I agree with tst. He is just asking for an easy way out. He's feeling you out to see if you're ready to crumble and cave.

DO NOT ANSWER HIM!

Send his note to your IM and have YOUR IM ANSWER HIM!

GREAT answer.
Thank you Cat.

wow tst, you're good.....I see it now that you've broken it down.

Is Cat right? Maybe this could be the opening for my IM's to let him know that my mental and emotional health is at risk by communicating with him and I'm out of the loop once again.

I've learned quite a bit in the last few days, even just this morning. I believe I could be even stronger this time in PB.

Cat is right... Let them handle this... stay dark...

Y E S

She's right, I was not.

PEPPER...

Your response was PERFECT..... it's what the IM's should say at this point though...
He's cracking FOR SURE.... but he needs some educatuion because of the "How could I ever fix it remark"

and VST can't be the one to educate him.......Right VST... I know it's tempting... but let the IM'S show him the way he can fix this...the way home....
GOoD Luck and PRAYERS!!!!!! Frank

no no no

This statement gives the impression of weakness.

I wish BS were more inclined to not share this kind of information. It arms the WS...they start thinking that they can wear you down if they continue.

Don't ever show anything but STRENGTH in what you are doing.

committed

Thanks everybody!! All of you are great and I appreciate each and every one of you!

Committed, I agree 100%. I was getting ready to post that.

Don't worry. The IMs will be sure that her letter shows that she is coming from a place strength, and not that she is emotionally crumbling.

No way! No how!

And as long as she maintains her Plan B, she will get stronger every day. I saw it in her in just the short week she was in Plan B.

But WH is smooth and manipulative and knows how to suck her in. That is why she has to close EVERY DOOR BEFORE she delivers the new re-plan B letter. Once he gets it, he can't have a way back in her life except through the IMs.

Thanks Frank!

Thanks C&L and smb, you're right I have to show my strength. I did let him see my pain though during this PB break.....he knows it's a roller coaster for me. So I have to buck up, show my total and absolute inner strength and not break again!

My suggestion would be to make your seque back into Plan B as short and sweet and DARK as possible just making a short comment to this and saying that any future contact will have to be directed to your IM. That eliminates another Plan B letter and gets this show on the road by noon today.

I would answer like this TODAY:

Dear WH,

The solution to our problem is in my letter. It is to a) end all contact with Skankyhola even if it means leaving the job, b) agree to a plan to recover our marriage, c) getting rid of the boat. [just insert whatever your conditions are]

Our communications are simply too painful so I must insist that all future communications go through my friends, tst and SMB, as I said in my letter.

Please respect my wish for no contact until the current conditions change.

With all my love, vst

I don't think this should come from the IM's. Since you opened the door, vst, it should be YOU who closes it. IMO, it is capricious to agree to talk to him and then have the IM's contact him out of the blue with another plan. That is going to just tick him off more. I would send the email and THEN CLOSE THAT EMAIL ACCOUNT.

You can't afford another break, vst. Your Plan B was working and you caved at that very moment, which makes him think he can drag you out at will. You can't afford to do that again. Plan B is your ONLY LEVERAGE. it is your LAST HOPE.

You know Plan B is working when the WS gets angry and tries to get through. That means they are uncomfortable and want you TO EASE THEIR PAIN. They would rather YOU change than them, so they will try to get you to change your conditions first. When they see that doesn't work and you are not around to beat up, is when they start looking at themselves.

So, allowing him to break Plan B gives him more time to be wayward.

Mel, THANK YOU! You nailed it.

Are you safely back in Plan B?

How are you doing?

My friend died today. She had battled cancer for 2 years. I loved her. She fought so hard. She wanted so badly to stay here with her husband and two children ages 5 & 9.

She taught me that spending time with family and appreciating the moments and memories is the most important thing. She taught me what real friendship is and she loved me.

I have no one to hold me. I am so alone and so sad.

Correction....my DD9 held me as I lay in the floor sobbing. I do have someone to hold me.

I wish my WH wanted to be with me. His arms around me would feel so good right now.

{{{vst}}}I'm so sorry!

((((VST)))) I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. I pray that God sends you comfort right now in this time of sadness.