sorry clay but texting her is not him making a huge effort in my book, if he was making a huge effort he would turn up where she works etc. Him texting her is a pitiful attempt at trying to find someone who cares about him when you shut the door on that, until plan B he always had someone to hold and listen to him in you and the kids but now he is outside alone anything will do but he knows now that she isnt interested anymore so what do you think he will do now? my guess is feel sorry for himself for a while and you might get him calling saying he is depressed but you are wise now so just remind him he can be happy again just read plan B letter. you havent stopped loving him you just cant love him directly when he isnt loving you back the way he should.

What did the text say?

Or he's just horny. (sorry, but that's been my experience with guys)

Anyway, definitely tell the kids. Definitely tell his parents. And explain to them why the kids won't be with him on Thanksgiving. So they'll be sure to know it's their SON'S fault.

You gals forget that she lives 2000 miles away. Apparently the text was 'congratulations on your new job.' Her text back was 'I don't want to hear from you again' At least that is what she showed her husband.

I did tell the kids. They are disgusted with him. I am waiting to see what they want to do about Thanksgiving. Then I will call his parents.

OWH emailed my WH as WH wouldn't pick up the phone. (chicken ****) Told him to leave his wife alone.

No, and we covered this before. MY opinion is that, when a man gets horny, he thinks a certain way. It obliterates everything he does, because he's horny! It doesn't mean he hopes to get anything out of it, it's just that it guides his thinking.

I think women truly don't get that about guys.

I definitely get that.

Man = horny = look for way to satisfy horni-ness.

Just got this from OWH - email dialog between him and WH

OWH: Never contact my wife again. No texts, no calls, no instant messaging chat, no emails, no visits. No contact.


WH: Well its about time. I've been wondering when you were going to step up. There are many things that I could say to you, but I will leave it this way. You must change or you will lose her. That's not my fault. It may not be to me.I know how she feels to not be appreciated. You can't buy what she needs. Good luck to you.

OWH: I know I have made many mistakes in our relationship but infidelity is not one of them. I have changed and am changing every day. You are the weak one. Appreciate what you have.
Good luck to you too. Go sleep with someone else�s wife again. And again. Continue to hurt your girls and your wife.

HW: There were times that I felt bad for you. I am not the monster tht you think I am. Unless you have gone through what I did then you can't understand. I don't make excuses. There are circumstances in my life that you will never know about. You can reply if you want to, but I am ending this dialog.

Claygirl --

This exchange happened because your PLAN B IS WORKING.

WH is desperately seeking attention to his EN's.
You have made yourself unavailable to him, OW is now unavailable to him. It would not be unthinkable for him to seek someone new.
Don't worry about this. Its just a step he has to take before he becomes willing to look at the real cause (himself!).

And really? What an A$$ to make "suggestions" to OWH on how to treat her.

What an [censored].

Does he always have to have the last word? How...third grade.

My thoughts exactly. Poor him. Nobody understands his circumstances.

Still totally wayward.


Everything in there BUT owning his own stuff. Lexxxy made a good point that he might yet again find someone new... he's trying hard to look elsewhere for something to fix what's broken, and it's himself. I wouldn't worry about it either. To do so would be to rob him of the chance to become a decent person.

Thank heavens for a dark Plan B.

Hey Clay what i dont get about that message highlighted by turtle is how can he say "i dont make excuses" and then insinuate that circumstances in his life (that OWH is unaware of) led or contributed to his behaviour. It just doesent make sense is he or isnt he making excuses?? I think he is and I think he is getting peeved you and OWH have put a definite end to cake eating. I keep thinking of what you said about him being brought up not being made accountible for his actions, what are your ILaws saying about this situation. Have you thought of writing them heartfelt letter telling them how much you love WS and how much you want him to grow as a person and learn from his mistake and be a good father and husband and all you would like is their support in achieving this, after all would they rather brag about a divorced son who hops from one bed to another or tell people how proud they are of their family man son.

My thoughts exactly...he is still making excuses.

As far as in-laws. I have already had moe than one conversation with his dad in the past. One after DD1. Told him exactly what you said. Another in June when my car was reposessed. At that time he told WH that I was a saint. Now apparently he is mad at me for telling the girls, so no I will not be having any communcation with them letter or otherwise.

do you know this for sure of is it something that WS could have said to keep you away from IL as he was feeling the pressure from them?
Lets look at it this way for a sec, in your own words he has been used to not being held accountable for his actions by his parents. could it be that if they had a change of attiture he would literally be shaken into reality as its not something he would be expecting?
Another thing is if this all goes well and you are once again reunited as a family, it wouldnt hurt for you to have a good relationship with his parents it will make him feel more at ease as he wont be stuck in the middle of animocity.
I may be totally off track here as i dont know too much about his parents but i get the feeling they can come in useful if approached in the right way.

this advise is coming from someone who had to stay nice and friendly with a MIL that instead of helping family told WS that she didnt beleive he ever loved me and that he should leave me because he is only with me because im a sad case that appealed to his helping nature (ok she didnt know he was having A when she said this but regardless it was a nasty thing to do). Now she loves me more than she loves him LOL

I think you have a great opportunity to continue to take the high road concerning his parents and family. Show them what integrity you have, what strength you have, that you always put your kids' well-being first, that you never criticize their son/brother...after awhile it may become obvious which of you is on the right path.

You are probably right. I just don't know if I have the strength to do that right now. Maybe in a few days. Just not up to hearing his mother try to tell me that he was justified, or getting a tongue lashing from his dad.

Quite understandable. Just keep the option open.

Claygal, how are you doing?

Claygal, how are you? How has everything been going?

Uh-oh, I am starting to think her WH broke through her Plan B. Claygal, what's going on?