to Slutlee's PO. In the treatment program she's in, she is not allowed to associate with other alcoholics. My WH is one. I told the PO that, and he wanted to know his name and what he drives. So I told him, and he is going to keep an eye out. I don't know if they can make H take the drunk test if he's not driving. Maybe just by being in her company.

The *itch is going to PAY, big time!

My gut says this is a PA... or is about to be one.

Keep us posted...I like how you're gearing up to take charge of the situation instead of just letting it happen to you. Good job!
Cat...I wouldn't want to be your enemy!

That may be, Meggy, but I'm unable to deal with it now. WH will not forget a friendship I had 18 years ago, and it has made him angry and bitter. I don't want to get like that.

I'm going to wait and see if her PO is able to do anything.

I'm going to wait and see if her PO husband is able to do anything.

lf, you know what I see wrong with your marriage? You keep talking about what OTHER people should be doing to fix it. When it is YOU who has the most power. Yet you continue to say 'I can't' or 'he won't' or 'if he would just'.

What about you standing up for yourself and demanding - and expecting - what you deserve?

He has no reason to respect you - YOU don't respect you.

V4G, I'll tell you the one thing I see here more than anything else: compliance.

At least half, if not 3/4, of all the problems I read here are because the person coming here is giving in. So as not to anger, not to be yelled at, not to look bad, not to be embarrassed...whatever reason, the aggressive spouse does something wrong, but the weak spouse (the poster) LETS them! By that I mean, people who take will keep taking and taking, as long as we givers keep giving (giving in).

I'm always amazed at the infidelity stories where the BS (so far, always a man) finds out, immediately goes after the WS and the OM/OW, and rips them a new one, and says NO!

Why do those Takers quit taking? Because the Giver changes tactics and says NO MORE! and scares the crap out of them! As in, do one more thing and I AM GONE!

It's human nature. No one is going to keep pushing when the pushee makes their lives miserable.