For starters, I have no idea what you mean about Plan A or Plan B. Exposing everything to her family? Wouldn't that be petty and demeaning to myself? Like I said, I don't want to push him further away. I would never get children involved in this. It's not their place. My kids have, and continue to, voice their concerns, opinions and feelings with him.

I want him to realize what a mistake he has made & how much he hurt me and the kids. At this point, he doesn't care. When we do talk it's all about him. The last time we spoke he asked about the kids but never asks how I am doing, how my work is going, what I have been up to, etc. The one time I asked him why he doesn't ask me, his response was that he knew how I felt and that I was hurting. I told him that there is more to life than what he did to me, the kids and to our family. But he still does not ask.

The way he has been talking lately, it sounds like he misses this state and, possibly, me. He is more relaxed with me on the phone than he has been since he moved out there. Maybe he misses the familiarity of being with me and the kids and where he used to live. I don't know; it's probably just a pipe dream and I am reading too much into it.

If you can, please explain to me why you say Plan A & B would work because I don't see how.

hiilwaw,
If you truly want to save your marriage, do everything they are telling you here especially the exposure. I made the BIG mistake of not FULLY exposing to everybody and it only caused me more heartache. Only when I finally exposed everything to the OW's family and work and my WH's family did it bring the whole affair into the light. It took a lot of detective work and he was furious, but it sure woke him up from the dream state he was living.