Tough excrement for her....Poor, poor little baby!

Iam is taking words out of my mouth.

Iam: Check your shoes...my gum is missing.

Wife would not sign the Temp Agreement without attorney looking at it, so I had to go forward with Ex Parte. My guy in front of judge as we speak...

I've re=read all my posts here and do not believe I've said anything that can be used against me. When I refer to the "crack-pipe" I'm talking about my addiction to my wife. I have in no way ever done drugs. Nor have i ever engaged in an extra marital affair. NEVER. Not even since Divorce Day.

Update: Okay, the judge signed teh ex parte giving me temp custody of kiddos. He did not alow me custody of the home, so she can move back in if she wishes. I can ask her to be out of house, but she can move back in. good thing she's been out for a week and helped me drain the love bank and break the addiction to her.

I'm headed to attorney's office now to pick up paper work. Ug, this is stressful...

Can you ask your mother to move in with you temporarily to help with kids? That will keep her out of house I bet.

She's due back in 30 minute or so. Hopefully she didn't retain the attorney she met with today. My guy says he will look at this as a $20k payday and fight us for every inch.

Hopefull cooler heads will prevail.

It seems all the cards are in my hand...a royal flush. She's sitting on a pair of dueces...

time will tell.

This is to be expected ... you will soon see a side to your WW that you've never seen before. Once she realizes that her actions have put her future in serious jeopardy ... she will fight you like a caged animal. Just expect it and prepare for it in advance.

It appears that you have EXCELLENT representation ... PLUS you have the FACTS on your side. No doubt it will get messy, but I see you prevailing on the important issues in the end.

The positive part of this is that once this transformation in WW starts, you won't have to worry about draining your LB ... it will split wide open ... never to hold deposits from WW again.

I agree with MyRev. Divorce and lawyers will bring out the worst in you STBXWW.

Keep taping conversations when she is in the house. She may try to accuse you of something. A hidden camera may not be a bad idea either.

Boy, SS2 and My Rev, you guys are talking about the EXACT feelings I'm going through. LG, these feelings are NORMAL. I say go with it, but don't let them cloud your judgment. When you have been betrayed so deeply, it's hard not to question everything, and rightfully so. I think you have to divorce them in your heart and separate them from your feelings of love and protection so you can move forward with intent. This is especially important for someone with a more passive, rescuer personality. She cheated him three times and he did nothing but take it. What's not hateable about that? I think he'll eventually move on and won't hold onto those feelings of hate. It'll become more of combination of acceptance, sadness and a feeling pity for her. I kind of agree with MyRev though, he needs the hate to fuel his resolve during a very difficult time. He put all anger aside for so long, let him indulge! LG, just be careful how much you indulge! SS2 has a point about setting an example for your daughters. Just remain cool and focused. It's gonna hurt BAD for awhile, there's no escaping it. Also, the temptation to fill that hole with a person will be very strong. BE CAREFUL! That's how you got where you are. You also run the risk of hurting someone else. One night stands are pretty hard to pull off for conscionable people like yourself. You still have to live with yourself at the end of the day, and to do that, you might just fall in love with the wrong woman again! Hang in there my Man!!!!

Because she now has permission to be in the house, she may do the same, LG. Even though she's not there all day due to work, she may do all the things that BSs are encouraged to do on here -- put GPS on your phone, tap the phones, GPS your car, keylogger on family computer(s), hide Nanny cams to spy on you when she's not there... She could easily do things while you're sleeping or in the shower.

Just be careful.

My solution for getting WW out of the house was to just keep asking her abotu 20 times a day. It worked. That, and she gives up very easily, like she did on our marriage. I LOVE the idea of your mom being there.

We had a long talk today when she got here. She's worried about $$$ and didn't want to hire the cut-throat attorney she met with today. She tells me she wants to work on this divorce together. He advised her to clean out the account (i already took half) and she doesn't want to do that. Doesn't want to ruin our credit rating. He also recommended getting her paycheck put in a separate account...she said she doesn't want to do that.

She didn't accuse me of anything this afternoon as she did this morning (aka, why are you doing this to me...why taking me away from my kids...I shut her down quick).

I told her I'd like to hear the truth some day about Dr.X. She still denies recent involvement but tells me now that they played smoochy in the doc lounge when people weren't around. Death by a thousand cuts.

She will know about the blackberry spy stuff soon, as we had to divulge some of that info to get the ex parte. So I read the texts to her...and she said it was all joking, just bantering back and forth. Still denies any recent intimacy with Dr. X.

Her non-verbals said otherwise. Arms crossed, legs crossed, but she could look me right in the eye. She may never tell me the truth. I almost don't care any more.

I could feel her pulling me back a little with the sobbiness and sadness she is feeling. I'm being distant and civil to her tonight. MOre later...need to spend time with the kiddos.

this would be much easier to hate her if she was more beligerent and confrontational.

Don't believe it! Her lawyer probably said to go home and be nice until she can get her ducks in a row. Ask your attorney if you can have a financial order against any changes including payroll. My husbands ex-wife had all assets and paychecks frozen in place until the final settlement was reached. He couldn't change his deposits. He couldn't buy anything. He couldn't sell anything. He had to pay all bills as previously. She had a restraining order against him so he couldn't enter the home. He had to pack his stuff with police escort. He hadn't done anything. She said that she was afraid of him. Tell your lawyer everything that she told you her lawyer advised her.

It's time your world didn't revolve around her - and you will have to actively choose to not let it revolve around her - the sooner the better.

You're welcome to take a time out in the Plan B Cafe - all sorts of good ideas for working on the rest of your life living well rather than fixing her mess - that's her job, in or out of your life!

It doesn't have to be hate. Just look at her and picture her with three different men. Do you want to wake up to that? I mean I'm sure she's sorry. I'm sure she loves you. She does not respect you, and in my opinion, she has broken your ability to respect her. So being with her would be a lot of delusion for you, as in the past. That's not a healthy love.

It would be easier if she would say horrible things like the other men were far sexier than you, more successful than you, better looking, etc. It would be easier if she had this big-bad attitude that *she* did nothing wrong...that this was *my* fault.

FWIW, I told her I could wrap my head around old-hunting-buddy affair -- me not meeting ENs, her starting with texts, waling down that path, calls, the hookup (again, I said my actions in NO WAY justify an affair...that's all on her).

But Dr.X? If it indeed was 2 years ago in the spring, looking back all seemed peachy to me at the time. Even if it was last spring (I will probably never know), things were difficult financially for a time, but it's hard to wrap my head around it.

I guess it's good that I'm starting not to care.

She slept in guest bed room last night, even though POS-attorney (that she didn't hire) said she has every right to the marital bed as I do. She's said if I'm having a bad day just let her knwo and she will give me extra space.

Is she truely a remorseful and broken woman? Or is she just playing me so I don't take the shirt off her back (and I don't want her shirt...cause then I have to see those new boobies...strange, they don't look so nice now that I can imagine someone elses hands on them...)

Attorney said keep her close and keep working towards the "let's work on this to keep costs down" philosophy. More later...

It will save you money and time if you can work out an agreement with her. The attorneys that I have dealt with in the past will drag it out to make themselves more money. I have seen it more often than not. If you and your wife don't agree, it could go back and forth through the courts until the money runs dry - and still not be resolved or finalized. If you can use her "guilt and remorse" now to your advantage before it subsides and is replaced by hatred and aggression on her part, it would serve you well. It is unlikely that you will win anything that is not fair or within the laws of your state.

Be carefull what you wish for.

Yes, I belive she is extreamly remorsful.

Remorsful she got cought

Remorsful she will loose the security you offer

Remorsful she wont be able to have you and a "Man of the Month"

Remorsful about the reputation she may gain

Remorsful that she may loose some time with her children

Remorsful that this will affect her financially

And combined, this has broken her.

But she is not remotley remorsful for what her actions have done to you, only the consiquences SHE may have to face.

Gack, I think a lot of waywards have that attitude.

LG, Coho doesn't say horrible things to me for the most part. She says she's sorry, it's not my fault, she knows she messed up, etc. What she doesn't say is I will do anything to make you whole again, to fix the damage I've done. Does your wife say this? Now that I have some distance from her, it's plain as day that she's just not who I need or want. I don't want someone who could do the things she's done. I don't want someone who values our life together so little, or who has so little self control and insight. Please don't 'wrap your head around' her affairs. Think about how much it hurt you. Think about whether or not you would knowingly do that to her three times.

It is hard to do this. That's inescapable. It will stay hard for months. The longer you're away from her, the easier it will be to see her clearly. The fake boobs will symbolize her hollowness, her insecurity. She'll just stop being the person you want to invest your efforts in.

Tonight she asked about typing her journal for counselor. I debated in my mind about letting her work on one of household computers since I have keyloggers on them. I don't want to see her words any more. I don't want to know what's in her head any more. I'm done with spying on her.

So I said if I were her I wouldn't do anything on any computer I own. Period. Explained to her even if she took the laptop, it's there and can e-mail me information she types. She got teary eyed. Mainly because she's now got to go to friends how to use computer. tough chit.

I will also use this in the negotiation process when it comes time to settle -- In good faith I told you about keylogger, etc.

And I took the flexispy off her cell phone. I don't want to see her calls and she went dark with her texts, so they were serving me no purpose. Told her how it worked, showed her that I can't see calls or texts any more. Done. I'm done with spying on her, becasue I don't care what she does any more. We are done.

I got a little dig in...saying I want to show you this software. Becasue some where down the line you might become friendly with someone, may fall in love. And God forbid you are put through the same thing as I'm facing now. If you do feel suspicious about your future boyfriend, think about this software. She cried.

I'm still contemplating putting a voice activated recorder in her car just to keep tabs on her and the attorney. But in some ways I really don't want to know any more. I'm trying to care less. Her power over me is getting weaker and weaker.

I look at her and feel less and less every day. She's getting cloer to rock bottom, but is still no where close in my opinion. Enough for now...